Flora-

It is fasting how often we crave the acceptance and approval of those who won't accept us.我们常常渴望获得他人的赞同与认可，想来真是有趣。It is an unhealthy pattern to continually pursue people who reject us.其实不断纠缠疏远我们的人是种不健康的心理模式。We do this because we see our lovability as directly related to their approval so we keep trying to be "better" or "do more."我们这么做，是因为总觉得，非要得到别人的认可才能证明自己的可爱，所以不断想让自己在别人眼里看起来更好，或为别人付出更多，来争取好感。We do this so we can approve of ourselves through another person's approval of us, as if their approval finally makes us good enough. 我们讨好别人的另一个原因是，总是要获得了别人的认可后，我们才会打心底认可自己。The healthiest way out of this pattern is to look at why we deeply believe we need the acceptance of those people.走出这种思维模式的方法就是，好好想想为什么自己那么强烈地渴望别人的认可。Do they determine our worth?难道别人的认可就能决定我们的价值？Should we have to prove ourselves all the time only to hear we are not measuring up?难道只要有人说你还不够好，你就得不遗余力地向别人证明自己吗？If so, we are not picking the right people to have relationships with.如果真是这样，那就是择友不善。5 realities about people关于人际的五大事实1