This Week In Nope

Our attempts to warg our troubles away were interrupted by an impromptu Donald Trump speech, in which the Victim-In-Chief announced that he was going on strike until the Democrats cease all of their investigations into his rampant misconduct. To which we say, Nope! Meanwhile, Mayor Bill de Blasio entered the Democratic 2020 field with a cringeworthy (and possibly illegal) video shot inside his taxpayer-funded luxury SUV; Kris Kobach sent a list of demands to the White House, including the requirement for a private jet, to fulfill his Peter Principle-sanctioned destiny; and Steve Mnuchin’s 85-year-old dad used a flip phone to buy a $91 million Jeff Koons rabbit sculpture for disgraced hedge-fund operator Steve Cohen. Also: Nope investigates an unusual commercial real estate transaction in Hell’s Kitchen; Elon Musk sends an insane memo to all of his Tesla employees; and yet another high-flying Silicon Valley biotech CEO turns out to be a fraud. Finally, we speculate on what precipitated Kim Kardashian’s Twitter