Jay & Miles X-plain The X-men

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook. X-PLAINED: The Golden Archer Wolverine #104-105 Generation X #18-19 Portions of Elektra’s deal Stick Wolverine’s nose Gateway and Onslaught Several flashbacks The Onslaught goblin Retcons and character accountability A wet open A somewhat atypical plane flight Toad by way of Chris Bachalo The mysterious DL Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff Cooking with Emma Frost Quasi-benevolent mind control Surgeon A bonus Shadowcat power Digital invisibility NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins! The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)! As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.https://www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/X349.mp3

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot. X-PLAINED: Teenage Iron Man Onslaught thus far What Onslaught wants Uncanny X-Men #335 X-Men Unlimited #11 Avengers #401 The rebirth of Apocalypse The Apocalocophagous The Age of Wonders X-Man vs. Professor X Nate Grey-sitting Humanity’s Last Stand Simon Trask Bastion Rogue and Joseph Avengers fashion Assumptions Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need. X-PLAINED Hyperstorm (kinda) Wolverine #11-16 A very full week What Wolverine has been up to Madripoor Several supporting cast members “Patch” Archie Corrigan Burt Corrigan Several things to do in San Francisco Vampire humor Ba’al The Gehenna Stone Penis bones The Hand of God Doomsday Mutual fratricide A midair brawl Secret identity problems Claw problems Other metals with which one’s skeleton might be bonded Bisecting Logan Team-ups we’d like to see NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, honestly, we promise. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listene

In which author and friend of the podcast Douglas Wolk joins us to discuss his upcoming book All of the Marvels; his epic quest to read all Marvel Comics, ever; and what he learned along the way.

In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about large things.

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone. X-PLAINED: Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING Archangel: Phantom Wings Unorthodox artistic decisions Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III) Angst, renewed Bird ichor Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit How (not?) to flirt Uncanny X-Men #333 Various Roberts Kelly Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold Operation Zero Tolerance X-Teams and their lanes A naked murder-uncle Pink villains Obscure callbacks Event synergy X-Men #53 Day to-day challenges of telepathy Super-Saiyan Magneto Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult Onslaught That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3 A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls XMEN Disease NEXT EPISODE: X-Force ge

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.” X-PLAINED: Jubilee’s aunt Hope Generation X #15-17 Generation X (more) (again) Emplates (more) (again) An instance of possession The Thomas family Intersectional bias Passing privilege Narratively-determined technology Giovanni the janitor Synch vs. Mimic An exceptionally slow-burn reveal Possession as a vehicle for character development The X-Cutioner (Carl Denti) (more) (again) Metaphorical DNA Fun times at the fair Ruby quartz adaptive technology Mutant names NEXT EPISODE: Fun with flechettes! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.

In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.