Everybody wants to be cool. When did this start? James Dean? Earlier? Were there cavemen who tried to impress cavewomen with their designer woolly mammoth jackets? Today I'll talk about how everyone wants to be cool, including WikiLeaker Julian Assange and alleged blood diamond accepter Naomi Campbell, who testified at the Hague this week. Campbell succeeded in barring the media from taping her testimony, so I'll read some of her words, and imagine what else she might have said. (By that I mean I'll make stuff up in a funny accent.) Also: Brands are not people, despite what marketing nitwits say. And much more! Tune in.