Creating Real Marriages That Last With Dr. Mike Glenn

In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss how to “divorce-proof” your marriage. In our culture, we see people approaching marriage more like a dating relationship. A couple gets married, and then we hear that they broke up. It happens with celebrity all the time and often just seems like the norm. But, realize that just because everyone else acts that way, doesn’t mean we have to. Christian marriage is about making the kingdom of God known in the context of our homes. You have to do all you can to protect your marriage.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss how to fight fair in marriage. The point of an argument is to solve a problem. So often, a couple gets into the middle of a fight and it becomes about power or ego or something else. But the issue never gets resolved. You always have to keep the focus on the issue at hand. We’ll discuss ways to fight fairly. There are also a lot of terrible ways to fight, and we’ll talk about those too.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about how it’s natural that couples adjust how they make their lives work together through different seasons of life. Some of this happens weekly as you check in with each other. Sometimes it happens when one spouse sees a need for an adjustment and brings it up. For instance, when my mom moved up here, Jeannie pointed out that I was worn out because I was still living out my normal schedule as if nothing had changed. In reality, everything had changed, so we had to figure out how to make adjustments accordingly. It’s all about having the courage and the confidence to talk with your spouse and work together to solve these challenges.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss the reality that marriage is never 50/50. A great marriage is always the husband giving 100% and the wife giving 100%. The secret that I’lll tell you is, you always have to come up with 200%. That means sometimes a season in marriage requires one spouse to give 140% because the other spouse can only give 60%. There are different seasons, and it’s all about the ebb and flow of those seasons in a marriage. The danger of assuming marriage is only 50/50 is making marriage more of a contract than a covenant. Often people enter marriage with an attitude that says, “I’ll do my part as long as the other person does their part.” But that’s not what marriage is. Marriage vows basically say, “I want to be here in this marriage come hell or high water.” No matter what. When you go into marriage with that kind of reckless abandon, you’ll experience a joy and adventure greater than you could ever imagine.

On today’s episode of Creating Marriages that Last, I share some thoughts on what your spouse needs to hear from you every day. A wife needs to hear that her husband loves her and why. A husband needs to hear his wife respects him and the reason why. That’s the difference between a husband and wife. Each is created to need and want a different kind of affirmation within the sanctuary of marriage. One thing your spouse never needs to hear is sarcasm. Remember, your marriage is a safe place and your words can wound, even when said in a way that you consider a joke. Choose to be intentional in how you speak to your spouse. Look for ways to lift one another up, instead of tearing each other down.

In today’s episode of “Creating Real Marriages that Last,” I share with my co-host Amy-Jo Girardier about the myth of finding balance between work and life. Unlike eastern philosophy, upon which the idea of “balance” is based, the biblical understanding of life is much more linear. The picture of life as a journey is much more accurate. At different times in our lives, we must make decisions about what is most appropriate to focus our time and energy on based on our priorities at the time. For me, the most important relationship in my life is with Christ, so I protect the time I need to focus on growing in my relationship with Him. If Jeannie or my sons need me when I’m in a meeting or with a group of people, they get my attention first, before anyone or anything else. It’s not that we always say, “No” to the other things in our lives that call for our attention. We just learn to say, “Not now” and instead focus first on those things we consider most important in our lives.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I discuss how to spiritually lead your children. I often say that children “catch” what you say much more often than they listen to what you actually tell them. You can’t teach them to become someone you’re not. You must be the example to your children. My dad taught Sunday School for over 40 years. Week after week, I watched him sit in his chair with his Bible in one hand and Sunday School quarterly in the other as he prepared to teach the lesson. That’s where I learned to love God’s Word. I saw that he was captivated by the Word and that made me want to study it too. You influence your children more than you realize.

In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I discuss the reality of having to become a parent to your parents. Recently, I moved my mom closer to where I live. To say I moved her is an understatement; I drug her to Nashville. I don’t think she’s forgiven me yet. She may never forgive me. It's been a challenging transition for the both of us. But I hear often that I’m not the only one going through this.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about the importance of continuing to “date” your spouse after you’re married. For the husband, this might mean calling your wife up on Monday and asking her out on a date for the weekend, or bringing home flowers for her just because. Doing these things not only strengthens your marriage, but also shows your children how a healthy marriage should be. One of the most important things a father can do for his children is love their mother well.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about the role of the church in caring for widows. One of the great things about the gospel is it gives us a new family. And one of the ways we see this is through the “adoption” of widows into families within the church. Many women who have lost their husbands don’t have any other family nearby. What if we invited them to lunch with our families or to come with us to a ball game? These women have a lot of wisdom to teach us, and we can ease some of the loneliness they face. I’ve learned that it takes time to love people well, but it’s always worth it.

This podcast is an excerpt of a sermon I recently preached from Ephesians 5. When we talk about the issue of marriage, let’s confess that we as the church of Jesus Christ have surrendered the biblical understanding of marriage to a romanticized fantasy that is perpetuated by our culture. The first place that biblical marriage has to be restored is in the church. We can’t continue to do cute weddings anymore. We must hold weddings, and encourage marriages that are committed to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about the significant role fathers play in the lives of their children. I share with my co-host, Darrel Girardier, some of the lessons I learned from my father that I've passed down to my sons. In addition, we discuss why fathers are so essential in the upbringing of both boys and girls. Society struggles when fathers are absent, and it's an epidemic that must be stopped.