The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Srini Pillay (@srinipillay) is a world renowned, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, former Director of the Outpatient Anxiety Disorders Program at McLean Hospital, and author of Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind. "Most of us spend about 46.9 percent of our days daydreaming anyway. So why not learn to unfocus in a more productive way?" -Srini Pillay The Cheat Sheet: When 90-98 percent of mental activity is unconscious, focus can only get you so far. How focus and unfocus work in the brain. How positive constructive daydreaming helps us become more creative. Why doodling can improve memory by 29 percent. Discover the concept of possibility thinking for solving seemingly intractable problems. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/643/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Tr

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we discuss how going just a little out of your way to make someone else's day better has more mileage than any minor inconvenience you may experience in that fleeting moment. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: It's easy to ignore small tasks that someone else usually takes care of. But what happens when we take a minor detour from our own routine to help lighten someone else's load? As we soon discover, doing the hard thing isn't usually that hard. As Jocko Willink might agree, this is a form of taking ownership (though perhaps not as extreme as some of his own examples). Doing small favors takes little effort, but results in big appreciation. Find an opportunity to go above and beyond this week -- whether it's cleaning up after a clumsy pet, washing the dishes, or sweeping the neighbor's walkway -- doing the hard thing is

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you gracefully address the one guy in your group who constantly tries to dominate the conversation? Some feedback for our listener from FMF 122 about coping with a suicidal ex. Who the heck is this AJ character? A listener moving to China to teach English asks for advice from others in the AoC community who have done the same; Jordan shares his method for learning new languages. What if your misophonia goes to 11? No matter how bad your situation, just remember that someone, somewhere, has got it worse. But it's also not a contest. Documentary(ish movie) of the Week: Rosewater Quick shoutouts to Rachel Starr and Rob! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show

Lynn Lyons (@lynnlyonsmsw) has been a psychotherapist for 27 years and is the co-author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children and its companion book, Playing with Anxiety: Casey's Guide for Teens and Kids. "If you're uncertain and uncomfortable, you're probably on a good path to some sort of discovery or success or meeting some challenge that's in front of you." -Lynn Lyons The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between anxiety and worry? Why the content of what we worry about is far less important than the process of how worry operates. Anxiety, worry, and depression are all fueled by the predictable and redundant processes of global, catastrophic, and permanent thinking. Why the more we adhere to the demands of anxiety, the stronger that anxiety becomes. How to shift out of the current frame that seeks to eliminate discomfort, worry, and uncertainty and instead develop a relationship with it. And so much more... Full show notes at ht

Daniel Levitin (@danlevitin) is a cognitive psychologist, neuroscientist, musician, record producer, and author of Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era. "Your brain clings tenaciously to beliefs that it's held, even when the evidence has been found to be bogus or untrue." -Daniel Levitin The Cheat Sheet: The most important quality for anyone who wants to be an evidence-based, critical thinker. Why even society's smartest people fall victim to misinformation. The first step to making good decisions. How to dismantle bad arguments on the fly. Why we need to look beyond averages when making a case. And so much more... Full show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/641/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by usin

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time we examine why being an amateur sometimes works to your advantage when you're tackling a problem that all the experts say is unsolvable. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're an amateur trying to solve a problem, you don't know what doesn't work. Contrast this with an expert who approaches that same problem as someone who usually has all the answers. When an expert is stumped, the problem remains unsolved. But the amateur, not knowing any better, can often approach the problem from an angle the expert never even considered. Where repetition numbs the expert, an amateur's relative incompetence begets innovation. Call it beginner's luck if you like, but no matter how new you are to the banquet, you've probably got something to bring to the table. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Ch

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you being overprotective, or does your sibling need more help than you can offer? How should a personal trainer respond to someone who wonders if they're obese -- without giving them a fat prescription of excusamine? How does a relative unknown in the entertainment industry hungry for meatier projects successfully network with bigger names who are harder to reach? [Related: The AoC Social Capital Program] How can an aspiring attorney be poised for legal opportunities related to cryptocurrency in the years ahead? Can someone learn to be less defensive? Documentary of the Week: Get Me Roger Stone Quick shoutout to the ladies over at the HQ of the American Cancer Society! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to talk some sense into us about first love fantasies, knowing the difference between good and bad relationship advice, and why she considers the concept of closure a myth. "Falling in love is not about relationship compatibility." -Linda Carroll The Cheat Sheet: Breaking away from first love fantasies. Why falling out of love is not a reason to leave a relationship. Four good reasons to leave a relationship. The myth of closure. What we can do to move on from a relationship that's ended. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/640/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard Ab

Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) is a comedian, actor, Emmy nominee, bestselling author, and host of Mohr Sports from Los Angeles and Mohr Stories. "Desperation has a very distinct scent." -Jay Mohr The Cheat Sheet: How Jay Mohr dealt with panic attacks while working on Saturday Night Live (and how panic differs from fear). Jay's secrets to being a better impressionist. What it's like to start out as a stand-up comic at age 16. The power of sincerity and real storytelling in comedy. How Jay copes with imposter syndrome. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/639/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, friend and former guest Cole Hatter of Thrive (September 29th-October 1st, 2017 in Las Vegas -- use promo code AOC at checkout for a big, big discount if you're planning on going) joins us to explain how we can ensure we're making the best decisions by using absolute truths to guide us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: We're all the products of our decisions -- so how do we ensure we're making the right decisions that will benefit us in the long run? Create absolute truths -- core values or beliefs -- in relationships, career, health, and spirituality. These absolute truths act as compasses toward which we align our decisions. Acknowledge which of these two types of decisions we're making: inconsequential or defining moments. When you come to a defining moment, ask: a) What are my options? and b) What are the poss

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does the conversation often move on before you've had the time to formulate a response? Is the perfectionist inside of you too restless to enjoy how good you've really got it? How can you tell legitimate coaches apart from the money-grubbing shysters? Do you consume so much information that it's hard to make any of it stick? How can you become better at thinking on your feet in considering counter-arguments and debating your position in the moment? Why doesn't Jordan sound like he's from Michigan? What's the best way to deal with a "friend" who can't be happy for your successes? Documentaries of the week: Get Me Roger Stone and Happy People: A Year in the Taiga. Quick shoutouts to Dr. Freda Tyson in DC and Marie Saint-Pierre from Montreal! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at frid

Bill Nye (@billnye) is a lifelong champion of science who is determined to teach you something today that you didn't know yesterday -- whether it's from a television screen or next to you at a dinner party. His latest series is Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix, and his most recent book is Everything All at Once: How to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tap Into Radical Curiosity, and Solve Any Problem. The Cheat Sheet: Why denying proven science -- like climate change and the efficacy of vaccination -- is in nobody's best interest. On reinvention and pivoting: How Bill Nye went from Boeing engineer to television personality. Why episodes of Bill Nye The Science Guy are still being used to teach kids science two decades after they first aired. How to look at the world with radical curiosity. Why it's key to internalize our fears in order to move forward. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/637/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Betterment is the larg

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Never let it be said that The Art of Charm would discourage you from being the best you can be. But have you considered the merits of lowering the bar? Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Setting your bar for success too high can result in the opposite of the desired effect. Rather than putting yourself in the path of a disempowering emotional state, consider the merits of lowering the bar. Focusing on goals that are far away or can only be experienced in a distant (or alternative) future means we never really experience rewards for our efforts. Instead of saying something like, "I'll be happy when I'm thin and muscular," say, "I'll be happy when I go to the gym." Immediately achievable goals set by a lower bar are far more effective in getting you to your desired target emotion than the cycle of failure triggered by a bar set too high. To l

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does Jordan still use any skills he learned in law school? How can you get rid of uptalk and vocal fry? Interesting feedback: Quite a few Russians and Ukrainians wrote in to agree with recent guest Timothy Snyder's take on tyranny. How do you break the news to your religious, conservative family that you've got divergent ideas? Listeners offer further advice for Former Fatima from FMF 121. Ever considered joining the Peace Corps? Another listener has advice for Torn Between Two Paths -- also from FMF 121. Do people with dyslexia display unique body language? Have I remained true to my purpose laid out in an interview with Jason Steinle way back in episode 34 -- ten years ago? Documentary of the Week. Quick shoutouts to Jay and CJ -- engineers who helped Jordan record some amazing upcoming interviews in NYC -- and Eric, who sent so

Tim Grover (@ATTACKATHLETICS) is the legendary trainer called upon by athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant when they want to be at the top of their game. He's the CEO of Attack Athletics and author of Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable. "Unless you have that mindset, skillset does not matter." -Tim Grover The Cheat Sheet: Putting aside inspirational Internet meme bromides, What does it really mean to be relentless? Why does every team need cleaners, closers, and coolers? Relentlessness can be taught; we all have a trigger that puts us in the zone to maximize our pursuit of excellence. Learn how to increase your threshold for high-pressure situations to perform better under stress. Find out how to harness your dark side and not let it control you (while understanding the consequences). And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/636/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers rec

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part two of a two-part episode; listen to part one here! The Cheat Sheet: We continue Jack Barsky's story that began in episode 633. Make sure you start there! How Jack handled a double life -- complete with two families. Why the once-powerful allure of Soviet-style communism began to wane over time for Jack. Why Jack decided to stay in the United States and become a "real" American. How Jack shook his KGB handlers. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/635/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Distinctive style meets unique spirit in the all-new crossover Toyota C-HR. Check out Toyota.com/C-HR to learn more! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one free month + 50% off three months here! Betterment is the largest independent online

This Minisode Monday, we examine how even the most reliable news sources and documentary makers skew the facts or present half-truths when reporting -- often unintentionally -- we just don't notice it unless it happens to be about something with which we're already familiar. It's a reminder to always consider multiple sources if we want to be truly informed on any subject. The Cheat Sheet: We all get news from somewhere. But how do we know our sources are reputable? The truth is, even with the best of intentions, every journalist gets it wrong sometimes -- because nobody's an expert at everything. Chances are pretty good you've been aghast at poor media coverage of a subject in which you consider yourself well informed -- at least once in the entire time you've been consuming news and documentaries. Watch a media production by a news agency or a journalist about a subject in which you are an expert. Take note of the gaps in the coverage. We tend to notice such gaps when we have a good grasp on the subject it

Liz Dolan (@SSLiz) and Larry Seal (@IHateMyBossShow) from the I Hate My Boss podcast join us for this Fan Mail Friday to answer your work and career-related questions, so let's cut to it! In this episode: Company loyalty vs. personal goals when a change in ownership is pending. Have you outgrown your "negaholic" friends at work when they're always complaining about the job you love? Hey, ambitious but unfulfilled intern! Should you stay or should you go? How do you reasonably cope with an unmotivated boss with divided attention -- when that boss is your dad and his attention is divided by family medical issues? What can you do to "forget" your nerves and be confident around your boss? (Warning: advice may vary depending on the business culture of your country.) It's tough being at a small company you really like when you have to report to a "leader" who doesn't take their role seriously. What are your options? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@thea

Christian Picciolini (@cpicciolini) is an Emmy Award-winning television producer, reformed extremist, co-founder of peace nonprofit Life After Hate, and author of Romantic Violence: Memoirs of an American Skinhead. "Hatred is born of ignorance. Fear is its father, and isolation is its mother." -Christian Picciolini The Cheat Sheet: How the marketing of extremism has evolved to become more palatable to the masses. How identity, community, and purpose drive extremism -- not ideology. Why extremism and race identity are popular with youth now more than ever before. What we can do if we know someone involved with -- or thinking of becoming involved with -- an extremist group. How an ex neo-Nazi skinhead became a uniquely qualified peace advocate to help others avoid walking in his footsteps. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/634/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part one of a two-part episode; stay tuned for the second installment next Monday! "The only advice I can give young people is the following: 'It always takes longer, and it always costs more.'" -Jack Barsky The Cheat Sheet: What Jack Barsky's childhood was like in postwar East Germany. The stickiness of Soviet-style communist ideology and how it appealed to young people on Jack's side of the Iron Curtain. How spies were recruited and trained during the Cold War. What skills Jack used to assimilate seamlessly into American culture. Why caution is a spy's best friend; paranoia is his enemy. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/633/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 to