Clarity On Fire



Clarity on Fire is a podcast for people who know what they DONT want out of their life and career, but arent sure what theyd RATHER be doing. We're Kristen and Rachel, two best friends from college and certified life coaches who are here to help you cut through the information overload, get unstuck, and focus not JUST on how you can have a career youre passionate about, but how to create a whole LIFE that feels fulfilling. In a world where its easy to exist but hard to feel alive, we want you to experience the relief of knowing that YES, youre allowed to want more out of your life and career. And NO, you dont have to wander through the dark anymore. Our job is to light the fire that shows you the way.


  • Breaking your phone addiction with Kristen Kalp

    25/05/2018 Duración: 59min

    The first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem. And to be frank – We’ve got a problem. And we’re pretty sure you do, too. Did you know that one of the metrics that measures phone addiction is if you can go 5 or more hours without touching it? Can you even REMEMBER the last time you did that!? ‘Cuz we can’t. GULP. Did you know that the average person thinks they’re LESS addicted than everyone around them, even though the average person is actually touching their phone over 2,000 times a day? Yes, you read that right. TWO THOUSAND. So, to help break us of our phone addictions we sat down with Kristen Kalp, a poet, writer, coach, empath, introvert, and most importantly, person-who-has-somehow-managed-to-only-be-on-her-phone-for-an-hour-per-day. On this episode of the Clarity on Fire podcast we talk about: The uncomfortable facts and figures that prove that you, like pretty much everyone else you know (except maybe like, your 85-year-old grandparents) is addicted to your phone Why we compulsively rea

  • Blog: Why I highly recommend selective amnesia

    22/05/2018 Duración: 14min

    I used to be a big fan of soap operas growing up. No kidding, when I was 4 years old, I knew all of the characters and plot lines of Days of Our Lives. To this day, even though I haven’t watched it in years, I could still tell you all about Hope and Bo and John and Marlena and the villainous Stefano. I loved how ridiculous they were … people “died” on a regular basis, and just as quickly came back to life. Shocking pregnancies were par for the course. Dramatic cases of amnesia happened every other day. And no one ever worked! They just looked fabulous and had intense conversations over lunch. And while I definitely wouldn’t recommend modeling your life after most of those plot lines, there’s something about the regular bouts of amnesia that’s worth considering. In this week’s blog I’m talking about why our memories are sometimes the ONLY thing that keep us stuck, and why administering yourself a bout of selective amnesia might be the most productive thing you could ever do. I originally wrote this blog nearly

  • Side Chat: Curing your people-pleasing disease

    18/05/2018 Duración: 59min

    As Samuel L. Jackson said in Jurassic Park: “Hold on to your butts.”  He was talking about dinosaurs, but honestly, we’re talking about something that a lot of people find equally as terrifying: How to let go of your compulsion to please everyone around you. In preparation for this episode we both read The Disease to Please by Harriet Braiker, PhD., and OH MAN, there is a lot to get into.  If you’re someone who feels impaired by the compulsion to put others’ needs first, to never say “no,” to strive endlessly for everyone’s approval, and to try to make everyone else happy, all while being as NICE as possible and avoiding conflict like it’s your job … strap yourself in and get ready to have your world rocked (in a GOOD WAY). On this episode we talk about: How to recognize ALL the signs of people-pleasing, even the ones you aren’t aware of Why people-pleasing is an addiction, and how you got the “disease” in the first place Why you struggle with saying “no,” being rejected, and feeling guilty 24/7 Why you’re s

  • Blog: The giving-burnout-resentment cycle in relationships

    15/05/2018 Duración: 12min

    If there’s one line I’ve heard from just about every client I’ve coached over the years, it’s this: “I really just want to help people.” Look, I get it. It’s human nature (well, the good side of human nature, at least!) to want to help and support and lift up other people. Life would be pretty unfulfilling if you never felt like you were making a positive difference for other people. Plus, it just feels good to help others. Who doesn’t enjoy the warm, satisfied feeling they get after doing something nice for someone? But being a nice, helpful, giving person can very quickly go too far. And it’s not pretty when it does. Over-giving is a fast road to burnout. And not feeling appreciated for all the things you do for others, or not receiving the same kind of support that you’re always giving, leads straight to resentment. In this week’s blog I (Kristen) am sharing how to balance your desire to help others with the tendency to over-give, so you can break the giving-burnout-resentment cycle once and for all. CHECK

  • Ghosting your job with Lana Jackson

    11/05/2018 Duración: 01h02min

    Ever felt like you’re a ghost wandering the halls of your workplace? Sure, you’re physically there, but the REAL YOU is nowhere to be found. You’re mentally checked out, emotionally drained, and showing up as a watered-down, hollow version of yourself. In this month’s interview with a normal person, Kristen is chatting with Lana Jackson, who was all too familiar with that feeling. After years of feeling like a ghost of her real self, trapped by a boring, soul-sucking job, she decided it was time to get clear on what she *really* wanted out of her life and career. Now she’s a budding entrepreneur and personal stylist helping women express themselves from the inside out. She shares the whole journey with us, in this interview. On this episode we talk about: The heartache of feeling lost, directionless, and inauthentic The 3 questions Lana asked herself to figure out exactly what she wanted to do career-wise Lana’s advice for staying sane while balancing a full-time job and a side hustle Why making time for sil

  • Blog: You’re not broken or alone (you’re just ahead of your time)

    08/05/2018 Duración: 15min

    OK, so you know that part in Back to the Future when Marty McFly gets on stage during the Enchantment Under the Sea dance? He straps on a guitar and starts playing so that his teenaged parents will dance, kiss, fall in love, and ensure that he eventually gets born. Well, one of my favorite moments of that scene is when he loses himself for a few minutes in a crazy electric guitar riff of Chuck Berry’s Johnny B. Goode. All the 1950s teens stop dancing and just stare at him, mouths slightly agape, before he comes to his senses and realizes they have never heard anyone play a guitar like that. Marty awkwardly gets up and mumbles, “I guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.” The joke lands because we, the audience, know how popular rock n’ roll will become. But to a 1950s teenager, Marty just looks sort of insane.  I love this vignette because it’s EXACTLY what happens to anybody who lives in a world that, in some way or another, isn’t ready for them—they’re misunderstood, labele

  • Dear Krachel: Should I follow my passion or is it too risky?

    04/05/2018 Duración: 39min

    Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we’re answering questions from:  Ashley, who’s realized that her childhood “dream” career isn’t for her, and wants to know if doing something unpaid (while continuing to work at a job she hates) will get her the experience she needs to change her direction for good. Frank, who wants to quit his job to pursue his passion in voiceover work, but has a family to support and isn’t sure if the risk is worth it. Sarah, who’s wondering how to be kind to herself after realizing she spent way too much of her life pretending to be someone she wasn’t (and ending up with a life that didn’t reflect who she really was). Jo, who’s curious about how to navigate her relationship with her spouse given that they have different Passion Profiles.   Want to submit a question for ou

  • Blog: How much joy are you letting go to waste?

    01/05/2018 Duración: 12min

    I was taking a walk the other day, mentally replaying a couple of coaching calls I’d had that morning and thinking through everything I had to do the rest of the day. I turned the corner, and suddenly right in front of me was the most beautiful cherry blossom tree in perfect bloom. It was stunning. I reflexively stopped to admire it, and my mind went completely blank for a moment. It was just me and the tree and nothing else. I felt warm, content, and totally at peace. After a few moments, I snapped out of my trance and continued on my walk, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that tree. It felt like a little spark of beauty and joy in the midst of the hustle and bustle of my day. I started to wonder how many of those little moments of joy I was missing on a daily basis. I’d been so up in my head that I’d almost missed that moment of pure contentment that I’d felt admiring the cherry blossoms.  How many other moments just like that was I blind to every single day? How many opportunities for beauty and joy and

  • Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt

    27/04/2018 Duración: 01h01min

    People, let’s get real. We are BACKED UP, emotionally speaking. We live in a culture that, by and large, is not super comfortable with feelings and self-expression. A lot of us have gotten REALLY good at numbing out, suppressing, and generally doing whatever we can to avoid having to feel anything difficult or uncomfortable. Except you can’t bottle it up forever. Eventually, something’s gotta give. And whether or not we realize it, a lot of us are paying a high price for all that suppressed emotion. To help us literally start flowing again, we brought on our fellow coach Joanna Platt, who is The Queen of Feeling All the Things. On this episode we talk about: How parents inadvertently make kids uncomfortable with emotions from a VERY early age Why people are so pathologically uncomfortable with feelings Signs and symptoms that indicate how emotionally constipated you are The case for why you need to feel your feelings (Hint: You can’t feel the good stuff if you aren’t willing to feel the gnarly stuff, too) Jo

  • Blog: Why watching Netflix is my secret life purpose

    24/04/2018 Duración: 14min

    Sometimes I feel like I’ve lived most of my life with only one foot in this realm. The other foot has been exploring Hogwarts, or on a stroll with Lizzie at Longbourn, or running away from white walkers (and TOWARD Jon Snow, if you know what I mean). I’ve spent nearly three decades being mildly annoyed that real life gets in the way of fantasy. To me, fiction and art and music often feel more REAL and TRUE than the monotony of everyday life, with its bills and laundry and mountains of responsibilities. Could you make a case that maybe this is a PROBLEM? That I’m trying to escape reality and live in a perpetual state of denial? You probably could. But hey, I’m still paying my bills, and my laundry gets done, and I’m not shirking my responsibilities. So cut me SOME slack. Thankfully, I’ve found a way to weave creativity into my daily life. I’m not just absorbing other people’s creativity—in the form of books, movies, TV, music, and art—I’ve also built a business that’s fueled by my own creative inspiration (in

  • Side Chat: We are not the crazy ones (how to tell if you’re a highly sensitive person)

    20/04/2018 Duración: 40min

    Do you ever feel a little bit crazy? Like you’re alone in a crowd of people who don’t FEEL things as deeply as you do? Maybe sometimes you find yourself wondering, “Am I broken? Why is life so much easier for these people?” If so, you’re likely a Highly Sensitive Person. Being highly sensitive is an awesome gift. It means you’re probably extra creative, intuitive, and capable of being deeply moved by the small things in life. But here’s the problem—we don’t live in a world that places a high value on those things. So what do we do when the world wants to tell us we’re broken? That the very traits that make us awesome are also what people believe need fixing? On this episode we talk about: How to tell if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (we run through a list of attributes and give you guidance on where to take a self-assessment) Why the most highly sensitive people are always the most genius artists and creatives, too Why HSPs are VERY likely to get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and other disorders How

  • Blog: Why I love jealousy (and you should, too)

    17/04/2018 Duración: 17min

    You know how it goes … you see someone’s incredible vacation photos on social media, while you watch the rain pour down outside your tiny office window (or, worse, as you stare at the windowless grey walls of your cube). Or you hear about an old friend who just got an amazing promotion at a company you’d kill to work at. Or your coworker gushes about how sweet her husband was for surprising her with concert tickets for their one-year anniversary, while you haven’t even been on a date in months. The envy starts to creep in, and you’re left feeling annoyed, resentful, deflated, or just plain sad. The worst part of jealousy is the self-judgment and shame that often comes along with it. Many of my clients, after embarrassedly sharing a situation where they felt envious, will say things like, “I have to plaster on a smile and fake excitement, even though I feel like the jealousy is strangling me. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy for that person??” I’m guilty of this, too — both feeling jealous and

  • You can't cure the human experience with Kyle Ramsvig

    10/04/2018 Duración: 58min

    When Kyle Ramsvig was a teenager she found out that nearly all of the girls in the senior class of her small, private high school were either in therapy or on anti-depressants—all of them had thought they were broken, but none of them were talking about it with each other because they were ashamed. In this inaugural interview with a “normal person,” Rachel talks to Kyle (one of her clients) about why we’re so afraid of our feelings and how to live a happy, fulfilled life in a world that often makes us feel wrong for being human. We talked about: Why millennials being told that they’re “special” may have backfired How almost everything you feel is normal, and why none of it makes you a freak How you can experience all that life has to offer—the high-highs, low-lows, and the vast amounts of mediocrity in between—and be happier than you’ve ever been Why so many of us pour ourselves into trying to find an identity through our careers, why that never works, and what actually DOES work instead How to be content wi

  • Dear Krachel: What if I don’t want a big, fancy career?

    10/04/2018 Duración: 35min

    Welcome to the inaugural episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we’re answering questions from: Jen, who wants to find a mentor in a field where women (and particularly women of color) are scarce. Matt, who’s taking the road less traveled and is wondering how to find life satisfaction outside of a career. Eryn, who’s questioning how important “career direction” really is, and why there’s so much pressure to be a “girl boss.” Saska, who’s been through a whirlwind year of loss and upheaval in her life, and want’s to know why we’re all so obsessed with “change for the sake of change.” Want to submit a question for our May episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q: FREE WORKSHOP ON 4/27/18 If you enjoy any of our current episodes and decide to subscribe, ra

  • How to find your tribe and grow a network with Carolyn Birsky

    10/04/2018 Duración: 01h02min

    Making friends in college was easy. How could you NOT, when you’re in a bubble with people your own age that you have so much in common with? But eventually that bubble bursts. We enter the “real world” and find that it’s HARD to make authentic, genuine connections as an adult. We live in a world that’s as connected as we’ve ever been, while simultaneously feeling as lonely and DISCONNECTED as we’ve ever felt. Neither of us are great at making friends (introvert problems), so for our inaugural interview with an expert we brought on one of our favorite extroverts and certified coaches, Carolyn Birsky, to help us get to the root of how to find your tribe—be they friends, colleagues, or ANYONE we want to build a meaningful, fulfilling relationship with. On this episode we talk about: Why letting your guard down and being vulnerable is the prerequisite to finding your tribe How to ask someone on a “friend date” How to stay connected with friends when you start to drift apart When to “break up” with a friend, and

  • Side Chat: How to work like a woman (in a world that doesn’t want you to)

    10/04/2018 Duración: 49min

    Women didn’t have the right to vote in America until 1920. We couldn’t apply for a credit card on our own, without the permission of a father or husband, until 1974. And in 2018, we’re STILL waiting for a guarantee of equal pay. We’ve come a long way, but there’s a lot further to go. When women entered the workforce en masse in the first half of the 20th century, the system had already been built in a way that suits people who are masculine—but not necessarily people who are wired in a feminine way. And having to fit into that system is taking a HUGE toll on us. It’s a quiet way that we’re still struggling for equality, and it’s about time we started talking about it. On this episode we talk about: Why “equality” doesn’t mean having to become masculine in order to succeed in your career What “masculine” and “feminine” actually mean (we guarantee you’ve got some misconceptions on this one) Why you might be struggling with burn-out, fatigue, and overwhelm How to go after freedom and flexibility, even if you fe

  • Blog: Are you tired of pretending to be someone you’re not?

    10/04/2018 Duración: 15min

    I believe that every person is actually two people: The person you really are (deep down, on the inside, where you think no one can see). And the person you think you should be in order to be liked, loved, and accepted. Glennon Doyle (who wrote one of my favorite books of 2016, and maybe my favorite memoir ever, “Love Warrior”) calls that second person “the representative.” Your representative is a version of you that’s sent into the world in your place. It’s a blander, less authentic person who stands in for you when it doesn’t feel safe to expose the REAL you. Your representative is the one who … Plasters on a fake smile, when you’d rather be anywhere else than the meeting you’re sitting in. Doesn’t speak up, even when you’ve got an opinion, for fear of being judged. Knows exactly what to say to keep being liked and praised. Keeps you jumping through hoops, constantly trying to prove your worth. Has a bunch of acquaintances, but very few real connections. Most of us have been sending out representatives f

  • Wizardry and sarcasm (Introducing Clarity on Fire)

    05/04/2018 Duración: 16min

    Welcome to Clarity on Fire, a podcast for people who know what they DON’T want out of their life and career, but aren’t sure what they’d RATHER be doing. In this inaugural episode you’ll meet us, Kristen and Rachel (two best friends from college and certified life coaches), and get a taste of what we’re here to do. Namely, help you cut through the information overload, get unstuck, and focus not JUST on how you can have a career you’re passionate about, but how to create a whole LIFE that feels fulfilling.  New episodes will drop twice a week. On Tuesdays you’ll get quick 7-10 minute audio editions of our weekly blog, and on Fridays you’ll get a rotating array of interviews with experts, fireside chats with the two of us, interviews with normal people (because the wisdom of 95% of humanity is way underrated), and a listener advice column called Dear Krachel (don’t you have a celebrity couple nickname with your BFF? No? Just us?). In a world where it’s easy to exist but hard to feel alive, we want you to exper

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