Clarity On Fire

We all know how good it feels to get rid of actual stuff — clothes that are out of style, clutter that’s taking up space in your closet, décor that belongs in another decade. We’d argue it feels just as good, if not better, to get rid of your metaphorical crap — the beliefs that weigh you down, the assumptions that you inherited from someone else, and the fears that are no longer relevant to the times we’re living in now. So, in that spirit, we’re back with another special episode of Burn This. Every once in a while, we’re going to go through some of our collective intangible garbage and give you, and all of us, permission to throw it in the burn pile! Today we’re burning the idea that emotions need to be labeled. We go into… How anger, sadness, frustration, even joy isn’t good or bad, ever. The unintended consequences that result when you unconsciously believe an emotion, especially a difficult one, is “bad.” The emotions you might be most uncomfortable with, and therefore most likely to label incorrectly,

One of my clients, Haley, had a doozy of a 2019. In April she found out she was unexpectedly pregnant with her second child. It felt like a joyful permission slip—she’d been feeling the urge to quit her corporate job since her first daughter was born two years before, but hadn’t been able to justify that decision. By early May she’d given her two weeks’ notice, and by Memorial Day she was a full-time stay-at-home mom. And then, in late June, Haley’s beloved Great-Aunt Mimi passed away … and left Haley her house. (If you need proof that things can change quickly, let Haley be your example!) Haley and her husband decided to keep the house, renovate it, and move in after the new baby was born. She told me, “Aunt Mimi had been on the decline for a while. The last time I saw her before she died, I got to tell her that I was pregnant. She was so happy for us. I sort of wonder if that gave her some peace and allowed her to let go. I think she would have loved us making her house our new home.” But as divine as the t

As much as we all think we want to be happy— “I’ll be happy when I get my dream job!” or “I’ll be happy when I have a relationship”—humans aren’t actually very good at happiness. As long as the happiness remains an idea in our mind, it’s safe to linger on. But when happiness because a reality, all of a sudden, we start to trip over ourselves. We wait for the other shoe to drop. We fret about losing the thing that’s made us happy. Can we never win?? Why do we do that to ourselves? You’d think if we’d finally managed to get somewhere good, we’d marinate in it for a while instead of immediately finding something else to have anxiety about. In this month’s brand-new side chat, we’re talking about the dread of good things; AKA, upper limit problems. We got into… How to identify if you’re having an upper limit problem, and the difference between that and a plain old problem. How to break through an upper limit problem. The story of what we’ve both been going through in the past year, and all of the upper limit pro

Ever felt like you’re a ghost wandering the halls of your workplace? Sure, you’re physically there, but the REAL YOU is nowhere to be found. You’re mentally checked out, emotionally drained, and showing up as a watered-down, hollow version of yourself. In this Magic 8-Ball episode, we’re bringing back someone who was all too familiar with that feeling: Lana Jackson, who was Kristen’s first-ever interview with a normal person back in May 2018. After years of feeling like a ghost of her real self, trapped by a boring, soul-sucking job, she decided it was time to get clear on what she *really* wanted out of her life and career. Now she’s a budding entrepreneur and personal stylist helping women express themselves from the inside out. She shares the whole journey with us, in this interview. On this episode we talk about: The heartache of feeling lost, directionless, and inauthentic The 3 questions Lana asked herself to figure out exactly what she wanted to do career-wise Lana’s advice for staying sane while bala

Nussi Einhorn hasn’t yet turned 27, but he’s achieved a lot in his relatively short life. He started out as a young husband and father (to three small boys!), without a traditional university education, working at a job that paid him $13 an hour. Through ingenuity, willpower, and a lot of confidence, he hustled his way into a cushy corporate job that paid him well and allowed him to comfortably support his young family. But Nussi is a Firestarter—he has a strong entrepreneurial spirit and was incredibly restless and unfulfilled working for anyone other than himself. He started to wonder if it was possible, after working so hard to climb the ladder, if he could jump off. In this month’s brand-new episode with a normal person, Rachel and Nussi talk about… How he’s consistently managed to create opportunities for himself, where none used to exist. The very real fear he had about leaving behind the security and stability he’d worked so hard to attain, and the risk that meant for his family. The inner programming

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. The theme this month ended up being “salty and cynical” (Rachel loved it). On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Another Rachel, who hijacks Rachel Rants for a bit to say that everyone who hasn’t hired her yet is a rude doofus, even though she’s got a TON of experience and deserves to be given a chance. Why do potential employers keep tossing her to the curb?? Elise, who has a theory that the more self-aware you are, the more you start to notice that people sort-of-kind-of … suck? How can she deal with the annoying unconscious masses at work and in the wider world? After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these two listeners resonated with you! Want to submit a question for our July episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form an

We’ve had a lot of fun these past few months, as we’ve all been stuck in quarantine, whipping out one of our woo-woo oracle decks and giving you all a message from the Universe. We hope that it’s helped you stay a little bit more grounded and trusting in a time of heightened anxiety! This will be out last regular Message from the Universe episode for a while, but don’t despair. We’ll still do them every once in a while, at random, maybe when you least expect it but most need it. To honor this last (for now) episode, we ordered a brand-spanking-new Tarot deck. Like usual, we pulled 3 cards and one of them (or maybe all of them) has a message for you today.  Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! After you listen, come leave a comment to share how the message landed with you. MORE ABOUT MADELEINE JOAN Today’s card descriptions were written by the fabulous Madeleine Joan! Madeleine is a Tarot card reader, intuitive, and astrologist with well over 20 years of experience. We recommen

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it’s time for another book club episode of the podcast! Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can’t get enough of. In this episode, we’re diving into the mega #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Glennon’s books are the opposite of your average self-help book written by a perky middle-aged woman with plenty of platitudes and not a lot of depth. Her work is deep and moving and it’ll light a fire under your butt. It’s required reading for all humans, if you ask us (but especially highly sensitives, people-pleasers, women, and anyone who wants to live their life without guilt or constriction). We talked about… Glennon working up the courage to leave her husband, break up her family, and rebuild a new family with Abby Wambach (the Olympic soccer player, who she’d only met in person once). How we’re encouraged and rewarded, from a very young age, to ignore our own in

It’s time for another “Magic 8-Ball” episode! AKA, where we shake up the nearly 200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. Have you ever heard something that felt so true that it resonated in your very bones? Even if you couldn’t explain why you knew it was true? You just knew. That’s how I felt when I read this passage from the end of Elizabeth Gilbert’s mega-bestselling book Eat, Pray, Love: “The Zen Buddhists say that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well—the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. I

We all know how good it feels to get rid of actual stuff—clothes that are out of style, clutter that’s taking up space in your closet, décor that belongs in another decade.   We’d argue it feels just as good, if not better, to get rid of your metaphorical crap—the beliefs that weigh you down, the assumptions that you inherited from someone else, and the fears that are no longer relevant to the times we’re living in now.   So, in that spirit, we’re back with another special episode of Burn This. Every once in a while, we’re going to go through some of our collective intangible garbage and give you, and all of us, permission to throw it in the burn pile!   Today we’re burning the idea that you should sacrifice your health for a job. We got into… How alarmingly normal it is for people we coach to say things like, “I’ve daydreamed about getting into a mini car crash so I don’t have to go to work,” or, “I’ve thought about how I could take leave for a while if I fell and broke my leg in the shower!” Why there’s NO

It’s that time again! Every-other-Tuesday, as long as we’re all stuck in quarantine, we’re whipping out one of our woo-woo oracle decks and pulling a few cards for all of us. In times like these, it can be especially hard to tune into your intuition and receive guidance. Fear and uncertainty create a LOT of noise, both internally and externally! And, ironically, it’s exactly when we’re most afraid and unsure that we most need to be able to receive wisdom and inspiration. So, if you’re having a hard time getting calm, quieting your mind, and tuning in (understandable, if so!), we’re doing what witches do best and conjuring a message from the Universe for you today. We pulled 3 cards from one of our oracle card decks, and one of them has a message about something you need help with or answers about! Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! After you listen, come leave a comment to share which card you got and how the message landed with you! CLARITY IN A TIME OF PANDEMIC: ENDS FRIDA

Introvert vs. extrovert. Type A vs. type B. Hard skills vs. soft skills. Labels can be helpful shortcuts for understanding ourselves better and giving other people a quick snapshot of how we operate. But more often than not, the debate around “are you this type of person or THAT type of person?” is wayyy too limiting. No one is 100% introverted (even Rachel, one of the most introvertiest introverts can only boast 80% on the spectrum). No one is JUST “type A” (whatever that means). And no one has ONLY soft skills. But we think of ourselves like that, don’t we? We assume because we’re a “soft skills person” that what we have is less valuable, and that people will treat us, hire us, and pay us accordingly. There is a WHOLE lot wrong with the “hard skills vs. soft skills” debate, and in this month’s brand-new side chat we’re setting the record straight. We got into: The traditional definition of hard and soft skills (and why we don’t fully agree!) Why people tend to pay more attention to hard skills and (seeming

It’s time for another “Magic 8-Ball” episode! AKA, where we shake up the nearly 200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today.   Today’s episode is one of the first side chats we ever did on the podcast way back in April 2018, and it’s all about how to tell if you’re a highly sensitive person. It’s one of my (Kristen’s) top-3 favorite episodes we’ve ever done, and it’s one that I keep referring my clients back to over and over. Here’s the original intro to this episode:   Do you ever feel a little bit crazy? Like you’re alone in a crowd of people who don’t FEEL things as deeply as you do? Maybe sometimes you find yourself wondering, “Am I broken? Why is life so much easier for these people?” If so, you’re likely a Highly Sensitive Person.   Being highly sensitive is an awesome gift. It means you’re probably extra creative, intuitive, and capable of being deeply moved by the small things in life. But here’s the problem: We d

We’ve all been living in this strange new world for a few months now, complete with stay-at-home orders, face masks, and social distancing. And many of us are settling into whatever version of normal we can find. And yet, there’s this lingering uncertainty that we’re all facing, both personally and globally. When will this pandemic end? Will I be able to keep my job? Will anyone I love get sick? What about my plans for later in the year? How long until I can travel to see my friends and family again? Will life ever go back to the way it was? R.A.Williams was already in the exciting but unsteady early stages of starting a new business when the pandemic hit and piled another heaping serving of uncertainty onto her plate. But instead of feeling crippled by overwhelm, she’s remained optimistic, learned to adapt, and generally done an admirable job of keeping the faith that things are all working out. Kristen wanted to hear how she’s maintained her positive outlook in the midst of so much uncertainty. In this mont

You’re in for a treat today! Instead of us whipping out one of our oracle decks like we’ve been doing every-other-Tuesday for a while now, we decided to bring in some bigger guns, so to speak, to deliver a message from the Universe to you today. Our friend Francisca Hernandez, who you might remember from her normal person interview, as well as her expert interview about learning to meditate, is back (and has officially claimed the title of “most frequent Clarity on Fire podcast guest”) with tarot cards in hand to give us all some much-needed guidance. Francisca delivered two messages, and one of them is meant specifically for you! Click here to see the card spreads after you’ve listened. And we’d love to hear from you after this episode! Leave a comment to let us know which message you got, and how it resonated with you. MORE ABOUT FRANCISCA Francisca Hernandez is a creative, intuitive, and fluid soul with a passion for sharing well-being tools. She is a certified meditation guide, yoga instructor, Reiki prac

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Cassie, who can’t help but feel bad that she’s able to stay afloat right now, given how many people are struggling and suffering. How can she ease the guilt she feels for doing well when others aren’t? Jamie, who is on her third job in a row where she’s putting too much into it and caring too much—to the point where it’s making her miserable. How can she care less in a healthy way? Tracey, who just got laid off but says her immediate reaction was relief! Should she be concerned that she was relieved to lose her job in a time like this? After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you! Want to submit a question for our June episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out th

It’s time for another “Magic 8-Ball” episode! AKA, where we shake up the nearly-200 episodes we’ve released in the past two years, and the one that rises to the surface has a message that you needed to hear today. Today’s episode is a side chat from September 2018 about the grief of transitions. It’s one of my (Rachel’s) favorite episodes we’ve ever done, and very relevant to what we’re all experiencing right now. Here’s what I said when we first published this one: Hello from the other side … of 30. It’s been a month since I left my 20s, and I’m (Rachel) honestly still processing this milestone. I didn’t expect it to bring up so much grief — anger, frustration, sadness, and waves of anxiety and depression. And while I’ve been riding those waves, it’s become obvious that a lot of people around me are also battling that same current, just for different reasons. So, this mutual experience got me thinking about big life transitions. What do they have in common? How do we ride them out? Why are they so emotional?

*Cue Destiny’s Child* All the women, who independent, throw your hands up at me. All the honeys, who making money, throw your hands up at me. Sometimes as woman (especially if you’re over 30) it’s easy to gloss over everything you’ve accomplished in life—finding a career you enjoy, evolving as a person, developing deep friendships, making an impact in your community, eating well, staying fit—if you still haven’t attained a romantic relationship. And the world will certainly validate you on that front. From well-meaning family who ask why you’re still single, to your married friends who think you should “try matchmaking or speed dating! It could be fun!!” … the silent implication is often “your relationship status needs to be fixed.” And when it feels like you need fixing, that makes you feel a little broken. On this month’s interview with an expert, Rachel sits down with Shani Silver, the host of a Single Serving Podcast. Shani spent 10 years being single and miserable until she made a profound shift and star

It’s that time again! Every-other-Tuesday, as long as we’re all stuck in quarantine, we’re whipping out one of our woo-woo oracle decks and pulling a few cards for all of us. In times like these, it can be especially hard to tune into your intuition and receive guidance. Fear and uncertainty create a LOT of noise, both internally and externally! And, ironically, it’s exactly when we’re most afraid and unsure that we most need to be able to receive wisdom and inspiration. So, if you’re having a hard time getting calm, quieting your mind, and tuning in (understandable, if so!), we’re doing what witches do best and conjuring a message from the Universe for you today. We pulled 3 cards from one of our oracle card decks, and one of them has a message about something you need help with or answers about! Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! After you listen, come leave a comment to share which card you got and how the message landed with you! CLARITY IN A TIME OF PANDEMIC If we can h

Life is hard. We know this now, maybe more than ever. And we all know that getting what you want isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes you’ve got to do crap you don’t want to do because it’s good for you, and it helps you get to the good stuff in life. So, if we’re struggling to commit to something difficult, does that mean we’re copping out? Shouldn’t we just suck it up and get on with it, because yeah, life is hard but we’re resilient and capable of doing hard things? Maybe. But also … maybe not. On this brand-new side chat, we’re teasing apart the difference between copping out and letting yourself off the hook. We talked about… A thing Rachel was for sure copping out about, and another thing that she’s still struggling to figure out. A thing Kristen thought she was copping out about, but realized she needed to let herself off the hook for. The signs and indicators that you need to let yourself off the hook, vs. when you need to be an adult and just do the thing. After you’ve listened, leave