Limited Appeal

An oft-discussed but not previously resolved question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? We settle the matter, I guess, provided you don't care very much about the matter in the first place. Turns out the whole question turns on the secret, possibly offscreen shenanigans between Bruce and the security guard. If you can read between the scenes to imagine some help-shtooping, then you have yourself a holiday classic. Take that, Julie Andrews! Our handy rule turns out to illuminate the question for many other Christmas movie candidates, although the degree to which off-screen activity is implied is sometimes controversial. Screenwriters of the future, take note: make sure that you explicitly clarify the off or on screen antics involving the help if you want to be included in the holiday rotation. If you need help with how to write about expressly boning, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.