Jay & Miles X-plain The X-men

In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.

In which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and guest hawk Tea Fougner talked about pirates. You can find Tea at @teaberryblue on pretty much all of the social medias!

In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

In which writer Si Spurrier joins us to talk Nightcrawler, the unsustainability of Krakoa, bringing back Legion, the stuff growing on Dr. Nemesis’s head, Welsh accents, founding (and not founding) a mutant religion, and—yes—Onslaught.

In which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards. Topics, roughly: Fantasy wizards Space wizards Beards and wizards and gender Vancian spellcasting Wizard taxonomy The Baal Shem Book learnin' Towers and Discworld wizards Dragonlance wizards Tolkien wizards Iceman with a wizard beard Which animals make the best wizards Magic: the Gathering Our wizardy D&D characters

In which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves. X-PLAINED: What happened to William Stryker Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic” Emplate (again) Generation X #12-14 Inks Penance’s original backstory Pining A really unpleasant reunion Accent problems Gayle Edgerton Vincente Bulwark D.O.A. A somewhat chaotic victory Mutant teams from non-anglophone countries X-characters Miles would like to write NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our T

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Dardevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

In which Swimsuit Catalog is not an actual style of martial arts; Onslaught dabbles in vandalism; Crule is a special guy; we identify briefly with X-Force; and Charles Xavier is the Keyser Soze of Onslaught.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, in honor of the 1995 film's 1337-week anniversary, we talked about the finest movie about technology ever made, Hackers. Topics, roughly: Hackers Mister The Plague What David Bowie and Angelina Jolie have in common Razor & Blade The glory of Matthew Lillard Counterculture Queer (sub)text Focal characters Jay's sequel pitch In retrospect, we should have talked way more about Phreak, played amazingly by Renoly Santiago. Sorry, Renoly! That's what we get for doing Hawk Talk without our usual outlines.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat. X-PLAINED: Mutant Brood The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2 Theological origins of John Ostrander Hair An unspoken motif in pin-up art Reverend William Conover (more)(again) Hannah Conover (more)(again) The Brood (more)(again) The Brood Empress The Firstborn Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics Brood of the future A strange angel What Gambit’s trench coat is made of NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and l

In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.

In which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet. Topics, roughly: Blazing fast 28.8 Kbps dial-up AOL CDs Final Fantasy, MIDI-style Angelfire vs. Carrd The Gaming Intelligence Agency The Brunching Shuttlecocks The finest memes of the early 2000s Chaos Social media, as explained by Jay Social media, as baffles Miles Podcasts vs. the Internet

In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X. X-PLAINED: X-Force #49-51 Haircuts The return off Sebastian Shaw Stansfield A series of kidnappings Solar-powered superpowers Attempted murder Memories Cable as an audience surrogate Tabitha’s new codename The first Tick live-action series Warpath’s running speed Risqué What gravity sounds like X-leisure activities Magneto’s human name/s NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Topics, roughly: Daredevil parodies The nature of mutation The four humors Archetypes of masculinity Legal status of mutant animal people Questionable toys Adaptations and adaptations of adaptations Miles's favorite Mirage comic story The excellently weird Archie comic series Girl turtles and naming conventions Movies good and bad Milesangelo

In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.