Eft/tapping Q & A Podcast W/ Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

A few weeks ago in podcast #149 we talked about the trouble with saying "I love and accept myself". As we discussed, sometimes it is hard to say and there are also times where it isn't helpful to say. It was a useful discussion you should check out. I was overwhelmed with the response to that podcast. I as I noted in the Best Of 2014 I received the most emails about this particular post in the whole year. One question came up again and again: "How exactly do I tap for self-acceptance?" Here is a simple tool to do just that. You will need to use the Setup Phrase Generator and it only takes a few minutes a day. I would love to hear how this works for you in the comments below.

Surrogate tapping is a tricky topic. Tapping itself is difficult enough to explain, but trying to explain how I can tap on my body to promote change in someone else is a whole other level. At that point it sounds like we are talking about woo-woo crap that just can't be true. In the last few weeks I have witnessed some amazing things with surrogate tapping (or at least they appear to be the result of surrogate tapping). First, my sister regularly takes her dog Addison to the vet. Like many animals, Addison gets really nervous when she visits the vet and she especially hates having her nails clipped. When a trip to the vet is scheduled my sister will send me a text so that I can tap for Addison (from the other side of the United States). And next I receive a picture from my sister of Addison lying calmly on the ground completely relaxed and serene. It has happened too many times for me to dismiss this as some kind of coincidence. Second, I have been working with a family with a child who has been diagnosed on

Often times the biggest obstacle we have to using tapping in the healing process is ourselves. This happens in two main ways. First, there are times when a part of us that feels it isn't safe for us to heal. Since a part of our system doesn't feel safe healing we short circuits the healing process. When this happens we don't tap as much as we would like and always seem to have other things to do. Second, there are time where we are tapping for the "wrong issue" or have the "wrong expectation" what the tapping/healing process should look like. When this happens we can tap and tap and tap, but not get any where. In this week's podcast I talk about how we can respond to the second way we prevent ourselves from getting the most out of the tapping process. Our mindset about what to tap on and what the healing process should look like make a world of difference in terms of how much success we will have. If you keep these 3 simple ideas in mind before you tap you will find that when you do tap you are going to be wo

My clients often complain that even though they tap regularly for their issues, there are times when their emotions get the better of them. The goal of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is not for us to become emotionless. Our emotions are important because they allow us to feel in order to navigate the world and they are what give our experience richness. The problems isn't the emotions themselves, but when and how strongly they show up. In this week's podcast I talk about the ultimate goal of tapping AND how we can best understand our experience of our emotions. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

When Gary Craig first introduced the world to Emotional Freedom Techniques he used something he called the setup phrase. You would tap on the side of your hand or rub the sore spot and say, "Even though I have [insert issue] I completely love and accept myself." As time has passed and EFT has evolved most teachers of tapping fall into one of two camps. They are either insistent that you do this every time or they never do it at all. There are enough tapping teachers who are still sharing the setup phrase that about once every 10 days I receive an email asking "Do I really have to say the setup phrase?" I think there is a middle ground. There are times when it is really useful and there are also times when it can slow the tapping process. In this podcast we explore when to use the setup phrase. We will also look at why most people are avoiding it, which has nothing to do with its usefulness.

Between the bonus podcasts and the full show I have shared over 200 podcasts!   It has been an amazing journey.  I would like to thank all the guests. None of the guests was paid for their contribution. I feel so blessed that they were willing to share their time and their information and wisdom.   As the person who had a front row seat for the full catalog I know my life is richer because of it. Recently, I was chatting with Gwyneth Moss and she asked if she could interview me about what I learned from doing 200 podcasts. That is the interview I am sharing this week.

We live in a time of exceptionalism.   Everywhere we turn we are presented with the biggest, the best, the greatest, and the most important.   And it is not just coming from marketers. If you spend any time on social media you see people describing the best meal they have ever had, the greatest vacation of all time, and the most important thing they learned.   We have come to a place where if it isn't the best then it must be a failure.   ##Wanting To Be The Best All The Time Is Bad For Us I think that it is important to strive for better and that we give it our all, but there are times where wanting to be the best just isn't good for us. It can even hold us back from taking action. In this podcast I talk about the trap of needing to be the best all the time, the value of good enough being good enough, and how we can tap to find our way to the right level of excellence.

I was recently having drinks with a friend and we were talking about my time teaching anger management in jail. She asked if I would teach her one of the tools I taught the guys. So I explained one of my favorites. She responded, "I can see how that tool would useful, but that is just about emotions generally. How is that tool an 'anger management' tool?" And she was right. Every tool I taught in jail was about having a healthy emotional response. Yes, the guys were looking to manage their anger, but the tools and techniques we use for anger are no different than those we would use any other disproportionate emotion. The Real Goal When we are working with our emotional response, the goal of tapping is not to be emotionless. The goal is to have a proportional, well-informed response. Everything we do when tapping for our emotions is about returning them to balance. We can successfully use the same techniques for all emotions is because the process of transforming our emotional response is the same regardless o

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a healing protocol is gaining more and more acceptance worldwide.   I see it very much as a cousin protocol to EFT and tapping.   In the interview I have a conversation with Masha Bennett who is very experienced in both. She compares and contrasts the two protocols.  In doing so she shares what tappers can learn from EMDR and what MEDR practitioners can learn from tapping. Regardless how much tapping training and experience you have you are going to learn from this comparison.

Recently my friend [Rebecca Kane](http://kanedesignconsulting.com) asked me my approach to working with clients and how I structure my sessions with my clients.   It turned into a very constructive conversation.   If you have ever wonder what a practitioner is thinking when they are doing a session and why they do what the do, here is your chance to hear my point of view.   This is not the only way or the best way to do a session, but these are thing is keep in mind to make sure I am keeping my clients safe and provided the care possible.   If you are interested in working with me one-on-one [drop me a note](http://tappingqanda.com/contact/). If you are interested in training created by Gene you can get [Advanced Tapping Training at a discount and a full year of the the Ruach Center](http://www.ruachcenter.com/adv-tapping-techniques-plus-access-to-the-ruach-center-2/)

Personally, I don't like the terms *alternative medicine or complementary care.*   The things we do either are working toward helping us to maintain and improve our health or they are not.   Elham Kashefi recently watched her dear friend Tara succumb to cancer. During the time she was receiving treatment it became very clear that the medical system taking care of her was incomplete.   The system was built only to respond to things after they had gone wrong and was only able to respond in a limited number of ways. Based on this experience Elham founded the Tara Project with the goal of providing people with the information they need to recognize the things they can do to maintain and improve their health in daily life. It also aims to help people post-diagnosis by providing them with comprehensive information so that they can make informed choices about their health.

According to Wikipedia is:   >In Jungian psychology, the shadow or "shadow aspect" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious.   In Kris Ferraro’s client work she works directly with the shadow self. She has found it to be a very effective way to find and clear the parts of the self that hold us back from being who we want to be. In this interview she shares a simple process that you can use to tap with your shadow self

One of the key reasons my clients don't take action is because of perfectionistic tendencies. The tendencies show up because there is a part of our system that is trying to keep us safe. We are worried that if something isn't done just right then things will go wrong. We keep working and working until something is perfect so nothing goes wrong. The problem is that we will never arrive at perfection so therefore we will never act. A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Adele Wang about how I understand and approach perfectionism with my clients. If you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies I think you will find this point of view helpful. If you are interested in learning more about Adele's see below.

There is no question that our world is becoming increasingly complicated as our down time diminishes. Because we are being pulled in so many different directions with little time to process our experiences it is easy to feel disquieted. In extreme cases this can develop into full-blown social anxiety. In this conversation Helen Walker talks about how we can identify the roots of social anxiety in this sense of overwhelm and disconnection from what is important in life. If you are are feeling overwhelmed by your day you will find what Helen has to offer very helpful.

We often find ourselves in need to tap for issues that have many aspects either because the issue is so large or because it has unfolded over a long time. For example: an auto accident that is impacting your health, your finances, and your ability to work a divorce poor financial decisions that have left you feeling embarrassed and powerless It can be tough knowing where to start and how to tap for complex issues. EFT Master Lindsay Kenny has created a simple tool using the image of a tree to create a structure for our tapping. In this conversation we talk about (and demonstrate) how the straightforward approach can be used for multifaceted issues with many aspects.

We hear it over and over again in our tapping training. “The more specific you are with your issue, the more effective the healing will be.” “The earlier the memory you can find related to the issue, the faster you will be able to release it.” For the most part these statements are true, but what happens when you are dealing with something general, like low self-esteem, or you are working on an issue without any memories attached to it? This week I talk with Gwyneth Moss who has developed a gentle technique for getting in touch with our younger selves in a way that allows us to do healing work without having to know specific memories.

We do not live in a vacuum. We are impacted by the issues others struggle with and vice versa. The healing process is also not something that takes place independently of others. Often our fastest route to healing is by walking that journey with others. Jondi Whitis has seen the impact of trauma on a community and the impact of a community on an individual’s trauma firsthand. She has worked with both the families of those directly impacted by the New Town shooting and also with veterans and veterans’ groups around the issue of PTSD. In this interview she shares what she has learned from this work, what can be applied to our own healing process, and how we can reach out to others. There is a great deal of wisdom to be learned from Jondi’s experiences. I encourage you to listen and take advantage of it.

There is a counterbalance to most things in life. Success to failure. Happy to sad. Action to rest. Growth to deterioration. Often when we tap we are working only on the part we see as negative, thereby addressing only half of this balance. Even though the negative side is most obvious and painful there are often tappable issues on both sides. For example, I might feel frustrated that I don’t have a better job, but there is also a part of me that fears the challenges a new job might bring. Feeling frustrated about not having a good job is an obvious thing to tap for, but if we may miss the flip side, which is our fear of the unknown. If we don’t clear both sides it will be hard for us to take action. In this interview Linda Woods presents a straightforward approach to looking at an issue from both sides. If you work through the simple steps of this tool you will not only identify new aspects but will also have documentation of your discovery, allowing to you to come back again and again to ensure you haven’t

When I am tapping on my issues it is my conscious mind that most often gets in the way. The conscious mind is wired to figure out explanations for what is going on and won't rest until it has done so. This becomes problematic when the reason it has decided is behind an issue is wrong. I have seen this with countless clients. They come to me because they can't seem to get tapping to work on their issue. After a little investigation it becomes clear they had been approaching the wrong root cause. Knowing that the conscious mind isn't always the best at figuring out the healing path, what are we to do? In this interview I talk with Carol Tuttle about how we can use the information and wisdom of our physical body to identify the right focus for our tapping work.

Knowing how to tap is not enough. We need to have a plan when we approach an issue. In this interview, Founding EFT Master Gwyneth Moss shares a simple and elegant approach that you can use for every tapping session.    Whether you are new to tapping or have been tapping for decades you will find this 4-step approach useful and it is so easy you can start using it immediately.