Psychology Of Eating

When it comes to food and weight, many of us have learned to treat our bodies as a kind of machine.  We know what our Body Mass Index (BMI) “should” be, and we strive to stay within it. We may severely restrict our caloric intake, increase our weekly exercise to the point of exhaustion, or take other extreme measures to lose weight. And here’s the thing: these efforts often work, but the cost can be huge. At one point or another, most of us who pursue weight loss in this way end up feeling starved for pleasure and enjoyment in life. That’s the world that Jacques, 55, has been inhabiting since childhood. As a rabbi, Jacques counsels members of his community and helps them find wisdom in their challenges and tribulations.  But when it comes to his personal relationship with food, Jacques is struggling to let go of what he refers to as his “obsession with food.”  Jacques has tried so many things to lose weight, such as addressing his gut microbiome, taking hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) for weight loss, and

For so many of us, numbers hold power. Whether it’s our bank account, the calories on our plate, or our final exam score, we give tremendous meaning to numbers. But there’s one number we often give the greatest meaning of all – and that’s our weight. Most of us have a “number” in mind for what we “should” weigh, and we tend to believe in it wholeheartedly. We can place almost mystical significance on that figure, believing that the world – our world – will be so much different when we finally achieve it. In this episode, we meet 52-year old Reni from Australia, who has been dieting since her 20s. At one point, she *almost* reached her weight loss goal of 55 kilos, but missed it by 1 kilo.  As Marc David explores with Reni, that 1 extra kilo held significance for her far beyond the weight itself. Reni holds the common belief that she’ll feel more confident about herself once she loses the weight. And that extra confidence boost could be just the thing she needs to get out of a job that’s draining her soul, and

One thing we learn very early in our journey with food and body is that everyone’s got an opinion. We find no shortage of health and nutrition experts offering a variety of strong, and often conflicting, perspectives too. About healthy eating. About the ideal weight and body shape. About what we’re doing wrong. “But who is right? Will it work for me? What if it doesn’t?” And so we try everything – only to end up feeling overwhelmed, stuck, defeated, and lost. That’s where we meet today’s podcast guest. Hara is an accomplished 55-year-old business woman who enjoys confidence in all areas of her life – except in her relationship with food. Hara first started dieting at age 12 and has felt caught for decades in an unending cycle of perfectionism and restriction, followed by rebellious eating and overeating. Though she managed to free herself from dieting in recent years, Hara says a peaceful relationship with food still eludes her. In her words, “Loving myself didn’t magically make the food conversation go away.

Regrets. They’re something all of us have experienced over the years.  Whether it’s not following a dream career, missing out on the trip of a lifetime, or wishing you had been able to say that final goodbye, regrets can be truly hard to move on from.  As we explore in this episode, our regrets and disappointments in life can not only be difficult to get over, they can end up massively influencing every area of our lives – including our relationship with weight and food.  Think of it this way: regrets and disappointments are a burden. They hold us back mentally and emotionally, and keep us stuck in the past.  While we may not be consciously aware of them, our regrets can be a heavy weight – and we can end up associating that emotional weight with any physical weight we may be carrying.   As you’ll hear in this episode, Marc David works with 60-year old Mardeen around her desire to lose 7 pounds. Mardeen has already lost some weight, and would love to lose a little more. Like so many of us, one of the key beli

When it comes to weight, most of us are focused on improving our physical metabolism. We’ve been taught to think that weight loss is largely about reducing our caloric intake and increasing our daily exercise.  But what’s often not talked about are the role of hidden negative emotions in our weight journey. We may acknowledge the importance of processing and integrating emotions like anger and depression for our mental health. However, emotional metabolism is also essential for our physical health. So in this episode, we explore anger and depression on the weight continuum. Because so many people (especially women) have been taught that being angry isn’t OK … leading to depression, heaviness, and feeling stuck.  And while honoring and giving space for anger won’t necessarily translate into weight loss, it’s a vital step to: ✅ Affirming we are enough, just as we are – paving the way for greater self-acceptance and self-love ✅ Opening up to pleasure, whether we’re at our “ideal” weight or not ✅ Giving anger a v

In this episode, we explore how, for some people, the lifelong desire to lose weight can reflect an unconscious attempt to “fix” parts of ourselves that we think are broken or somehow wrong – something that is common for those of us who have endured childhood trauma or abuse.  As we know, childhood abuse and trauma can take many forms. And for too many, the effects of that abuse linger on well into adulthood, touching just about every aspect of life – from our intimate relationships, mental and physical health, self-confidence, and so much more.  Those of us who have endured abuse, trauma, or abandonment can end up feeling very unsafe in our bodies, or that there is something wrong with us that needs fixing.  As Marc David explores with 50-year old coaching client, Denise, one of the many ways people will sometimes try to re-establish safety or restore wholeness is by controlling their weight and diet. While Denise has largely healed from the childhood abuse she endured, she still struggles with not feeling w

Many of us have had the thought, “I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin.”  But have you ever stopped and truly considered this phrase? When we talk about feeling comfortable in our skin, we’re usually thinking about our weight. We want to be thinner, have a flatter belly, or trimmer thighs. We’re eager to feel good in our clothes, and want to like what we see in the mirror. And it seems like a reasonable desire to have the body that we want.  But as we explore in this episode, there’s an implicit negative belief behind this seemingly innocent goal: that, once we lose the weight, we’ll finally feel good about ourselves, and be happy. And perhaps that we’ll finally feel proud of ourselves, and that we’ve accomplished something important, and are therefore “worthy.” We can finally let go of all the guilt and self-blame, and bask in a glittering pool of self-acceptance. Here’s one thing we know, and at some level, you probably do, too… Believing that we’ll finally love and accept ourselves after losing w

Ask anyone who has diabetes what it’s like living with this disease, and you’ll probably hear a lot. … About the hundreds of decisions that have to be made on a daily basis to manage their condition. … About how scary it often is knowing that blood sugar dysregulation can be life-threatening. … About how depressing it can be knowing this is a lifelong condition. … And about how exhausting it is to do all of this, WHILE managing the other demands of life.   Diabetes management is a big deal, and living with it isn’t easy.  Affecting an estimated 422 million people globally, diabetes is one of the most common chronic modern illnesses we currently face.  And while there’s increasing awareness of how to manage diabetes, there’s not enough focus on the emotional impact that diabetes has on those affected by it. The truth is, we simply don’t hear enough about the emotional havoc our illnesses can play on us.  In this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast, we take a special look at the very real issue of emoti

In this episode, we explore some of the gifts and hidden messages our health challenges are here to teach us. For 56-year old Lynn, there’s been a lot of adjustment to her previously active lifestyle since sustaining a knee injury. Previously, Lynn was very active and has always enjoyed helping others. But since her injury, she’s been in such pain that she isn’t moving her body like she did before – leading to weight gain and digestive issues. And yet, Lynn’s spirits haven’t been dimmed. Instead, she’s feeling hopeful and inspired about what’s next.  As she explores with Marc David, Lynn has found her health challenges have taught her a lot. She’s learned that perfectionism is no longer her highest value, and that setting boundaries with herself and accepting “what is” have been key to her emotional and physical well-being.  So in this special episode, we celebrate one woman’s journey in discovering how our health challenges don’t have to be our downfalls – they can be our allies, spurring tremendous personal

In this week’s episode, Marc works with 52-year old Hulya on the important topic of how we learn to manage stress and regulate our emotions, so that we can experience the most optimal conditions for health. And Marc takes a special look at anxiety, constipation, and midsection weight gain, including some of the hidden wisdom these conditions have for us.  As researchers have discovered, there’s a profound connection between gut and brain health. So much so that “the gut-brain axis” is now established as one of the most important and complex systems in the body.  The gut is often referred to as a “second brain” due it’s separate but interconnected system of over 100 million neurons. This complex system, the enteric nervous system, is responsible for all the major digestive functions including enzyme production, nutrient absorption, and elimination. What’s fascinating is that research is now revealing the intricate relationship between our gut, and our thoughts, mood, and emotions.  When we feel happy, our body

Let’s be honest: trying to figure out what’s best to eat for our unique body – and stick to it – can be really hard. So can trying to lose weight. If we’re not careful, our whole life can become dominated by food, what to eat – and what not to eat, trying to be “good,” and constant thoughts about our diet.  Diet anxiety can happen to all of us, and it often drives us to what Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, refers to as “all or nothing eating.”  One of the hallmarks of this behavior is we’re either eating 100% clean and healthy food, or we’ve ditched our diet and binge on sweets, carbohydrates, or fatty foods. There’s no in between. This “all or nothing” approach keeps us trapped in a cycle that simply doesn’t work.  We may successfully lose weight for a time, but our healthy habits reach a point where they’re no longer sustainable. Our diet starts slipping, and our weight will often go up. Self-attack, shame, and guilt quickly follow.  If you’re prone to all or nothing eatin

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you know it’s not so easy. In fact, it can be incredibly challenging (just look at all the billions of dollars we collectively spend on weight loss every year).  So that begs the question: why is losing weight so hard? While challenges with weight loss are multifactorial, today we look at one of the hidden psychological obstacles that often gets in the way. And that’s feeling like the things we must do to lose weight are a form of self-punishment.  It can seem like we’re being forced to do things that we don’t enjoy, and eat foods we don’t love, and the real kicker? We must do them F.O.R.E.V.E.R.  Healthy decisions like: Eating vegetables at every meal Minimizing processed foods and sugary snacks Fitting in time at the gym most days Prioritizing meditation or yoga over Netflix or surfing the web… … can have us feeling like there’s no longer any pleasure or enjoyment in life. Friends, as long as weight loss feels like self-punishment, we’re always going to be in a battle

Do you love going against the rules? If so, you might have a strong “inner rebel” – an archetype that lives inside us, and can unwittingly make us go against our own best interests, especially when it comes to our health. As Marc David explores in this episode, our inner rebel is often behind the scenes unconsciously making choices for us about things like diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, and so much more.  Thirty eight-year old Daniela from Mexico wants to improve her health but frequently gets tempted by frappuccinos, sodas, and junk food. Daniela, a psychologist, knows that making changes to diet and exercise are important to her weight and health goals, but she just can’t seem to stick with it. As the session unfolds, it becomes clear that Daniela has two competing voices inside her duking it out for control: the part of her who wants to make healthier choices, and the part of her that doesn’t want to feel restricted and controlled. This latter voice is her inner rebel, causing quite a lot of difficulty, co

When it comes to emotional eating, so many of us focus on the habit itself -- the mindless munching on potato chips or the quick relief from a piece of chocolate -- without considering the emotions that drive the behavior in the first place. In this episode, we explore the true root cause of emotional eating (our emotions) -- and the role of the criminal mind in driving us to engage in this unwanted eating challenge.  The criminal mind is that part of us that does something in secret out of fear of disapproval or wanting to get away with something we know we shouldn’t be doing. It’s a natural part of the human psyche that’s typically born at a very young age. As children, when we’re told we can’t have something we really want, we find ourselves in conflict. We want to be a “good” girl or boy, so we don’t lose our parents’ love for doing something “bad.” But we also still crave the thing -- often food -- that we’re told we can’t have. This can lead kids to break their parents’ rules and do it anyway -- which i

In this episode, we explore stress eating – a type of emotional eating – from the perspective of eating psychology. But first, for those unfamiliar with the term ‘eating psychology,’ a quick definition: eating psychology is the study of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about food and body. It’s a positive and transformational approach that views our eating challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow. Stress eating has a huge psychological component to it. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our daily stresses can be a HUGE driver behind emotional eating.  But the key is understanding that it’s not really our circumstances that drive us to emotional eating. It’s the negative and anxious thoughts we have about those circumstances that often cause us to turn to food.  Reaching for junk foods – frequently carbohydrate-rich foods like chips, cookies, and candies – is a quick and effective way to quickly relieve stress. The only problem is that the “feel good” feeling doesn’t last, and we can gain weight or

In the weight loss world, the concept of a weight “set point” is pretty common. Meaning, our bodies seem to have an intrinsic natural weight that can be different for each of us. For many of us, that natural “set point” isn’t what we think it should be. We want a lower set point weight than we have, so we’ll often fight the body and make Herculean efforts to lose weight. And while you’ll find lots of resources out there on how to change your set point, in this episode we explore weight set point from the perspective of eating psychology.  One of the key teachings of eating psychology is that our challenges with food and body are a great teacher. They’re not here to torment us or drive us crazy, they’re here to show us where our deepest personal growth lies.  So in this episode of “In Session,” you’ll hear Marc work with 62-year old Joanne, who has lost and gained about 15 pounds over the last 30 years. She has a clear idea of what her weight set point “should” be, it’s just that her body doesn’t seem to agree

In this episode, we meet 53-year old Lydia, who has been dieting for 40 years. As an adolescent, Lydia developed anxiety about how her body was developing, as is often common for girls and boys at that age. Aerobics was becoming hugely popular at that time in the 1980s, diet culture was booming, and Lydia embraced it all with the hopes that she could shapeshift into the lean, long-legged body type she hoped for. Fast forward all these years later, Lydia is fed up with dieting. But she doesn’t know a life without it. She can’t imagine who she would be, or what her relationship with food would feel like.  All Lydia knows are the “boom and bust” cycles of dieting that define her life. When she loses weight, she feels confident in her clothes, but there’s also a constant fear lurking in the back of her mind that she’s going to regain the weight. And when she does gain it back, Lydia feels like a total failure.  As Lydia shares with Marc, she believes she’d be happy if she could only learn to eat and live like a t

Ahvanya, 27, from Goa, India, has one wish when it comes to food and body: to never engage in negative self-talk again. Meaning, she would always trust herself with food, and she would never again judge her appearance. She would simply feel good about herself and feel confident all the time.  But is it realistic to think we can somehow stop the negative internal chatter, all those voices that tell us we should be different or better?  And if we could, would this finally allow us to be in perpetual bliss and balance when it comes to issues around emotional eating, body confidence, and weight?  As Marc explores with Ahvanya, it’s natural to see our negative self-talk as a problem. We can feel powerless and paralyzed by the difficult emotions they cause us to feel. But when we try to deny our thoughts, we’re ironically swapping out one type of perfectionism (“my diet and body must be perfect”) for another (“my thoughts are unacceptable and I’m unwilling to allow them”). And this sets us up for feeling like a fai

Good health is the foundation for every other wonderful thing we could want in life: relationships, career, wealth, happiness, and so much more.  But striving for good health, like anything else, can be taken to its extreme.  One of the manifestations of this is orthorexia, a type of eating challenge hyper-focused on making only the very healthiest of food choices. On paper that can seem like a good thing, but orthorexia has a real dark side.  People suffering from orthorexia eventually find themselves severely bound by the strict food rules they’ve created for themselves about what, when, and how much to eat. And this can feel a lot like prison, except it’s a food prison existing only in one’s mind.  In this episode, you’ll meet 29-year old Rachel, who is overcoming orthorexia – but still has a lot of questions about how to quiet the voices in her mind that drive her to follow certain food rules, or feel really guilty when she fails to meet them. Rachel is exhausted from feeling so bound up by all the rules

In this episode, Marc David coaches single mom, Eva, on her challenges with emotional eating. The eldest of 8 siblings, Eva has felt alone since childhood. Her mother was a hard-working single mom herself who was hardly ever at home, so Eva often stepped in to help raise her seven younger brothers. To ease her overwhelm and loneliness, she began comforting herself with food, especially with breads and sweets – a habit she’s continued into adulthood.  Now many years later, Eva still feels many of the same emotions she did as a kid. Whether it’s raising her autistic kids, dealing with the stress of single motherhood, or simply getting thrown off track by everyday challenges, life can just feel like too much, too often. When she’s having a bad day, Eva reverts to her familiar pattern of binging on her favorite foods … a habit that is especially concerning given her bariatric surgery back in 2015. As Marc explores, we all have many different voices living inside of us at once – some of which are often in conflict