What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Fun is something that is all too often missing in relationships.Over several decades when I've asked couples, what do you want to do for fun as a couple, not as a family? The response is often blank looks or a downcast glance at feet. It was Plato who said, you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

Attachment anxiety. Tackling insecurities for healthy relationships. Insecurities can rob us as individuals and in relationships. Insecurities feed everything from a shopping addiction so you look good on the outside or a secret life of porn because real people are confusing and too messy. Fighting our insecurities is a battle all of us share.

Learn how to be more forgiving in love. Whether you are discouraged about dating or questioning whether your relationship is good enough, we've got some great answers in our interview today. Love sets up a lot of expectations beginning with our own fantasies of what love is supposed to be. When the truth is real love is deciding to do the work of being a better person because you love somebody else.

Connection is a tricky business. Creating and maintaining genuine connections within relationships is a multifaceted challenge that holds profound importance in our lives. The intricate dance of understanding, empathy, and communication often proves to be a mystery to all of us. Miscommunications, differing perspectives, and the complexities of individual personalities can leave us confused as to what happened. 

Self-Forgiveness is an essential aspect of personal growth and well-being, as it enables individuals to move forward, heal, and cultivate a positive relationship with themselves. Forgiving oneself is important because it allows individuals to break free from the shackles of self-blame and regret. We all make mistakes, experience failures, and engage in behaviors we later feel really bad about.

Our sex lives are too easy to leave behind. It’s so easy to make excuses & dismiss opportunity with “I’m too tired.” Going without sex for long periods of time creates feelings of hurt & rejection that pile up to destroy connectedness. If a couple is unable to talk about sex then negative assumptions are silently stashed.

Everybody can get stuck in repeating patterns of ugly disagreement. Frustrations run high & solutions seem impossible. Communication can so easily break down for so many reasons. The intensity of the unhappiness that never gets resolved leads to a familiar stickiness that neither feels able to dig out of... The good news is it is possible!

Emotions are messy and confusing - they can so easily take us for a ride. Loneliness can carry us into bad relationships. Our fears can keep us isolated. Our shame can ruthlessly feed self-doubt & self-torture. Our resentments & anger can keep us stuck. We are unable to communicate decently if we don’t have emotional balance. Listen & learn what to do about this difficult business of emotions.

Shame strikes at the core of an individual's self-worth. When individuals feel ashamed, they believe that they, themselves, are bad, rather than simply acknowledging that they have done something wrong, which is why shame can be a massive roadblock to healing for so many people.

Accepting reality and acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses is essential for personal development. By denying or distorting reality, individuals may miss opportunities for growth, self-improvement, and reaching their full potential. So lying to ourselves definitely stunts our growth.

Money & how to manage this difficult subject as a team instead of ignoring the problems or constantly fighting. Money is a powerful force that touches every aspect of our lives, and when it comes to romantic partnerships, it can be a source of unity or division. 

Therapy is a process that has to be honest…it is both an art & a science in my mind. It is impossible to grow if both of your feet are in comfort & support. You need to straddle the line between support, safety & being challenged or uncomfortable. Therapy requires that you be uncomfortable to learn new ways to look at yourself.

Agreement and harmony are too often celebrated as the cornerstones of strong relationships, it is only in the presence of healthy disagreement that truly adds depth, resilience, and growth to these bonds. Disagreement, when approached constructively and respectfully, can foster better understanding, promote critical thinking, and lead to enhanced empathy and connection. When people stop avoiding hard conversations and plunge in to the risk of disagreement there is a deep richness to the more honest conversation.

Sleep is a universal experience that affects everyone. Sleep is particularly relevant to relationships, as poor sleep habits can impact both partners and cause relationship stress. Sleep disorders can also affect sexual intimacy, emotional regulation, and communication within relationships.

Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship. It gives it its foundation, making sure everything else can fall into place and stay there. Without trust, relationships don't stand much chance for success - infidelity or poor communication can lead to disputes which often cause hurt feelings on both sides involved. So if you're looking for advice on building trustworthy bonds with those around you then come join us as we explore all aspects related to creating such an environment!

Couples need guidance for navigating conflict wisely and skillfully. Hearing what someone has to say is integral in communication, particularly when working through a conflict. Being able to really listen and take in another person's perspective can be the difference between resolving an argument or making it worse. Good listening means hearing them out without judgment, being curious instead of critical. Curiosity keeps the door open. Criticalness slams the door shut. 

Recovery can be very difficult because of shame. Shame is an obstacle to healing for everybody. How do you face hard truths about your own dark side without drowning in the shame? Learn how to balance the footprint of shame that stomps on your soul. The only way to continue to respect that your partner’s generosity is used up is to recognize that actions speak louder than words. The work of recovery is totally worth it!

Parenting teens can be a struggle and an additional stress on relationships. Your sweet easy to maneuver children turn into road blocks & obstacles. Parents wonder what happened & where did they go wrong. It’s really not about what went wrong it’s about understanding you’ve entered a new world and you have to find the flexibility to do things differently. Teens are hungry for respect & the power to decide things.

We'll explore how prioritizing our own personal growth and self-care can translate into stronger and more fulfilling relationships with our partners. We'll also be sharing tips and strategies for cultivating a sense of inner fulfillment and well-being, and how to apply these principles to our relationships.

 Insights from a Sex Therapist Expert. Why not prioritize your sex life and wellness? Listen if you are curious about how your sex life stacks up against the rest of America.  Did you know that men feel greater distress when they're not content with their sex life? Communication is key if you are looking to improve satisfaction in your sexual relationship.