Alcohollywood

What does it take to change the essence of a man? This week, we find out (along with regular guest Derek Jarvis) as we dive into Steven Seagal's eco-friendly auteur explosion-fest, On Deadly Ground! Seagal's sole director credit, On Deadly Ground features He of the Ponytail as oil-fire specialist/secret military badass Forrest Taft, a fixer for evil petroleum exec Michael Jennings (Michael Caine, doing his damndest to sound American) in the Alaskan oil fields. After he uncovers a conspiracy to knowingly allow their new super-rig to blow up just so they can keep the rights to Native American land, Taft teams up with perpetually useless Native representative Masu (Joan Chen) to bludgeon, explode, and gun down every single one of Jennings' mercenaries - you know, for Mother Earth. On Deadly Ground is suffused with a healthy dose of Steven Seagal earnestness, gross native mysticism, and a hamfisted environmental message that would make Greenpeace execs wrinkle their nose. (Don't forget the incredible non sequitur