Over It And On With It

Today’s caller, Amanda, wants to know how to stop obsessing about calorie counting, her physical appearance, and working out. Like many of the sessions, you hear on this podcast, the focus of our conversation takes a different direction. Amanda acknowledges she felt controlled by her parents growing up. And, the biggest thing I taught Amanda is how we often pair certain behaviors with love. For example, we know our parents are supposed to love us, so the way they parent us is what we think is love. In Amanda’s case, it was being strict because she knew her parents loved her. So, she formed a correlation between being strict and controlling, with love. Her attempts to parent herself, care for herself, and love herself the way her parents did, are a big part of her food and calorie counting obsession. She believes that is how she keeps herself safe, much like her parents thought their strict parenting would keep her safe. It ends up as a fear-based version of safety, and it’s exhausting. Another thing at play w