Miserable Retail Slave

So, Arsenio Hall walks into a bar.../ Derek Jeter is Minnie Mantlez/ A real life Jurassic Park?/ Saw: The Cruise/ Finding God thru boots to the face/ Randy and Tommy's Excellent Spring Break Adventure/ J. Go-Levs/ Marking your territory/ Randy drops beats/ Elton John vs. Madonna/ beefcakes = meatloaf/ Don Knots: Nazi Slaying Fish.