Limited Appeal

After a whole episode of buildup (see Holy Straw, Batman), Warren finally gets the chance to introduce his new topic: name 5 animals, that if they were human-sized, you think you could take them. The rules of this strange fight club have you fighting in the organism's own habitat, so there are no freebies against whales even if you have three pillows and two buddies. We spend a lot of time considering the potential weakness of a long neck, and whether and how that might be counterbalanced by a good knockout punch. We also discuss the virtues of roundedness and beaklessness, and the futility of weapons design for ungulates. But we may not have come up with 5 satisfying exemplars, so there may be a part 2 someday. If you want to make any suggestions for that unlikely second chapter, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.