What is heart-breaking to you is heart-building to God! The very things I would never have chosen are the very things I would never change because through those experiences God made me who I am. It is the heart breaking things that God can use to be heart building. He works all things together for good- all things- even the rubble of our heart is the ground on which He can rebuild our lives. There is an "upside down" Kingdom in which God operates throughout His Word. We have to die to live, be weak to be strong, be worldly foolish to be worldly wise and so it is true that you have to be broken to be built.