The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Are there any benefits to suppressing emotions vs. acknowledging them? Here's an exercise to ensure you're doing the right thing. Many thanks to recent guest and How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain author Lisa Feldman Barrett (hear her full show here) for helping put this one together! The Cheat Sheet: Suppressing emotions is like putting a bandage over an infected wound -- it's only putting unpleasantness out of sight, not healing it. Even if it makes you feel silly, you need to acknowledge the true set of emotions you're having in order to process and move on. One way to do this is to write down your emotions. Are you hurting? Ashamed? Jotting it all down and noting how comfortable or uncomfortable these emotions make you feel forces you to face what you might otherwise be subconsciously avoiding. Give it a try this week

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: As a "nice guy," how do you let go of an ex -- who attempted suicide when your relationship ended -- without feeling heartless? Listener feedback for Nouveau Tech (from FMF 119) about how to respond next time the opportunistic entrepreneur ex makes contact. Listener Sweet Cheeks weighs in on what she does when male coworkers dismiss her statements with infantilizing condescension. Sometimes even gun-toting manly men need real talk from honest friends -- boundaries be damned! When you're fresh out of college, don't be too quick to dismiss the experience you can get in your ideal field from working at a non-ideal place of employment. Listener Westbound and Down tells us how he used Reddit to ask questions of locals prior to moving to a new town. Is there a kind way to discourage stalker-like attention from a socially awkward person without crushing

Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) teaches interrogation and behavior science on a tactical level for the US military, created The Behavioral Table of the Elements for behavior analysis in interrogations, and is the author of The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior. "Instead of trying to figure out what a person's good at, try to figure out what they want to be seen as being good at and you'll get ten times the results." -Chase Hughes The Cheat Sheet: What is the Behavioral Table of the Elements and how can we use it to determine the likelihood that someone is telling us the truth? Why Chase considers polygraph tests "just about as accurate as a coin toss" -- and how they're actually biased against people who tell the truth. What someone training to spot deception indicators and stress might learn from watching Conan O'Brien interviews. How training ourselves to be subconsciously aware of truth signals clues us in when someone who's lying deviates from them. How to hack authority for influ

Aaron Walker (@VFTCoach) has almost four decades of successful entrepreneurship under his belt; he rejoins us to talk about his new book, View From the Top: Living a Life of Significance. "I'm always looking for a way to make it happen, not excuses why it won't work." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: Aaron grew up with nothing; discover what significant mindset shifts along the way changed his own results. Understand why we should fear missing opportunity more than we should fear failure. The importance of living proactively instead of reactively. The value of participating in a mastermind group. How a personal tragedy led to an entirely new way of thinking for Aaron. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/631/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Vanessa Van Edwards (check out our full episode with her here) rejoins us to talk about value languages -- the motivations we have for entering into relationships with each other. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Ever wondered how to hack motivation? It begins by understanding what people really want out of a relationship. If you think about it, all relationships are transactions in which we give and take resources. Value languages are what we hope to get out of a relationship; they can be any of the following: Information Goods Status Service Love Money Vanessa gives us ways to practice how to recognize what value languages are being used in our own relationships so we can best address the motivations behind them. This week, take a look at brags and complaints when you hear them and try to match them up with these different value lang

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is the clock ticking on your window for big adventures? Consider mini-retirements. How do you tell your conservative religious family that maybe you've decided to go a different way -- especially when being disowned is a possibility? Is there a cure for 21st century millennial loneliness? Is there a cognitive difference between listening to audiobooks and visual reading? When you're growing good corn in this day and age, you've got more good neighbors than you may realize. How do you deal with a coworker who acts like they have complete disdain for you? Can you make your resting face more approachable? If Jordan had to be a lawyer again, what would be his specialty? A quick shoutout to Mo the Uber driver in Denver! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Che

Timothy Snyder (@TimothyDSnyder) is the Housum Professor of History at Yale University and author of Black Earth: The Holocaust as History and Warning and On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century. "Americans are no wiser than the Europeans who saw democracy yield to fascism, Nazism, and communism. Our one advantage is that we might learn from their experience." -Timothy Snyder The Cheat Sheet: Democracy has to be an ongoing activity -- not a waiting game for the next election cycle. Understand how fragile a democratic republic can be against the concentrated efforts of would-be tyrants -- and that the United States is not immune to their strategies. Take these small actions every day to ensure we're doing our part to maintain an open and free society. Learn how to consume information critically in a "post-fact" world. Recognize the scary parallels between historic catastrophes and current events. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/629/ Find out more about the team

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week, we're taking a little friendship audit to determine if we're hanging out with people by default or if we're actually enriching each other by association. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Personal development giant Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. How intentional are you about your friendships? What's the criteria for the people you choose to spend time with? Here's an exercise designed not to alienate you from your default friends, but to get you thinking about how -- and why -- you spend your time with each other. Write down your fifteen closest friends and why you're friends. Are you friends because you grew up on the same block, or are you friends because you have legitimate connections that elevate both of you by association? Reach out to the people on your

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How much eye contact is just right? How do you spend meaningful time with friends before going away for a long time? Have you tried the StoryCorps app? (From listener feedback -- not an advertisement!) Is selling insurance the right job for someone who's "too nice?" Can you handle more than one life crossroads at a time? Does a felon deserve a second chance? Aside from guest content, what are we reading at The Art of Charm these days? Jason recommends The Age of Absurdity by Michael Foley and Jordan recommends Guests of the Ayatollah by Mark Bowden, but make sure to check out our Bookshelf and this new monthly feature at The AoC! Quick shoutouts to fellow small world residents Shellie Lempert and Josh Pollack! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check ou

Brian Brushwood (@shwood) has spent the last twenty years performing onstage, on TV, and on the Internet, entertaining and teaching people how to harness the deceptive (and self-deceptive) skills of scientists, spies, criminals, and con artists. "The moment a magician says, 'Now we begin,' you're already screwed!" -Brian Brushwood The Cheat Sheet: Why being interesting isn't a gift -- it's a practice. Fixed action patterns and how they help us get others to do what we want them to do. (Important note: for good -- not evil!) How to control a conversation by asking the right questions. The best way to convince someone to help us? By making it their idea. Why we're all capable of being duped in spite of our highly developed human brains -- and how practicing magic can train us to be more resistant to the fraudulent. And so much more... SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.

David Buss (@ProfDavidBuss) is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. He is considered the world's leading scientific expert on strategies of human mating, and his most recent book is -- appropriately enough -- The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. The Cheat Sheet: Why does mating matter? The mating crisis among educated women. How to select a good long-term mate. What leads to mating disasters. What we can do to become better long-term mates. And so much more... If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm list

Commander Chris Hadfield (check out our full episode with him here) was the first Canadian to walk in space, but the experience went far from smoothly. In this Minisode Monday, he explains how he went temporarily blind but still managed to finish the task before him -- and what we on Earth might learn from his ordeal. The Cheat Sheet: Humans didn't evolve in zero gravity; you can never overtrain for life in orbit. If you can't navigate to the bathroom in the middle of the night, imagine trying to build a robot in space without being able to see. When something goes wrong, an astronaut must heed the immortal words of Douglas Adams: "Don't panic." We could all learn from what Chris Hadfield did when he found himself blind in space. What would you do if you were in his astroboots? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's

Norm Pattiz (@PodcastOne) is a legendary broadcasting entrepreneur who founded radio syndication company Westwood One in the '70s and the PodcastOne network in 2013. He's a member of the National Radio Hall of Fame and one of the most successful and influential businessmen in Los Angeles. "If you don't know the rules, you can't be limited by them." -Norm Pattiz The Cheat Sheet: Success often depends on spotting opportunity in adversity -- Norm knows this better than most. Discover what modern podcasting has in common with the heyday of radio broadcasting. Hear how Norm transformed the entertainment industry with his ideas and find out what he aims to do with digital media and podcasting. Understand how business intersects with influence -- political and otherwise. Enjoy Norm's personal Hollywood stories and why he's never had a bad job in his life. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHA

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Does resolving simulations in your head keep you up in the middle of the night? Now that you're doing well for yourself, is it petty to be reluctant about helping an ex who treated you poorly when you weren't? After moving to a new town, where can you meet people during the day if you want to cut back on the excesses of nightlife? How do you break the habit of checking social media every day? Why do Americans smile so much? How do you get colleagues to treat you as an equal when you look much younger than your years? How do top performers like Adam Braun build resources and change the world all at once? Sometimes helping your competition is what keeps you in first place. Quick shoutouts to Matthew Fox, who's biking across the USA, and Mjölnir-hurling Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with u

Adam Braun (@AdamBraun) is the founder of school-building Pencils of Promise and bestselling author of The Promise of a Pencil. He joins us to discuss his new project, MissionU, and how it aims to update higher education for the 21st century. "Credential isn't nearly as important as competency." -Adam Braun The Cheat Sheet: How and why is the education system in the US failing students? Why students are even less prepared for careers now than ever before. How MissionU protects its students from the crushing debt typically incurred by most college graduates. New methods and tracks of study that are more "futureproof" than others. How to think like an executive even if -- and especially -- it's your first year on the job. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer

Chris Hadfield (@Cmdr_Hadfield) is an engineer, former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot, retired astronaut, the first Canadian to walk in space, and author of An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth and The Darkest Dark. "The big decisions are the easy ones." -Commander Chris Hadfield The Cheat Sheet: The difference between "I want to be" and "I want to turn myself into." Enjoying small victories along a path of preparation and personal growth vs. grand "make it or break it" expectations. How intense is imposter syndrome for a newly selected astronaut? What's the astronaut's (as well as earthling's) best antidote for fear? What really happens when you sneeze in space? And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry w

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we show how making a small change in how we treat people we meet promotes a mindset shift in the way we're perceived and the way we perceive ourselves. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Take the extra effort to treat everyone you meet as if you're going to know each other forever. Think about it: if you're in a lousy mood, you might be more dismissive about someone you think you'll never see again. But the world's smaller than you think -- act as if you might cross paths again with the people you meet, because it's always a possibility.  This doesn't mean you have to approach everyone as if they're going to be your new best friend, but being mindful of the fact you may meet again will make you more conscious of how you act toward them. As we demonstrate here, just the simple act of being nice to people can make a big diff

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you overcome the need for external validation in a good relationship that's suffering from the fallout of past bad relationships? What's the best way to prepare for the death of a terminally ill loved one when you've still got a little time to spend with them and basic 21st century technology? A ten-year podcast listener and AoC Bootcamp alumnus weighs in on life changes three years since attending. Is it more cringeworthy to admit when we don't know something, or to pause a conversation mid-flow to go look it up on Google? Make America smarter? What dat mean? Wondering how to leave a voice message that will actually get you a response? Here's an example. Is it reasonable to expect an honest answer from your ex about where your relationship went wrong? It really depends on why you're asking. Shoutouts to Theresa Kwayi and C

Nick Bilton (@nickbilton) is a special correspondent for Vanity Fair, a contributor to CNBC, a former columnist and reporter for The New York Times, and author of Hatching Twitter: A True Story of Money, Power, Friendship, and Betrayal and American Kingpin: The Epic Hunt for the Criminal Mastermind Behind the Silk Road. "I don't believe we have crossed the line. I think we've just moved it." -Ross Ulbricht The Cheat Sheet: How does a merit badge-bedecked Eagle Scout become the head of a thriving online black market worth a billion dollars? What are the costs of maintaining a double life? What's the real reason Silk Road mastermind Ross Ulbricht was caught? What is Nick Bilton's unique research process for covering a story like this? Is everyone susceptible to the level of Ross Ulbricht's mix of ambition, hubris, and self-deception, or does it require a certain personality type? And so much more... SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it f

Dean Karnazes (@DeanKarnazes) may be most famous for running fifty marathons in fifty states in fifty days, but he's also a bestselling author who most recently published The Road to Sparta: Reliving the Ancient Battle and Epic Run That Inspired the World's Greatest Footrace. "We're so comfortable, we're miserable." -Dean Karnazes The Cheat Sheet: What drives someone to leave their secure corporate job and run a hundred thousand miles (so far) in a lifetime -- including three hundred and fifty nonstop miles through the desert? Why does Dean Karnazes believe comfort is overrated? How do modern marathons differ from the first one run by Pheidippides over two thousand years ago? Explore what happens to your body when you push it past limits you once considered insurmountable. Discover how to unlock your own inner strength to achieve extraordinary results. And so much more... Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer