Alcohollywood

Jared's been zapped into another dimension, so Jon Espino of The Young Folks and HollywoodChicago.com joins Clint to investigate the mysteries of Netflix's Super Bowl-marketed sci-fi disaster The Cloverfield Paradox! A previously-unrelated sci-fi thriller given the J.J. Abrams treatment, The Cloverfield Paradox turns Julius Onah's The God Particle into a confusing, meandering installment of Paramount's favorite clearinghouse for original sci-fi movies! Here, the crew of the Cloverfield Station (Daniel Bruhl, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, John Ortiz, Chris O'Down, David Oyelowo, Ziyi Zhang, Aksel Hennie) run a Large Hadron Collider in space to solve the world's energy crisis. Once they fire it up, though, they find themselves in another reality with the Earth gone, a mysterious visitor (Elizabeth Debicki) stuck in the wall, and all kinds of crazy dimension-warping shenanigans.  That sounds really cool, right? Unfortunately, it becomes a boring slog of flat characters, confusing technobabble and some arbitrary connections t