Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures

Another step into the weirdness of the great outdoors and the creatures who live there. Sasquatch murder, Mosquitoes saving the rain forest and the etiquette of tipping your guide.  Hambone! Flapjack! Enjoy.

Hank has Alex back on the show this week to discuss a subject she knows very well...  How to pull off the perfect tent heist. Along with tent thievery, they'll be chatting about things not to do with barbecue tongs, rattle snake long tongin' and the best cereal for camping. Enjoy!  

Baby news. Colonoscopy updates. An in depth discussion on the purpose of mosquitoes. Corn fields. Pythons. Wind for the win! Here's an hour of hilarity you do not want to miss! Hambone! Enjoy.

Among other nonsense, Hank & Kevin discuss the benefits of owning a good bear suit, Hank's upcoming colonoscopy, preparing for rain, snow, hot, cold and how wind ruins everything. If you got plans to get outdoors anytime soon, you won't want to miss this or any other episode! Hambone! Get Your Colonoscopy! Enjoy. 

Here's a nearly full hour of nearly five minutes of useful outdoor advice for anyone heading out camping for the very first time! Grab a pen and a post it note and get ready to take three or four notes. Skunks. Urinating on fires. Turning over in a sleeping bag. Sharp jagged rocks. The likelihood of being surrounded by a wolf pack. And MUCH MORE on this weeks episode. ENJOY! 

Kevin's amazing week culminates in the purchase of the vehicle of his dreams. An exploration of the dietary habits of the urban crow. Cholesterol. Cargo shorts. The etiquette of letting someone know you went fishing without them. Enjoy! 

Nature has many beautiful surprises... this is not one of them. Just when we thought we'd hit rock bottom, we find a shovel. This weeks topics include Hippos, working on the river, mini van alternatives and Hank's better than a rooftop tent idea. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Hank is flying solo this week! Kick back and enjoy some deep, not so intellectual, rousing, energetic thoughts on 25 cent Schaeffer Lights, 2 liter bottles of Sunshine Orange Blast Wine Coolers, Rooftop tents, the Taco Bell app, Mini Vans and Kevin's life as a Fragile Indoorsman.  Enjoy! Hambone! 

Coordinated squirrel attacks, laying around in an MRI machine, smothering steaks, fully loadin' baked taters and a rousing conversation about golf - a sure fire way ruin a perfectly nice day in the outdoors. Fore! Enjoy! 

I knew the title, the minute I heard these words uttered on this weeks episode. This week Alex and I are talking safety in the Grand Canyon, where to clean out a barrel, snake charming and much much more. Enjoy! -Hank

Finally, a Hank Patterson recommended books to read episode! But before we get to the literature, we'll be treated to stories of bears biting butts in outhouses, how to cook spaghetti on a stick and much much more. ENJOY! 

Here's an episode chock full of sophomoric humor that we should apologize for. Parachuting Beavers, Leeches on your nether regions and a dumpin' of snow all come together to form yet another super awesome episode. Enjoy! 

If you plan to get lost in the forest anytime soon, here's an episode full of ideas on how you can stay lost. This won't help you find your way home, but it'll help you enjoy the harrowing experience. Hambone! FlapJack! Compass! Enjoy! 

You hear about the rare wolverine in Yellowstone? You're about too. What are some good reasons to cheat at fly fishing? We'll let you know. How can you cheat? We'll let you know that too. Looking to listen to pure nonsense? We got your back. Hambone! Enjoy! 

How prepared are you to head for the hills in a moments notice? How ill prepared are your friends? Are you prepped for a week of camping, a day of fishing, a weekend of skiing, fifty years in a bunker? Learn more or less or absolutely nothing in this weeks episode. Enjoy! Hambone! 

Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners....  Listen with your dog! Enjoy! 

Hello Everyone! Unfortunately we're not able to bring you a new episode this week. Hank is sick and unable to record. That said, he's home cuddling his favorite blanky, complaining a lot and drinking vitamin C infused beers. We're sure to be back next week! Hambone! 

Happy New Year and Happy New Beer everyone! Here's the kick off to season three. Raccoons in Christmas trees, $700 ski pants, resolutions to steer clear of and much much more. Hambone! Jammies! Enjoy! 

Season 2’s finale is a not so extravagant Hank Patterson Holiday Extravaganza! If you’re looking for a list of things not to purchase the outdoor human in your life or advice on what to pay for a dog, this is the episode for you. Thanks for a super successful season two! Happy Holidaze! Enjoy.

Here's a super awesome episode about Kangaroo Island, Pygmy Possums, imitation vanilla, a surprising fact about beavers and the multitude of things Hank's lost in the wilderness. Enjoy!