Clarity On Fire

In case you hadn’t heard, every-other-Tuesday we’re publishing “Magic 8-Ball” episodes! AKA, we shake up the nearly-200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. Today’s episode is a blog from March 2018 that’s especially for all of you to default to saying “yes” to everything, and then feel overwhelmed, resentful, and burnt out… As an introvert who’s also a recovering people pleaser, it still gives me a small thrill of rebelliousness to say no to things. That’s probably because in years past, I used to be a total yes girl. Before I’d fully accepted my more introverted nature (meaning I need a LOT of downtime and spaciousness, and I quickly get overwhelmed with too many plans), I was always overcommitting myself. And before I’d gotten my people-pleasing ways (mostly) in check, my fear of disappointing people was intense. So without thinking, I’d automatically say yes to work projects, social invitations, favors, and reques

This one goes out to all of you who feel like making a choice, any choice, is hard. Who are these mysterious people who just … decide things? Without any angst, or second-guessing, or spinning out, or FOMO, or shiny object syndrome?? Rachel Lowe can’t relate! Which is why she’s this month’s brand-new interview with a normal person. On this episode, Rachel E. And Rachel L. are getting into what it’s like to be someone who’s tried VERY hard to be decisive, but who just can’t be tamed. We talked about… The shame and brokenness that comes up when you’re someone who can’t make up your mind (“Why is it so hard for me, and so easy for other people??”) Being easily distractible, and grappling with FOMO. How Rachel is learning to embrace her Side Hustler nature, and the mental shifts that helped her get there. Why Side Hustlers may be better positioned for success in these weird times we’re currently living in than anyone! After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know how Rachel’s advice for indecisive pe

Two weeks ago, Rachel whipped out one of her woo-woo oracle decks and pulled a few cards for all of us. We got so many comments and messages saying how much you all liked it that we’ve decided to make it an every-other-Tuesday thing, at least while we’re all stuck in quarantine! In times like these, it can be especially hard to tune in to your intuition and receive guidance. Fear and uncertainty create a LOT of noise, both internally and externally! And, ironically, it’s exactly when we’re most afraid and unsure that we most need to be able to receive wisdom and inspiration. So, if you’re having a hard time getting calm, quieting your mind, and tuning in (understandable, if so!), we’re doing what witches do best and conjuring a message from the Universe for you today. We pulled 3 cards from one of our oracle card decks, and one of them has a message about something you need help with or answers about! Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! After you listen, come leave a comment

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. Panic, depression, and fear turned out to be the theme of this month’s episode, which is appropriate given what we’re all weathering right now. We hope it’s exactly what you need to hear to address your own concerns about life, and the future. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Multi-Trick Pony, who feels so trapped in their current job that they’re having panic attacks in their SLEEP. They’ve sent hundreds of applications for other jobs, but no one will give them a chance to move into a different field. How can they change that? Steven, who struggles with moderate-to-severe depression and is having a hard time coping at a new job. He’s not showing up as an ideal employee right now, and definitely doesn’t want to get fired, but (given past history) is also afra

In case you hadn’t heard, every-other-Tuesday we’re publishing “Magic 8-Ball” episodes! AKA, we shake up the nearly-200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. Today’s episode is a blog from April, 2018 about our collective hang-up around what “creativity” means. Considering that a lot of us all of a sudden have a lot more time to be creative, it’s imperative that we give ourselves permission to actually do that. I’ve spent nearly three decades being mildly annoyed that real life gets in the way of fantasy. To me, fiction and art and music often feel more REAL and TRUE than the monotony of everyday life, with its bills and laundry and mountains of responsibilities. Could you make a case that maybe this is a PROBLEM? That I’m trying to escape reality and live in a perpetual state of denial? You probably could. But hey, I’m still paying my bills, and my laundry gets done, and I’m not shirking my responsibilities. So, cut m

We all know that person. The one who’s read all the books, taken all the personality tests, and been to therapy for years but somehow is exactly the same as when they started? They could talk to you all day long about their issues—they know exactly why they are the way they are—but haven’t actually changed. None of us want to be that person. But going from intellectually understanding stuff to integrating that information and actually thinking, feeling, and behaving differently? That’s not an easy. People who “know things” are a dime a dozen. People who have integrated what they know are rare. And bridging that gap usually takes help. So, in this brand-new episode of the podcast we’re delving into how we, as coaches, use information that all of us love (personality tests) to actually help our clients change their feelings, beliefs, and behavior. We talked about… Our three favorite personality tests, ranked in order of usefulness. Which tests are most helpful according to your situation (not all tests make se

In times like these it can be especially hard to tune in to your intuition and receive guidance. Fear and uncertainty create a LOT of noise, both internally and externally! And, ironically, it’s exactly when we’re most afraid and unsure when we most need to be able to receive wisdom and inspiration. So, if you’re having a hard time getting calm, quiet, and tuning in (understandable, if so!), we thought we’d help you out by doing what witches do best, and conjuring a message from the Universe for you today. In this episode Rachel whipped out one of her woo-woo oracle decks and pulled a few cards for all of us. One of the 3 has a message about something you need help with or answers about! Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! After you listen, come leave a comment to share which card you got and how the message landed with you! 1-ON-1 COACHING IS OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT! We debated whether or not to continue as planned with opening enrollment for 1:1 coaching this week, which we do

We’ve had a few clients come to us recently with career conundrums they just could not figure out. They’d looked at it from every angle and were only getting more confused about what they should do. And yet, like magic, when we asked them to stop thinking of their job (either the one they have, or the one they want) like a job, and start thinking of it like a person they were dating, all of a sudden the answers appeared. Job searching and dating are almost exactly the same thing. And the sooner you adopt this mentality, the better off you’ll be (whether you’re “on the market” romantically or professionally speaking!). In this month’s brand-new Side Chat we’re getting into… Why desperation drives both lovers and employers away. How codependence shows up on the job search and on the dating scene. Why trying to be impressive on first dates and interviews is never going to work for you, and how to show up, instead. Setting the ground rules for how you expect to be treated in your career and in your romantic rela

In case you hadn’t heard, every-other-Tuesday we’re publishing “Magic 8-Ball” episodes! AKA, we shake up the nearly-200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. Today’s episode is a Side Chat from last summer about how to hone your intuition (and tell the difference between that, and fear). Pretty relevant right now, don’t you think? So, imagine a dude pumping iron, except he only ever works out one arm. He’s basically a circus attraction with his one giant bicep on the right and a puny, atrophied bicep on the left. Well, this freak is all of us. Except the over-developed right arm is your logic/fear muscle, and the atrophied left arm is your feelings/intuition muscle. Most of us want to start working out that sad, deflated left arm, because we really want to let go, trust our intuition, and make decisions from a place of deeper knowing, but we have no idea how to do it. In this episode we got into: All of the ways you c

We all have our laundry lists of insecurities, self-doubts, and things we don’t particularly like about ourselves. But when those self-judgments turn into full-on self-hate, that can open the floodgates for all kinds of numbing, self-sabotaging behaviors. For Adam Miller, that manifested as drug addiction. Throughout his process of recovery, he learned that the best cure for self-sabotaging, addictive behaviors is learning how to like — and eventually love — himself again. Adam will be the first to tell you that cultivating self-love takes time, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to healing from years (or a lifetime!) of self-hate. But it’s a journey that just keeps feeling better and better, and life on the other side … well, you can hear Adam describe in his own words exactly how that feels! In this month’s interview with a normal person, Kristen and Adam talk about how to recover from self-hate and all its insidious side effects. They got into… A few of the many self-sabotaging side effects you mig

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Miranda, who took the Passion Profile Quiz and can’t tell if she’s a “real” Thriver, or whether she’s only getting that result because she’s burnt out and resentful of working. Could she have a different Profile if she recovered from burnout? Jules, who wants to get better at feeling her feelings, but doesn’t want to indulge so much that she spirals out of control. How do you walk the line between having feelings and letting them run amuck? Eric, a single guy in his 20s who’s ready to start dating again. He wants to know how he can stand out on a dating app, beyond just “being himself.” After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you! Want to submit a questi

Every-other-Tuesday we’re going to be publishing “Magic 8-Ball” episodes. AKA, we shake up the nearly-200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. For our inaugural Magic 8-Ball episode we’re re-releasing something from the very first day we launched this podcast! The original title was “How to work like a woman (in a world that doesn’t want you to).” It explores the push-pull between masculine and feminine energy, which is something you’re almost definitely struggling with, even if you haven’t been conscious of it. On this episode we talked about: Why “equality” doesn’t mean having to become masculine in order to succeed in your career. What “masculine” and “feminine” actually mean (we guarantee you’ve got some misconceptions on this one). Why you might be struggling with burn-out, fatigue, and overwhelm. How to go after freedom and flexibility, even if you feel trapped in a rigid environment. How to embrace your intuit

A few weeks ago, we hosted a live online workshop about getting what you want in 2020. In typical fashion, the two of us were bouncing ideas and insights and jokes back and forth, and had a great time (and hopefully enlightened a couple people, too). But something that one of our attendees commented on stayed with us long after the hour was over. She said: “I have never had a female interaction like you two have. It’s wonderful to see, totally alien to me! :( That bond is so powerful and affirming. Thank you for being who you are, and doing that side by side.” She was 100% right. Having really solid friendships is powerful and life-affirming! And if we could, we’d wave a magic wand over all of you and grant you at least one soulmate-level-platonic-life-partner. But since we can’t manage that, we decided to whip out the big guns (or big wands, as it were): We’re doubling down by bringing another dynamic duo on the podcast to talk about all things friendship: Our friends Shannon Egan & Inés Battistini, who

We’ve been obsessed with the Enneagram ever since we discovered it last year, and we’re pretty sure we passed that obsession on to many of you! One of Rachel’s clients recently said that discovering her Enneagram type felt like “a punch to the soul.” And damn, that’s exactly how it feels when you pinpoint your type—like you’ve been truly seen, but in the most vulnerable, cold-sweat inducing way! And for those of you who haven’t taken the Enneagram yet, and are wondering why in the world you’d ever inflict a “cold-sweat-soul-punch” on yourself … fair. We’d argue it’s because until you know your deepest (and often most unattractive) default programming, you can’t break free or grow beyond it. And that’s something worth doing. So, in the spirit of growth, we’re revisiting the Enneagram in this month’s brand-new Side Chat, after stumbling upon a theory about the Enneagram that makes SO much sense (and made Kristen cry a little). We’re getting into… What Enneagram Soul Child Theory is, and why it made the Enneagr

Remember in Harry Potter when Fawkes the phoenix would near the end of his life cycle? He’d get all wheezy and bleary-eyed, and generally look the worse for wear, and Dumbledore would encourage him to “get on with it.” Then, of course, he’d burst into flame and emerge again from the ashes, a tiny and somewhat ugly little chick who would soon grow into his former glory. Well, as we near our 200th episode of the podcast, we’re feeling a bit more like “old and wheezy” than “youthful and resplendent” Fawkes. So, it’s time to burn some stuff down and start anew! In the spirit of death and rebirth, we’re taking something away and giving you something new. KRACHEL TAKETH AWAY We’re cutting back from 8 podcast episodes per month to 6! Instead of blogging every Tuesday, we’re going to be publishing episodes every-other-Tuesday. Sometimes they might be blogs, or Rachel Rants, or special bonus episodes. But mostly, we’re going to use our two Tuesdays a month to give you “Magic 8-Ball” episodes: Where we pick any of our

When I first met Amanda, she was lugging around shame like it was an anvil strapped to her back. In her mind, she didn’t deserve to feel light or free because she’d left her marriage of almost 20 years in a way that she felt very guilty about. But as long as she was carrying guilt and shame like a penance, she wasn’t able to pick anything else up. It’s hard to move on with your life, or get clear about who you are on a deeper level, if you’re not allowed to forgive yourself. So, that’s what she had to learn how to do. And that’s what Amanda and I got in to during this month’s new interview with a normal person! We talked about … Why she was ashamed about how she left her marriage, and why she felt unable to let that shame go for a long time. The difference between letting yourself off the hook for bad behavior (something you probably shouldn’t be doing) and genuinely forgiving yourself (something you definitely should do). How forgiving herself allowed her to heal the issues that caused her marriage to disso

“I think I’m bad at joy,” said my client Laura at the start of our last coaching call. She went on to tell me about a mini road trip she and her boyfriend took over the weekend. There was a moment in the car when everything felt right in the world — the sun was shining, the windows were down, her favorite music was blasting, and her boyfriend smiled over at her and put his arm around the back of her seat. “I literally thought my heart was going to burst, I was so blissed out in that moment,” she said. But it didn’t last long. Almost immediately, Laura’s mind started to freak out: “I really shouldn’t have taken this trip. My boss is already annoyed that I took a whole week off earlier this month, and now I’m taking another long weekend?? Ugh, going back to work on Tuesday is going to be fun… And I probably should’ve put the money I spent on this trip toward my student loans. I’m going to be paying those off forever. Maybe I should get a second job. Or a higher paying job. But what kind of job? Do I need a seco

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Jade, a college sophomore who feels like she’s doing her college experience “wrong” by not being able to pick a major. Since she can’t decide, does it matter if she just picks something that has a lot of potential to make her good money after she graduates? Nurse Grumpy, who’s so fed up with being a nurse that she feels like she’s lost all patience and compassion for the people she’s supposed to be helping. She’s tried therapy, job hopping, and taking time off, but nothing has cured her resentment. How can she find fulfillment again when, in all honesty, she’s tired of pretending like she cares? Ms. Pissed Off, a 30-year-old with a partner of 4 years who is SO OVER people asking her when she’s going to get married. Why do peop

Have you ever met someone who’s always known what they wanted to do? They were 5 years old and sure they’d be a writer or a nurse or an engineer, went and did exactly that, and are still doing it to this day? You probably have. And while those people didn’t set out to make the rest of us feel bad … it sort of happens inadvertently, doesn’t it? Liz Gilbert (the author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic) calls these people “jackhammers.” As in, they drill down with mega-focus on one thing that they’re really passionate about and they hammer away at it forever. She’s a self-admitted jackhammer, herself, when it comes to being a writer. She gave a talk a few years ago (definitely worth a listen) about how she mistakenly assumed that everyone was like this. Not only did she realize that she was dead wrong, but she had no idea how badly non-jackhammers often feel about themselves. There are a whole lot of us who think there must be something wrong if we don’t have an all-consuming passion that we’re mega-focused on f

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it’s time for another book club episode of the podcast! Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can’t get enough of. In this episode, we’re diving into the #1 New York Times bestseller E-Squared by Pam Grout. We’ve recommended this book to so many people over the years because it bridges the gap between science and spirituality in a fun, easy-to-do way. If you really want to believe in something—call it the Universe, infinite intelligence, whatever!—but are skeptical, or just can’t find enough proof to allow you to relax, you’re going to dig this episode. We talked about … Why religion and believing in a higher power are totally separate things. How your thoughts create your reality, 100% of the time. 3 experiments you can do to prove that an infinitely intelligent force exists, and that you have the power to influence it. Lots of stories from us, and our clients, that prove these