The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) triumvirate of Johnny, AJ, and Jordan discuss the importance of narrative building -- taking ownership of the past, being mindful of the present, and setting sights on what we hope to accomplish in the future. To build rapport with others, we have to know our own story first. [Photo by Jonathan Kos-Read] "If you don't understand your narrative, it puts you in peril." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: The monomyth, or the hero's journey as identified by mythologist Joseph Campbell, is a pattern that shows up in stories around the world and across cultures -- from The Odyssey to Star Wars. We all have a story -- a narrative -- that informs who we've been, who we are, and who we'll be. But are we making sure we're in control of how we process this narrative? Are you on a hero's journey or a fool's errand? It all depends on who's authoring your narrative. Shouldn't it be you? Following the narrative building exercises discussed in this toolbox episode is a good place to start. Less

Jason Silva (@JasonSilva) would have been called a "performance philosopher" by counterculture icon Timothy Leary. Among many things, he's a futurist, filmmaker, creator of short video series Shots of Awe, former host of the National Geographic Channel's Brain Games and current host of Origins: The Journey of Humankind. "In the information age, you don't teach philosophy...you perform it." -Timothy Leary "Everything I do is a response against meaninglessness." -Jason Silva The Cheat Sheet: How our concepts of self are formed -- often through the eyes of others -- and how they affect our behavior. How top performers excel by shutting down the editorial parts of the human brain coined by Buddhists as the monkey mind. Why "unscripted" isn't the same as "unprepared," and how videos can be edited to elicit altered states of consciousness. How good directors help performers get out of their heads -- while bad directors do just the opposite. How is day-to-day reality edited by context, similar to the Kuleshov effec

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the factors that lead to self-sabotage, the self-perpetuating consequences, and what we can do to put a stop to the whole mess. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Do you agonize over the limited time available to deal with your workload -- or overall lifeload? When we're overwhelmed, a lot of things get swept under the rug. We're compelled to procrastinate, and whatever's left undone begins to build up -- which leaves us even more stressed and overwhelmed. We compare ourselves with people we know who seem to have it all together -- and our self-worth suffers as we fail to live up to what we believe should be possible. Why does this cycle of self-sabotage happen and how can we identify and put a stop to it? Some suggestions: eliminate distraction, change your environment, use the pomodoro technique, and try Ja

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What are some tactics we can use to handle over-talkers short of hiring an orchestra to play them off? Does a lack of college education really put you at a disadvantage with your peers once you've already established competence in your field? [Related: Joi Ito | How to Survive Our Faster Future (Episode 595) and There vs. They're vs. Their] What's the childhood story behind why Jordan became so interested in what makes people tick? Are you at the whim of your insecurities? [Related: Mike Rowe | The Way I Heard It (Episode 597)] Tip: If you're trying to change careers or you're looking for a job, consider spending a little to get professional photos for your website, LinkedIn, etc. A shout out to the Stance sock company who heard Jordan's personal endorsement a few weeks ago and sent him some new socks for free! Have any questions,

Shaquille O'Neal (@SHAQ) has been retired from basketball for almost six years, but he's still got his irons in plenty of fires. Here, we'll discuss everything from superheroes to law enforcement to business to sports to podcasting to -- yes -- the Flat Earth Theory. "It's never gotten out of control because even to this day I don't consider myself a celebrity." -Shaquille O'Neal The Cheat Sheet: What real-world experience Shaq is getting to prepare for a political race in 2020. How Shaq assembled what he calls The Panel to help manage not only his career but all his important life decisions -- and how you can do the same. Why Shaq doesn't consider himself a celebrity (and why that still isn't a good reason to bug him in the middle of dinner). How Shaq manages his emotions so he stays non-reactive on and off the court. Does Shaq really believe in the Flat Earth Theory? And so much more... Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is important to you and filters out what isn't. Visit san

Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) is a comedy writer/producer/director, co-creator of Chappelle's Show, and most recently featured in his live stand-up solo show 3 Mics now at Netflix. "A buddy of mine calls me Benjamin Button 'cause he says I'm doing my career backwards." -Neal Brennan The Cheat Sheet: How did Neal Brennan's 3 Mics show come about, and what's the idea behind it's three parts: one-liners, emotional stuff, and stand-up? The comedy writing process and how it mirrors real life. A mindset to get a more realistic handle on the potential outcome of a given project or situation. Tips on getting happy from a guy who's tried everything -- and why achievement can't be a substitute for happiness. When networking, remember Neal's sage words: "No one's going to help you in a way that's not beneficial to them." And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! If you're a business owner, did you k

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Ryan Michler (@orderofman) of Order of Man joins us to discuss how we can apply The After Action Review to better process -- and learn from -- our mistakes and successes. The Cheat Sheet: The After Action Review is a debriefing process that helps process recent successes and failures in order to learn from them. It consists of asking five questions: What did I get accomplished? What did I not accomplish? What did I do well? What did I not do well? What can I do better next time? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! In this episode: If high school and college didn't give you the best years of your life, it just means "the good old days" are probably still ahead. Are you lazy, disenchanted by a lack of challenges, or just afraid to fail? Have you considered the merits of self-deprecation? Criticism loses its potential for being constructive if it's not specific enough. Will your actions make the boat go faster? Relationships in the age of social media can be tricky, as we talked about in FMF 102. Did you know that Facebook has breakup tools? Jennie has a brilliant tip for people who are running late. Wasted potential is depressing. Quick shoutouts to Andrew Byrne and Jordan Laverty! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's other show: Grumpy Old

Brett McKay (@artofmanliness) is the founder of Art of Manliness, one of the largest independent men's lifestyle sites on the Web. Similarities in the naming schemes between AoM and AoC are purely coincidental! The Cheat Sheet: What is manliness? What are the domains -- the hard and soft skills -- an aspiring well-rounded man should develop? Why men of any culture should strive to be useful, not important. How to increase resilience by challenging your faulty "Me, Always, Everything" style of thinking. Why action -- and not getting stuck in your own head -- is the key to flourishing. And so much more... Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is important to you and filters out what isn't. Visit sanebox.com/artofcharm today and you'll get an extra $25 credit on top of the two-week free trial! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best he

Robert H. Frank (@econnaturalist) is the HJ Louis Professor of Economics at Cornell University and author of Success and Luck: Good Fortune and the Myth of Meritocracy. The Cheat Sheet: As we strive to achieve success, there are natural limits on how hard we can work and how smart we can be. There's no denying that luck plays a part in this achievement. Understand the role of luck, talent, and hard work in the overall formula. Discover why we tend to minimize the role of luck in our success. Find out how to maximize our luck in life by way of context outside of talent and work. Learn new ways to look at the luck factor and turn it to our advantage. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet pres

In this Minisode Monday, Jordan reflects on a grumpy old man he met in New York City and wonders if this fellow was a grumpy young man, or if he became that way over time. The Cheat Sheet: Some say that people don't change. But if you listen to this podcast, you already know that's not true. The real question is: are you making an effort to change for the better, or are you just letting change happen with the passage of time? How do you see yourself today as compared to how you were ten years ago? Are you making deposits to your relationships, or are you constantly on borrowed credit? How do you react when things don't go your way -- do you blame others or take responsibility? We're always working toward something -- either by effort or default. Are you allowing yourself to have a say in how the future you fits into the world, or are you slowly trudging along the path to curmudgeonry? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Like our new show music? It's Start Shootin' by Little People. As a freelancer, how do you politely ask current clients for referrals? [Related: Boomerang] Is it wrong to leave the door open to a relationship that's been broken by the presence of a psychotic alter-ego? How does someone go about getting audio testimonials from satisfied customers (as we do for our AoC Bootcamps)? [Related: Alex Kouts] How would James Bond make a smooth transition to the private sector -- and explain a lack of social media presence to a potential employer? Advice for overcoming cold calling fear. [Related: episode 554 with Daniel Pink, author of To Sell Is Human, Bill Guertin's The 800-Pound Gorilla of Sales, and various books by Jeb Blount] If you're in a relationship that ever makes you feel in danger, you'll want to hear our interview with Gavin

Clint Emerson (@100deadlyskills) is a retired Navy SEAL, founding partner of crisis management and risk mitigation company Escape the Wolf, and author of 100 Deadly Skills: Survival Edition: The SEAL Operative's Guide to Surviving in the Wild and Being Prepared for Any Disaster. The Cheat Sheet: How much of a SEAL's life is training, and how much is spent in active deployment? How can we spot potential terrorists in the making? What's an express kidnapping, and what can you do if you find yourself in the middle of one? What are the four tiers of awareness? How do you make yourself inconspicuous (or "grey") in public places to avoid scrutiny from people who mean you harm? And so much more... Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies he

Mike Rowe (@mikeroweworks) of Dirty Jobs fame joins us to talk about the skills gap, authenticity, and life experiences possible outside the comfort zone. Just don't tell him he's following his passion. The Cheat Sheet: Did you know Mike Rowe started his show business career in opera -- to get women? What are Anagnorisis and Peripeteia? Discover how Mike broke a pattern of commodity hosting by approaching the profession as a tradesman. Bromide busting and the problems with conventional wisdom. Why finding and filling a niche may ultimately be better than chasing what you think is your dream job. And so much more... Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is i

In this Minisode Monday, guest James Clear rejoins us to talk about how pre-commitment (aka implementation intentions) can make following through with a plan more likely. The Cheat Sheet: "Amateurs do things when it's easy -- when they feel motivated to do them. Professionals do things on a schedule." -James Clear Pre-commitment (aka implementation intentions) is the idea that if you lay out a plan for implementing your behavior with a very specific time, place, and location, you're much more likely to follow through. In one particular study, ninety percent of the group that made made a pre-commitment with implementation intentions were compliant with their goal. Discover how Jordan uses the pre-commitment to implementation intentions in his own schedule to get what some consider an outrageous amount of things done every week. (This applies to work as well as leisure.) To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead), author of Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist, rejoins the show to tell us how our audience scored in her Fascination Advantage Assessment. You'll be as surprised as she was when you hear the results! The Cheat Sheet: Personality Danger Zones -- understanding how other people see us and maximizing the chances of making a positive first impression. The upsides and downsides to creativity. How positive attributes can translate into pitfalls. Do you partake of "idea snobbery?" What patterns do Art of Charm listeners have most in common? And so much more... Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sally-hogshead-fascination-advantage-assessment-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rel

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A recovering smart alec wonders how to get a second chance at a bad first impression. Zooming out on talent to see the skill beneath. How do you become so interesting that people can't help but befriend you, hire you, and line up around the block to get your attention? A close friend suddenly stops responding to every effort at contact -- how can you find out what went wrong? When you're a child of the world, your hybrid accent is nothing to be ashamed of. When you've been burned in past relationships, how do you get over the "there are no good [women/men]" fallacy? [Related: Kimberly Seltzer's advice for How to Find a Therapist] Shoutouts to Konrad -- who used negotiation tactics he learned at AoC while working on The Paris Agreement -- and Xana, who benefits most from our Minisode Monday episodes! Have any questions, comments, o

Jessica Tracy (@ProfJessTracy) is a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, where she also directs the Emotion & Self Lab. She is the author of Take Pride: Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success. The Cheat Sheet: Pride is a universal human emotion and a force that can be harnessed to help humans succeed -- it's a key ingredient to confidence. Understand the difference between hubristic and authentic pride -- why we should seek out one but try to minimize the other. Learn how pride intersects with grit (per episode 526 guest Angela Duckworth). Identify pride to gain an advantage in shifting our own behavior and knowing how to react to others. Discover how the statuses of dominance and prestige are affected by pride. And so much more... Over at the Mind Pump Podcast, hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano “pull back the curtain on the mythology, snake oil, and pseudo-science that pervades the fitness industry." Check it out here! Doe

Joi Ito (@joi) is the director of the MIT Media Lab, a professor of practice in media arts and sciences at MIT, and co-author of Whiplash: How to Survive Our Faster Future. [Photo by Andy Ryan] "Education is what people do to you, and learning is what you do to yourself." -Joi Ito The Cheat Sheet: How does someone who dropped out of college three times wind up directing a lab at MIT? The pros and cons of formal learning vs. informal learning. Why does diversity make for better problem solving? What's the secret to building a deep and diverse network? What do running a World of Warcraft guild and spinning records as a club DJ have to do with motivating groups and accomplishing big goals? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/595/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, p

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about the pointless habit we all have of mentally reliving embarrassing moments in our lives and what we can do to stop it. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: There are times when we all mull over embarrassing moments from our past. Like worrying, it's a pointless exercise. Ivan Pavlov proved that he could anchor a dog's feelings to stimuli. As humans, we're even better at doing this to ourselves. We beat ourselves up over a story we've built around a feeling and reinforce this negative pattern. The challenge: every time you start mulling over an event that makes you feel bad about yourself, try to remind yourself of a moment in which you triumphed -- an event that made you feel good. Try to think of something new each week that's positive and helpful toward breaking the habit of gravitating toward the negative. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our S