Miserable Retail Slave

Why would I do that?/ the fans/ peaks and valley/ Wrinkles galore/ What percentage of the nation finds you attractive?/ The Ultimate Betrayal: Michael and the Ninja Turtles/ Wedding probation/ local bowling alley legends/ Peter Dinky/ Hogging the glory/ Cocky about self awareness/ Too ugly/ God’s Yawning Son/ We go Free Willy/ Recognize your Free Willy/ Maybe I am the menopause/ an airing of grievances/ Tommy’s sheltered emotions/ Bathroom knocking/ “I am the one who knocks”/ the home throne/ Tommy’s non-PC nickname/ These car shows/ Bros before used car shows/ Mummies/ Dabbing/ Senator Kid Rock/ Tommy quitting comedy/ Unrequited crushes/ Never fall into feelings/ Am I a Care Bear/ Tommy dated weird girls/ We’re starting a speed dating and comedy show/ Better than anyone you could ever date/ the world’s greatest secret/ becoming a Juggalo/ Tommy’s show/ An online dating ad/ online dating nonsense/ dog puns again/ Getting spayed/ Jumping the gun again/ “I wanna get the beef”/ Online dating is like Tetris/ Tomm