X-aspirations

X-Aspirations Episode 126 The Uncanny X-Men #142, February 1981 "Mind Out of Time!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. I Can See For Miles And Milestones! In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Just Like Indian Food, She Goes Right Through You, That Ororo Likes Countries Like She Likes Her Men: Big Enough That They Don't Trigger Her Debilitating Claustrophobia, And That With A Large Enough Wolverine Colossus Could Move The World! Mystique Has Seen Everything Travolta Has Ever Done -- She Even Kinda Digged "Wild Hogs"! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 125 The Uncanny X-Men #141, January 1981 "Days of Future Past" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Jam A Firework Wherever A Spider Can! In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale's Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity! Bobby Darrin Wouldn't Last Three Seconds in a Mutant Apocalypse! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 124 The Uncanny X-Men #140, December 1980 "Rage!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Me Too, Marvel! In Which We Find That There Is Nothing Like The Bond That Forms Between Two Men And A Nice Large Stump, That Smokey The Bear Is Mostly A Symbol Of The Ineffectiveness of Civilization In Battling the Elemental Might of Fire. And Also, He Is A Total Hoser, And That The Toughest Battles of Wolverine's Early Years Were Keeping Three People Under A Single Comforter! Hey Mama! You're Listening To This Podcast, I Am In This Podcast... We Should Make Beautiful Music Together! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 123 The Uncanny X-Men #139, November 1980 "...Something Wicked This Way Comes!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Easy Peasey, Writer Weezie! In Which We Discover That When Your Hands Are Can Openers Every Problem Is A Can, That Shaman Often Calls Upon The Four Winds and the Spirit Moon To Keep His Toes Dry And Chafe-Free, And That Snowbird Defies Stereotypes of Both Traditional Femininity And Feminine Voice Work! Wow, Canada Has Upwards of Ten Provinces! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 122 X-Men Annual #4, November 1980 "Nightcrawler's Inferno" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Romita, Jr., Inks by Bob McLeod, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. All That Glitters Is Not X-Men Gold! In Which We Learn That Nightcrawler Can Finally Ditch His Fake ID, That Kitty Pryde Has The Drinking Habits Of A Bitter Joan Crawford, And That It's Hard Out Here For A Sorcerer Supreme, Getting Enough Magic For His Rent! Storm Gets Only 78% Of The Praise Of Her Male X-Men Counterparts! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 121 The Uncanny X-Men #138, October 1980 "Elegy" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Once You Go Black Panther... In Which We Discover That Shi'Ar Culture May Overvalue Their Novelty Snow Globes, That Scott Now Has Both Rose Colored Glasses And Boots Made For Walking, And That One Can Not Underestimate The Value of A Well Placed Jacket Flap To Get Around The Comics' Code! Wait, Remind Me. Exactly Which Stage Of Grief Is The Supervillain Montage? Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 120 The Uncanny X-Men #137, September 1980 "The Fate of the Phoenix!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup and Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Don't Cry, We'll Be Back Again Some Month! In Which We Find That Five Billion Is Actually The Loneliest Number, That The Only Way For The X-Men To Save Jean Is To Go The Full Monty, And That Gladiator Does Not Want You To Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful! You Can Forget Their Weird Tears, Because The Shi'Ar Also Poop Ampersands! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 119 The Uncanny X-Men #136, August 1980 "Child of Light and Darkness!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Retaining The Right To Reserve Judgment Day! In Which We Learn That The Greatest Threat To Most Alien Civilizations Is That No One Can Pronounce Anyone Else's Name, That Parental Guilt Trips Scale With The Amount of Omnipotence One Possesses So Mathematically You Actually Can Never Be Good Enough, And That No, Xavier Can Not Let Scott Have Even Just This One! Will We Ever Learn The Difference Between C&C Music Factory and Snap!? Probably Not. Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 118 The Uncanny X-Men #135, July 1980 "Dark Phoenix" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Got A... Stranger Magic! In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time! Alas, Bobby, The Lowest Cut Of All Is To Be Ranked Below Angel! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 117 The Uncanny X-Men #134, June 1980 "Too Late The Heroes!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter. Heck It, We'll Do It Live Action! In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain't Heavy He's My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus' Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More 'Let It Go' refrain from Nightcrawler, He's A Dead Elf! Always Avoid Any Power Sharing Agreement With Jean Grey! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 116 The Uncanny X-Men #133, May 1980 "Wolverine: Alone!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Holding On For A Hero Til The End of The Line! In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart's Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time! Ironically, Dumb Waiters Are Extremely Thought Provoking! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 115 The Uncanny X-Men #132, April 1980 "And Hellfire Is Their Name!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Jim Salicrup, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter KISS Arose From Jean Grey! In Which We Discover That Wolverine May Be Murder On The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, But He Better Watch Himself With The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, That You Can't Toss A Rock In The Marvel Universe Without Hitting An Over-Priviliged Hellfire Club Member, And That Only Jean Grey Can Control Scott's Blasts... If You Know What I Mean! Candy Southern Swings, By Which I Of Course Mean That Her Bedroom Has An Actual Swing Set! It's 1980, Baby! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 114 The Uncanny X-Men #131, March 1980 "Run For Your Life!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter The Female Is The Deadlier of the Artistes! In Which We Learn That The Hellfire Minion Funniest Facial Expression Contest Always Ends In A 20-Way Tie, That 1970s Detroit Builds Nothing The X-Men Won't Mangle, And That Kitty Pryde Is Just Not Sure She Can Deal With The Amount of X-Nudity Required! Hey Jean, Mike Tyson Called To Say That He Is Really Worried About You! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 113 The Uncanny X-Men #130, February 1980 "Dazzler" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bo Derek! In Which We Find That Wolverine Lives In Constant Fear Of Recklessly Fast Zipper Pull-Ups, That Like Many Girls Jean Grey Dreams Of A Traditional, Intimate Wedding In A Quaint Church That Only Partially Smells of Its Own Fiery Conflagration, And That There Are Two Things Dazzler Loves: Driving Disco Beats And Speculative Fiction By The Dean Of Science Fiction! C’mon Hanes! The X-men Desperately Need A Sponsorship Deal! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 112 The Uncanny X-Men #129, January 1980 "God Spare the Child..." Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Bob Sharen, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter The Con That Conned The Comic Con! In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don't Give A Damn! Just Remember, Emma Can Melt Your Brain With A Thought, But It Was Emma That Burst Onto The Scene With Judd Apatow's Superbad! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 111 The Uncanny X-Men #128, December 1979 "The Action Of The Tiger!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Sim-ply The Best? In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs 'n Berries! When Proteus Asked For A Summers Boys Double Team He Did Not Get What He Wanted At All! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 110 The Uncanny X-Men #127, November 1979 "The Quality of Hatred!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Proceed Directly To Market, Do Not Pass Go! In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert's Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff! You Can Disparage Banshee's Virility All You Want, But Go After His Swiss Miss And There Will Be Hell To Pay! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 109 The Uncanny X-Men #126, October 1979 "How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth...!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Oh, You Mutie Things! In Which We Find That Hunting Naked Men Is One Of The Fifty Shades of Jean Grey, That Madrox Is Only One Step Above A Tennis Ball On A Stick, And That Mutant X May Have One Further Weakness: Love… And A Debilitating Addiction To Prescription Medication. Also, Chocoholic! We Have Just Two Weaknesses… And They Are Both Russian Accents! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 108 The Uncanny X-Men #125, September 1979 "There's Something Awful on Muir Island!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Rom, Rom, Rom Your Boat, Gently Down The Stream!! In Which We Discover That Wolverine Has Been Insufferable Ever Since Nightcrawler Broke the Keurig Machine, That Jean Grey Has Been Traveling the Mediterranean Learning the Tantric Secrets of the Yoni and the Emotional Voids, And That At Last The X-Men Can Really Celebrate Because Everyone is Not Dead! Well, Except Changeling, but F--- That Guy! We Apologize For Our Anti-Orange Being Comments. The Jokes Were Crude and Thoughtless and We Had No Idea People of Orange Color Actually Had Tri-Genitals. Our bad. Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com

X-Aspirations Episode 107 X-Men King-Size Annual #3, August 1979 "A Fire in the Sky!" Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by George Perez, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter Perez And Accounted For! In Which We Learn That Logan Could Have Saved This Civilization If He Had Only Finished His Online Vocational Electronics Course, That Nightcrawler's Greatest Nemesis Is The Rotary Phone, And That No Abducted Lady's Wardrobe Is Complete Without A Metal Bikini! Combining Tight Leather Bondage Gear And Excessive Body Hair Definitely Requires An Enhanced Healing Factor! Check us out at www.x-aspirations.com And send us comments at xteam@x-aspirations.com