What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Relationships require a lot of growing up, a lot of facing your own dark side. Facing hard realities helps relationships. I believe real love is about deciding to do the work of being a better person, to risk change. It is not possible to grow & be comfortable at the same time. If you embrace change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. 

0000007F 0000007E 00001AEB 00001B10 000011A7 000011A7 00007DAE 00007E62 00003697 00003697 Everyone arrives at couples therapy talking about Communication Problems?? What lies beneath communication problems in relationships? Listen here to learn more.

Dating is often painful because the person who loves the least has the most power. Are you overly generous? Listen to learn about relationships that are too lopsided.

Relationship survival is something people should be able to learn more about in College. It's one of the best parts of life, yet it is a mystery to most people. Listen to learn the primary secret to success!

Couples have to evolve over time. Evolving as a Team means that the two of you together solve the puzzle of your strengths & weaknesses & how they can work together. Of all the Couples you know, how many are actually a team? 

What can help with the annoyances over differences when love & idealization wear off? You have to learn to respect the differences which is work, instead of pretending things aren’t that bad. Read more at: therapy ideas.net

Drama is about manipulation. Manipulation is about winning, not truth. The brilliance of O.J’s lawyers was all about flipping him from the persecutor into the blameless victim & asking the jury to rescue him which is illustrated in the fine FX show.

Manipulation is the core of the Drama Triangle. This game creates confusion & upset, not solutions or a path to truth. Denial is a huge part in the role of Rescuer.Drama is all about power & winning.

If you recognize your own dark side you will be a better candidate for love & relationships. It’s important to recognize our part in problems instead of taking comfort in blame.

Deep down we all want people to be like ourselves, then it would be oh, so much easier. Love can easily disintegrate into this unspoken demand that you should be more like me.

How do you approach hard topics in a relationship? You will learn 4 specific ways to communicate about problems. It’s important to dialogue not have parallel monologues.

Obsessiveness can crowd & suffocate the other partner. Obsessiveness is because of anxiety. Obsessive people can be full of “shoulds” & being correct which can lead to self-righteousness.

Season 2 of The Affair on Showtime is rich with the emotional truths about the delicate & complicated dance of connections & disconnections in relationships.

Relationships disintegrate too often after recovery from addictions. Learn how to avoid triggering shame in the partner in recovery to have greater success.

Drama triangles are often a source of manipulation in relationships. If you want to be loved no matter what or prevent disagreement then you are manipulating.

Manipulation requires both the manipulated & the manipulator. Both play their part. Listen to understand the dynamics of emotional manipulation since everybody manipulates to get what they want.

Communication builds on trust. Avoiding important conversations evaporates trust. Trust builds on Truth.

What lies underneath communication problems are power struggles. Someone has to win, someone has to lose.

To fight better learn to acknowledge two points of view, how to be vulnerable & more respectful.

Partners stop having sex & don’t even talk about it. This episode explores why sex is missing in relationships.