Marriage Radio: Helping Your Marriage

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Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Dr. Joe Beam has said many times that if your spouse is leaving you for another person that s/he "madly loves" it may be to your benefit to slow the divorce down.Why?Because those states of being "madly in love" (also known as limerence) have a shelf-life. That euphoria doesn't last a lifetime. By slowing down the divorce you may be able to rescue your marriage because the limerence wears off before the divorce is final.Now Dr. Beam is modifying that statement. He still believes that limerence will erode and that there can be value in slowing the divorce. However, in an effort to slow the divorce, some have done things that provoke their abandoning spouses in ways that aren't beneficial.Yes, Dr. Beam strongly believes that in a divorce you should get an attorney and fight for everything that you need, even if that thwarts your spouse's plans. If your spouse becomes angry, say something such as "I'm not the one wanting this divorce.

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Who To Listen To When Your Marriage Is In Trouble - The Dr. Joe ShowThe moment people hear that your marriage is in trouble, you get deluged with every sort of opinion, recommendation, and idea that people can come up with.Most of it is bad.Some of it is motivated by good intentions. However, if the ones who give the advice love you, they most likely aren't very happy with your spouse. Therefore, their viewpoint is skewed against him/her and very much toward protecting you (and maybe toward damaging your spouse). Others who aren't so close think their advice valid because of something they personally experienced or that they witnessed in another. That's enough for them to make judgments about you, your spouse, and your situation even when they know only a little of what's actually happening. These folks typically are adamant that you heed their counsel, although in reality their advice often is the OPPOSITE of what you should be doing. If you doubt that,

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Your spouse strayed. Maybe it was another person. Maybe you threw him/her out because of their behavior. Whatever the cause, you're now trying to make it work again.But...You expect total honesty. You demand that s/he talk about the problem. You want to be understood and you want to understand why s/he did the things s/he did. You thought that reconciling would automatically bring about deep conversations, transparency, accountability, and finally a marriage better than it was before.Are those reasonable expectations? Yes.No.You see, it's all about timing. In this program Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss that when a couple think they are in reconciliation, many times they are actually in a step before that. No wonder they get frustrated; they're expectations don't match their reality.If you and your spouse are wanting to reconcile - even thinking that you are reconciling - this program will give you insight into what to expect, what NOT

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Do those who fight for marriages ever think that a couple should divorce?Yes.At www.MarriageHelper.com we fight for marriages. Since 1999 we've been able to help three out of four married couples in crisis resolve their seemingly insurmountable problems and save their marriages. It's known around the world that we do all we can to help marriages survive.Unfortunately, we know that not all marriages will.So when should one give up? Find the attorney and file for divorce? Is it when your marriage counselor says you should? Our experience says no. Good marriage counselors are worth their weight in gold. Others...well, let's just say sometimes it appears that some take the easy route and suggest divorce when there are still viable options for saving the marriage and making it good again.In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss how to know when it's time to call it quits. Both are experienced marriage helpers with a great deal of exp

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!He had an affair that nearly ended the marriage. He told her he was sorry. He said he wanted them to try to work things out, but he's not quite ready to reconcile.Then he was offered a job in another city. It's lucrative and he accepted. He comes home every weekend to live with his wife and children. They have a great time. He's attentive. The kids love his being there. But then the weekend is over and he heads back.Workable? Maybe. However, there's a catch. During the week, he doesn't call, doesn't take calls, and has no contact whatsoever with his wife or children. They have great weekends. She wonders and worries about what he's doing during the week. It's driving her mad. Is he having another affair? Does he live with some woman over there? What is he doing that prevents him from calling, checking in...or being checked on?She offered an ultimatum of sorts. "I'll be gone when you come on the weekends. You and the kids have

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Her husband left her after thirty years of marriage. She feels lost. She wonders if her life is over. She doesn't know if she can ever be happy again.In the first podcast in this two-part series, Dr. Joe Beam brought in his special guest David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert in helping people deal with loss - any kind of loss, including the death of a loved one. The principles he provided in that podcast "Life Feels Hopeless After My Spouse Left" laid the foundation for this program. In this broadcast, David and Dr. Beam discuss practical, doable processes to help her - and you - deal with the loss and find healing for her life.That doesn't mean that she has to give up on her marriage. As Dr. Beam teaches in many podcasts, there is a process that can work to bring back the abandoning spouse and make the marriage good again. Even better than it was. Yet...it isn't a guarantee. It is an amazing process. If anything works, this w

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!She met him when she was 16. They became childhood sweethearts through high school and married soon afterward. After thirty years of marriage, he left. Walked out stating that it was over and he wasn't coming back.She still loves him. Her heart is broken. She feels that her life as she has known it will never be again...that she'll never be happy...that she'll never get past the pain.Can she? Should she? Will she?In the program, Dr. Joe Beam interviews David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert on the pain of loss, the emotions one feels, and the path to healing.He and Dr. Beam discuss in detail why it is natural - and quite okay - for her to feel the pain she feels. However, the go beyond that. They provide an understanding of what she is going through. Then they explain the process she can choose to follow if she wants to heal her hurt and have a meaningful and fulfilled life.It isn't easy...pain never is...but it can be done and life

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!You spouse is involved with someone else. You love your mate and want to save your marriage. You heard about the amazingly effective system taught by Marriage Helper that works powerfully in helping people save their marriages. You went to www.MarriageHelper.com and found the information. You paid close attention when Dr. Beam explained how to be a safe place for your straying spouse and you have tried to be that person in hopes of salvaging your marriage. You grasped that to allow your spouse to be open and transparent - even about his/her affair partner - can lead in time to the restoration of your marriage...But...You've discovered that being a safe p;lace isn't always easy. Allowing, even encouraging, your husband or wife to be open about the affair partner is painful to hear. As a matter of fact, you wonder if it might be doing more harm than good...especially for your own mental, emotional, and physical health. Should you stop? Is there another way?In this pro

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!He claimed that God told him to leave his marriage. Later he said that he felt guilt for leaving.He said "I love you but am not in love with you." Later he said, "I don't know how to live my life without you."Then, almost out of the blue, he says "I am in love with you" but he continues to live with the other woman.What do you do? Do you wait for him to evolve back to wanting to be with you over her? Do you go ahead and divorce him and get on with your life?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam, along with his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, answers the woman's question. You'll hear her describe the situation and ask what she should do. You'll hear the expert explanation of what is going on with her husband, You may be surprised when you hear the answer to her question about whether to divorce or to wait.For more free resources for your marriage go to www.MarriageHelper.com. You can also find more free podcasts by sub

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Your spouse wants out of the marriage. You don't. You love your husband/wife and can't understand why s/he no longer loves you. Is there hope?Yes. Unfortunately, most people in your situation do the wrong things...things that in reality make it less likely you can put the marriage back together. In a previous podcast, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest Jim Pourteau explained three things NOT to do if you want to save your marriage. In this program, they explain three things that you MUST do if you wish to keep your marriage alive.These are not three magic steps that guarantee your marriage will survive. They are three crucial things to understand and put into practice that will help you save your marriage if anything will. The odds? Excellent. Workshops for marriages in crisis that Dr. Beam developed have a 75% success rate even if one spouse wants out of the marriage and has absolutely no desire for it to continue.Join Dr. Beam and his special guest, relationship e

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!You just found out your spouse wants out of your marriage. You love your spouse. You don't want the marriage to end. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?!Before knowing the 3 things you should do, it's very important to understand 3 key things you should NOT do if you are to have any hope for salvaging your marriage.Unfortunately, most people do one or more of these three and put their marriage into greater jeopardy. It's extremely important to know what they are, understand why they cause more problems, and why you should not do them...or stop doing them. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, discuss three key things to avoid. They explain what they are, why people do them, and why they have greater negative effect than positive. If you love your spouse but s/he does or says any of the following:- wants out of your marriage- says s/he no longer loves you...or that s/he never did- is involved with someone else- claims s/he just w