Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy For Couples

Laurie and George define secrets as issues, fantasies or alliances that block connection. We certainly have a right to privacy and sometimes our private erotic thoughts makes our world sexier and makes us more available to our partner. Certainly some people choose and open marriage but they do it with… openness. we think talking about your fantasies or actual affairs with your a partner while incredibly difficult makes it possible for YOU not to be carrying the guilt of a secret that you find unethical and against your promise.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're celebrating our 500th episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy! Join our hosts, Laurie and George as they look back on their favorite episodes so far, how their professional journey began and what they have learned from each other over the years. We are thrilled that our listeners are learning how to have healthy conversations around sex and reducing the stigma and shame around something that everyone does! Share with us your favorite episodes or key things you've learned over on our instagram page or leave us a review wherever you stream episodes. Whether it's how to be more intentional around these conversations, or how to spice things up in the bedroom we'd love to hear from our listeners. And thank you to all of you for your listens, downloads, shares and reviews. This wouldn't be possible without our amazing audience. Stay tuned as we have so much more to share and as we continually work to strengthen connections in love relationships. Keep it hot y'all! Congratulations! Huge accomplishment! Che

She needs more foreplay and he doesn’t wanna lose his erection. Women need a slow patter of arousal to reach the best climax. Men when they’re on sildenafil (viagra, etc.) need to use their erection - soon. This is a familiar dilemma for couples in their 50s. George and Laurie role-play a couple who learns how to talk about this problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does introducing sexual novelty spice things up or turn things sour? Join us today for a conversation on how and when to introduce bringing something new into the bedroom? Research suggests that novelty in long-term relationships is key to keeping them alive but in the sexual relationship it has the potential to create a rift. George and Laurie breakdown the best way to structure this conversation to increase chances of successful communication, how one partner's gas pedal may trigger another partner's brake and how to apply the caregiving cycle if the situation gets a bit tense. If you've been thinking about how to approach adding some spice to your bedroom routine, you're not going to want to miss this episode. Tag us on instagram with your fails and nails conversations on this topic. We'd love to know what works and what didn't, all to help you 'keep it hot y'all!' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Or if sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why. Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas:the relationship - especially lack of communication,worry areas – disgust about certain sex acts, poor body image, or fear about not pleasing their partnerpleasure – loss of interest when she doesn’t climax or experience pleasure. George and Laurie discuss these areas and role play an initial conversation as a couple talking about her sexual blocks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss the messages we received about sex and who taught us about it. Join hosts, Laurie and George in this exploration to uncover 'who taught me about sex and what lessons did I receive?' For many, you may have received a one time birds and the bees conversation from your parents or through a mandatory sex ed lesson at school. However, communication about sex is much more than a one time conversation.  It is a process through which we exchange thoughtful ideas and openness for questions about intimacy. Perhaps you intercepted messaging from religion, culture, music or a peer on the back of the school bus. The origins of how you learned about sex can inform much of your connection to sex present day. It's time to get curious listeners and ask yourself and your partner what and from whom did I learn about sex? What messages did I receive and what beliefs did I form? These questions can help you dig deep and identify blocks, needs, desires or fantasies which when communicated about have

The million maybe billion-dollar question: how do we increase low sexual desire in women? Laurie and George discuss what is shutting down sexual desire in women. George gets it right by saying women often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. And Laurie discusses their disconnection to their own sexual needs. Laurie puts on her therapist hat and the work is pure magic! Sexual withdrawers will feel so validated listening to this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss freedom in your sex life. Three simple questions to ask of each other: What freedom do you need to explore? What do you need freedom from and where do you need the freedom to say no? Join hosts, George and Laurie in this explorative conversation and learn about what freedom means and looks like to you. These questions pose a good opportunity to explore your sexual blueprint, cultural or societal expectations imprinted on you and how to advocate for your needs. Sit down and listen to this episode with your partner and ask these questions! Keep it hot y'all!      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone wants to feel desired certainly. But the research shows that for women - being desired, hearing their partner's verbal admiration and open "want" - is very important to their turn on. When men are dating they instinctively know how telling their partner how sexy they look, sending flirty messages, giving their partner longing looks - tells her she's hot! George and Laurie talk through the shut down to this process and encourage men to go for it again. #couples #eft #sexpodcast #marriage #desire #secureattachment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss the importance of caretaking in intimate relationships. Things can go awry when one partner is looking for affection, nurture or attunement and it's read as blame. We all need to be cared for by one another and this is an important system to tend to. Join our experts, Laurie and George to learn more about the caretaking system in your relationship, your needs that you need responded to and how you can provide everyday care to your partner. So what does this have to do with sex? Laurie challenges listeners to a 30 minute emotional debrief a day. If the partner that needs this debrief is met with care and attentiveness chances to better and more sex skyrocket! Don't believe her? Give it a try and make sure to write in your results of the challenge to our listener mailbag on our website www.foreplayrst.com. Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant. It will help keep it hot! Learn more about your ad choi

“I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” - OUCH!!!I Sounds like a showstopper doesn’t it? But Laurie and George have hope for you to get it back.We use our favorite acronym BEST SEX Conversations - to explore why people might lose attraction for the partner they’ve committed to and some ideas about getting it back. We go through the primary areas of sexual attachment from a holistic viewpoint to discover what is causing lack of attraction. Then we offer ways you can feel the gas - how to increase the turn-ons! and then we talk about ways to release the brakes on the things that turn you off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we are discussing the "double hard." This is when partners are in the same position in each cycle. When the emotional pursuer is also the sexual pursuer and the emotional withdrawer is also the sexually withdrawer, partners have a doubly hard time accessing the other's internal world. The pursuer gets double rejected and the withdrawer gets double the pressure. These cycles can lead to more polarization, more rigidity and the feeling of speaking different languages. Hosts, Laurie and George will guide listeners through each partner's dilemma in parallel cycles. Through an excellent role play you will learn the motivation under the protective move and how to craft a better and more attuned conversation if your relationship experiences parallel positions in the emotional and sexual cycles. Partners are encouraged to get more curious with what is going on inside and try to experience their partner's position in a different way. We hope our parallel position couples find some encouragement and

We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems

In today's episode we are defining longings in a relationship. George and Laurie identify two different types of longing. The first seen as a more physical and emotional pain around an unmet need. These are longings that have to do with not being seen, or heard and require comfort and reassurance to restore safety. The second type of longing centers on growth and expansion. It is where we work to express our desire, pleasure and fantasies to one another. When there has been a prolonged negative cycle, longings typically are about safety and many couples struggle with longings that promote pleasure. What does the idea of longings bring up in you? Are yours more focused on safety or growth? Make sure to listen and share this episode with your love to learn more about what your longings are and how to express them in your relationship.  Check out this episode's sponsor (and help keep it hot!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm

There can be so much disappointment even shame when a couple is in a sexlessness marriage. Couple can tune out and shut down their need for flesh on flesh and over time it gets harder and harder to get back. They don’t know how to repair or even talk about normal failure and so they ignore the failures. This doesn’t happen just with aging. It’s people who resign themselves to not talking about it and both withdraw. George and Laurie talk about how to get back in bed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore taking sex from a chore to a desired event. It's common for one partner to see sex as a way to please the other but forget about themselves. While individuals do have different levels of sexual desire, physical intimacy is still a need. Laurie and George invite sexual withdrawers to consider themselves, and their needs and wants in the sexual relationship rather than just making their partner happy. Through awareness, mindset shift and fantasy withdrawers will learn how to uncover and share their sexual needs to create more desire and want in your sexual relationship.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Confidence is essential for a great relationship. But how to you grow in confidence if you've lost it or never had much of it? Confidence is the end result of a string of successes. We discuss moves you can make to help yourself -- and your partner -- build their confidence by how you interact, particularly in the difficult conversations. Learn new moves to help you be successful -- and grow your confidence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time to head back to school listeners! In this 'School of Love' episode we are defining attachment styles and how they show up in the bedroom. We focus on secure, anxious and avoidant attachment styles and why partners might fall into patterns based on their sexual attachment. Join hosts George and Laurie in this conversation on how your sexual attachment style affects your love life and what you can do about it. An anxiously attached sexual pursuer might crave connection to soothe themselves, an avoidantly attached partner might shut off emotions during sex and see it as a stress reliever. Why is this important? If you can see how and why you are showing up the way you are in your sexual relationship you can do something about it! Remember it's not just about you, this is an intimate connection and we want to aim to make this relationship as secure as possible. We hope you take lots of notes in class today!  Check out this episode's sponsor: Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favoritist personal lubricant! Learn

Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we are joined again by Dr. Ryan Rana, director of the Joshua Center in Arkansas and partners with George in the online EFT school for therapists, 'Success in Vulnerability.' Ryan joins our hosts in an in depth conversation discussing how to be more vulnerable in your sexual relationship. A relationship that centers on logistics and mechanics functions but doesn't access the power of attachment energy. To risk being seen, heard and understood deepens connection and harnesses a powerful energy. This 'soul connection' is the benefit from taking risks to be vulnerable with your partner by expressing feelings and needs. Come along with us today to learn more about what it looks like to be more vulnerable, how vulnerability can take your sex life from drab to fab and why deep connection with your partner is one of life's greatest stress reducers. Vulnerability can feel scary but on the flipside of feeling scared is feeling excited! Vulnerability is a major turn on! Check out this episode's spo