Call Chelsea Peretti

Chelsea has garish accidentally purple eyebrows and hosts comedy genius Roisin Canarty. As Chelsea squints for invisible subtitles that never come, she learns about claggy foods, sliding fruit, and the best mascara.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A very bay ep with one of chelseas jr high school besties, a dr w a phd in theology and impeccable penmanship, Sarai Crain comes to the show. Songs! A discussion of being silly as a survival mechanism in 7th and 8th grades, shy roasters, crimped bangs, perms, rayon as a dominant textile, starter jackets, used leggings. Chelsea learns that many of her callers used to be emo. Chelsea as a failed blond. A callers Brazilian Petroleum fail and a teachers “sounds naive” in red ink. DJP caller ! First time drunk. Oysters / mussels / spengers. Chelsea learns she has mispronounced Appalachian her whole life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcastpodcaster.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea’s phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and princess cake, yucca fries, la restaurants, sparkling tea, the breville bambino, teeth, veneers, salmon recipes, air fryer issues,microwaves versus cooking over the cauldron, cheese, breastmilk, Roku city, Mexico city, girl couch, Bennys tv show, Kate's stage show, and becoming a cheesemonger apprentice as a mid-life career shift. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Quad-dominant podcaster Chelsea Peretti listens to your voicemails, takes calls, and ponders the very meaning of time in this musically front-heavy episode. A sailor pop song! A jellyfish attack! An exercise clothing vendor! A dramatic recipe monologue. Pottery. Santa's anus. Lavender lattes. Etc. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chelsea welcomes highlining daredevil Faith Dickey to talk the wild world of highlining, when you walk across a rope super high up. Why is it valuable to do scary things?  Is moderation the key to longevity? Infrared, compression sleeves, scrapers, epsom salts. Callers share what risks they take. An aspiring stand-up calls. Airplane etiquette. A solo round of "Who's Slurpin." Shoestring, curly, waffle, and steak fries. Malt vinegar. Brown sauce. Voicemails. The gap between the invention of bread and the invention of sandwiches. A call for food historians. Medieval food banquet fantasy. Cottage cheese. Flirting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The first lady of lattes and queen of caffeine is joined by legendary comedian Natasha Leggero, hot off of taking her shirt off onstage. Chelsea tries not to talk over people as a previous callers husband calls from the Catskills, a lady calls from her bath, and a stay at home dad calls to talk about shoulders. Natasha shirks gatekeeping and shares her lipstick and over-all brands as well as a secret for delicious tea. Discussion of a potty trained cat, people pleasers, fake aging hacks, chores, Emily Mariko, pottery, parenting, blondes, sex dreams, and pronunciation of words. Chelsea invents the Art History Gym Enrichment Program. Buy Natasha’s book “The World Deserves My Children”    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, alternately titled: SCIENTISTS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH OUR MOUTHS, as well as PB & C & S, Adam Scott and Chelsea make a TJs run to grab repetitively named snacks and return to the stude to sample them. Chelsea has consistent trouble speaking, flabbergasted by the sheer volume of peanut-based snacks in what quickly devolves into a nightmare. Imagine a 1 hr 20 min long rollercoaster (where the ride is relatively flat). That is this episode. A danish kringle, a cannoli dip, some elote chips, 500 sweet peanut-based snacks, plus hummus - all along for the ride! Plus! A pao de quiejo foley artist? Yes. Stay nutty, you psychotic peanut freaks!!!...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) RASHIDA “SHEEDZ” OLAYIWOLA to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small dog's relentless bitin' spree? One giant step backward for humankind.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chelsea, called "a beacon of femininity" by one caller, draws compulsive hearts on a notepad while leading a riveting discussion about over-identifying with your generation label. She gives advice to a woman dating a man who fails to tell her he has a child. She chats about things like "The Notebook" with a charming first-gen Egyptian dude. B99 fans call. A Golden Caller emerges. A desert dog hike mishap. Blonde roast coffee, Kraft dinner, kale, apples, and unfortunately: peanut butter.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever been attacked by a massive Grizzly bear on the top of a mountain where no one can hear your screams? This week’s guest Alex Messenger has! Chelsea welcomes the chipper bear attack survivor and his massive vocabulary to the show with open, giddy arms.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chelsea delivers a solo pod, manic, with wet hair, and two coffees deep. Breaking news! Opening songs! A shocking stance on vibrato! A new shoe reveal! Caller voicemails from a sad bday girl, a man who shat in nature, a group texter, a man questioning humans as interspecies "heroes," a dog bite survivor, a lady with no taste, an old timey lass yearning for love, and a dude with a powerful Chels PP name pitch. Chelsea imagines a dream news cycle and a utopian world. Chelsea thinks her Blockudoku score is high (it's not) and thus that maybe her IQ is high (it's probably not). Bone Broth. Benefits of whistling. Bear country and bear running speed. Caller emails.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hot off his new special Pete Holmes chews nicotine gum and joins Chelsea for a scholarly spiritual exploration. A discussion of the end of holiday cheer, gradients of sobriety, memory photo albums, missing your "comedy class," intrusive thoughts, breath work, not being poly, sleep, yoga, and snacks. Pete asks himself questions and quotes Boy Genius, Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and Rupert Spira. Old references like MOTPC and MYM and Deec PJ. Chelsea brings a real live gavel to make snap judgements! Callers discuss foods. Please sound off in the comments...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Musician Will Schwartz joins Chelsea for a joyous pod full of songs and singing about boundaries, love, and technology. Will contemplates his past life as a comedic personality. A caller infuriatingly calls all buttons “buzzers.” Chelsea writes live emails to a variety of experts. We peruse the case of Atlanta Andrew, a recluse without a door, and Toronto Josh (subjected by his husband to radio silence). We close it out with a caller who was attacked by a vicious dog!   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tim Heidecker joins Chelsea in her 500 degree studio to take turns spiraling and ask callers to play a game called: "Who's Slurpin'?" Han calls. A 28 year old caller from Perth has searing insight into Tim's past visits to Perth! Ghosts, energy, spirit, and soul. Tim plays one of his songs. A caller shares some acting class lunacy involving bone breakage. We examine the irksome blase tone of cooking content. Daddy's dinner bell. Tim's fans call and promote his entire body of work. A poly dude whose therapist skipped out on him buries the lede. Library intrusive thought direction. Suspenders, California. Olives, meatballs, lemons, empanadas, mac n cheese, green bean casserole, pizza, and balsamic glaze. A loose goose-attack framework. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mom calls for momtalk. A dude with a deep belly button shares his challenges and triumphs. A discussion of how to get off social media. Car crash alerts. A hematologist calls. An eyeliner rec. Military time. Rubbery pancakes and waffles. Grama impressions and reflections. Food test: gravy. Talking to callers like cute dogs. A barista calls from Alaska. And finally an interview with a couple who replaced their massive grass lawn with a native wildflower garden, thus inspiring their neighbors and the world beyond.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this episode, we dive into the sci-fi world of head injuries and brain problems. Two legendary guests join us: Dr. Langer, Chair of Neurosurgery at Lenox Hill Hospital, and star of two riveting Netflix docu-series "Emergency NYC"  and "Lenox Hill," AND: Morgan Murphy, kiss-ready comedian and Abbott Elementary writer extra-ordinaire. Plus calls from various afflicted parties, blithering on with so-and-so and whosy whatsit. Thanks to iHeart music catalog for an exploration of musical nirvana.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperetti  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.