Boodaism

Have you ever tried bailing out a boat you didn’t know was leaking? You see some water in the bottom of the boat, and you think “hey, I’ll get this water out”, so you grab a bucket and start bailing. Then you notice the water starts to fill up again. So you bail it out, […] The post How Modern Marriage Is Making Us Lonely appeared first on Boodaism.

A true sign of intelligence isn’t how well you can explain your perspective, it’s how well you can articulate the perspective that opposes yours. I don’t care how well you can articulate your argument, show me how the other person is also partially right and I’ll listen. Show me that you’ve actually considered views from other […] The post You’re Not Trying To Debate, You’re Just Being a Dick appeared first on Boodaism.

The other day I got to witness a “classic” conversation among women. It’s a conversation that’s been going on in different forms for hundreds of years. A few married women were counseling their single friend about how she could meet “the one”. They went through the usual topics, they asked her what she was looking for, […] The post Stop Looking for “The One” and Do This Instead appeared first on Boodaism.

So often people come out of retreats, weekends or experiences and proudly declare “I’m transformed” — but I don’t believe them. It’s not that I don’t believe in transformation, I do — but we (especially spiritual people) love to mix up state change and life change. A state change is temporary, and while it may […] The post State Change vs Transformation appeared first on Boodaism.

No one likes throwing up. That feeling you have just before you vomit is one of life’s most unpleasant sensations, yet we all know how good it feels afterward. However awful the experience of purging was, we know that on some level it needed to happen. Welcome to the United States under President Donald J. […] The post The President America Needs, Not the One It Wants appeared first on Boodaism.

When it comes to understanding women — nothing beats primary source research. That’s why when I think about straight men who want to improve their love lives, I’d like to suggest something that may seem radical. I believe men would be better served if they hired a sex worker instead of a dating coach. I’m going […] The post Why Sex Workers Should Replace Dating Coaches appeared first on Boodaism.

I’ve been a singer and musician for most of my life. My biggest influences have always been black singers, and as a white musician who never wanted to sound white, I’ve always struggled with feeling like a phony. This is a poem I imagine myself speaking to a primarily black audience, because as a performer […] The post I Want You To Like Me [Poem] appeared first on Boodaism.

Here’s something that’s been blowing my mind lately. Video chatting. I know—seems like no big deal, but think back just twenty years ago—before cell phones were a thing and we had to share phone lines with our bratty siblings. If someone gave you a device that fit in the palm of your hand, and could video […] The post 5 Simple Ways to Have More Intimacy with your Friends appeared first on Boodaism.

As someone with relatively thick skin, I’d like to speak out about something that really bothers me — personal attacks on people we disagree with. I know it’s part of the deal, “haters gotta hate” and all, but wow — it’s incredible what we will say when protected by the anonymity of the internet. I […] The post On Public Shaming and the Death of Civilized Discourse appeared first on Boodaism.

Consequences create motivation. At the end of my 45-day bicycle trip in September I settled into some new habits that I knew needed to happen, but I never had the motivation for them. For example — my finances have been a mess since I left the Navy in 2010. I’ve always known that doing a […] The post Consequences Create Motivation: 2017 Annual Review appeared first on Boodaism.

Remember what it was like before we could comment on everything? Seriously, just think back twenty years ago. Someone would do something and if you had something to say you either had to say it in front of people (scary!) or not say it at all. How crazy was that?!? Today, we can leave comments […] The post The 10 Kinds of People Who Leave Annoying Comments on Facebook appeared first on Boodaism.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb if I said that people who identify as spiritual tend to be more narcissistic. This isn’t a jab at spirituality, it makes sense and I’d like to explain why. Modern spirituality (in the way we use the term) has become popular because of a need to […] The post Why Narcissists Love Spiritual Communities appeared first on Boodaism.

I don’t understand how my parents live with the TV constantly on. Like many of my peers, I’ve grown accustomed to living without cable TV running in the background. It’s become so normal for me that when I find myself somewhere with a TV constantly on, it’s distracting and I have trouble focusing.  Maybe you […] The post 7 Ways I Use Minimalism on My iPhone appeared first on Boodaism.

Without the internet, I would have never become a writer. That’s because growing up I thought I was terrible at writing. I got C’s for grades, and I found reading books and writing essays painstaking and tedious. Then along came the internet. Blogging, social media and away messages for AOL instant messenger became my canvas, […] The post 5 Mistakes People Make When Writing On the Internet appeared first on Boodaism.

I’m sick of watching men “otherize” the perpetrators of sexual violence, as if they could never, ever be capable of something like that. In the last few weeks I’ve heard men say things like this. I’m so angry I could kill that guy right now. I can’t believe it, who would do such a thing? […] The post Dear Men in Glass Houses appeared first on Boodaism.

Oh boy. I mean, listen — I wish I cared. In fact, just before I wrote this I was browsing YouTube and I stumbled on Sara Bareilles’ music video for “I Choose You” where she spontaneously shows up and sings for two couples getting engaged. It was super cute, and I even had some feels. I […] The post I Don’t Care You Got Engaged appeared first on Boodaism.

*all commandments are subject to change 1. Don’t follow other people’s commandments. I know, right? What a weird fucking way to start this off. 2. Question Everything Including the statement “question everything”, including me telling you to question the statement questioning the statement “question everything”. Are you confused yet? That’s the point. We need to […] The post The Ten Commandments of Boodaism appeared first on Boodaism.

A few months ago I was part of a beautiful moment at the San Diego Superior Courthouse. Paula and I had gone to fill out paperwork, and in the waiting room we leaned on each other, shared stories and laughed together. I massaged her shoulders and she scratched my back. That all happened while we […] The post The Key to a Peaceful Divorce appeared first on Boodaism.

I meet people all the time that are disappointed. They’re disappointed when people aren’t honest, disappointed when people don’t keep their word, disappointed when people don’t respect each other, disappointed when it’s hard to find great romantic partners, disappointed when they receive bad customer service, blah blah blah… And hey — if that’s you — […] The post Most People Are Stupid — What George Carlin Taught Me About Happiness appeared first on Boodaism.

Many of you have read the article I Promise It’s Not ‘Lame’ To Ask A Woman for Permission, where I tell the story of how six years ago my insensitivity and ignorance left a woman feeling violated and hurt. What I haven’t told you is shortly after writing the article, I made the same mistake […] The post Just Feel the Pain appeared first on Boodaism.