Like A Mother

Only about 3 percent of people who pay alimony are women, but those women are usually really, really angry about it. Typically, the women are angry about his low- or no-earning during the marriage, disgusted with his spending habits, and aghast she must now support him after the marriage is over.  In this episode, I offer my top advice for dealing with the reality of paying your ex each month. Tips include: Prioritize coming to peace with the situation. Stop talking about it. Minimize interaction, and find ways to pay him in a lump sum, automatically, or a few times annually. Accept that this is the price you had to pay to get out of a bad relationship. Ask your ex to fund the kids’ college savings plans. If you truly cannot afford your current lifestyle while making these payments, downgrade your lifestyle. Remember that alimony and child support were huge, wonderful feminist coups. Focus on how your kids benefit from this payment — and how you benefit by default. Peel away the layers of the resentment, whi