Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy For Couples

Attachment theory helps lovers make sense of why we do what we do in relationships. Developed from attachment theory, the theory of human bonding, are 4 attachment styles that characterize behaviors in relationships. We like to also call them strategies and we use these strategies as a means of protection when we sense a real or perceived threat in our most intimate relationships. On today's episode Laurie and George break down the four attachment styles and their presentation in emotional and sexual cycles. What's important to remember is that attachment relationships begin in childhood and span into adulthood, attachment styles are not fixed and can be improved, and once you name or identify something you can begin a conversation towards change. When we do internal work to become more secure in relationships we are able to take more risks, be more vulnerable and better tolerate ruptures. If you find that you identify with an "insecure" attachment style, it's okay! This is a great learning opportunity to lea

Maybe you've decided that you need to work on your relationship but what is it exactly that you want to work on? You don't want to sit in therapy and rehash every argument you had that week. Most often couples want relief from their distress and for their relationship to return to a time of greater joy and happiness. Join George and Laurie today as they share how to determine what you want when you make a decision to improve your relationship. Your homework assignment for this school of love lesson is to write down a list of positive qualities and interactions with your partner and your relationship strengths. These essential qualities are often not commented on and there can be a tendency to be problem focused when you consider your relationship. Negative feedback creates more negative feedback and this is when couples become stuck in a negative interaction cycle. Next, we encourage you to think about what you want to improve and how you can take action to make some changes. Finding clarity in what you want

Welcome Foreplay listeners to a can't miss episode with our friend and colleague Dr. Corey Allan co-host of Sexy Marriage Radio podcast. With over 13 million downloads Corey and his wife Pam, lead couples in deepening and improving conversation about physical intimacy and keeping your marriage sexy. While we are missing George today, we are over the moon to have Corey on as a guest. Are you afraid to let your partner in on your sexual longings? Maybe you know what you want but have no idea how to start the conversation, let alone contine it. Hear Laurie and Corey talk about the best ways to craft these conversations and speak to your partner in the most self-respecting way. How to recover quickly from disconnect to reconnect and kicking perfection out of the bedroom! This episode is filled with amazing gems on marriage that are sure to resonate. Make sure to give them a like and follow on IG @sexymarriageradio and visit their website at  https://smr.fm/  for more information on course, coaching and retreats.

The saying goes that laughter is the best medicine. In our work as couples therapists, we've seen the power of shared laughter between partners. Laughter has the ability to derail an oncoming cycle, increase playfulness and deepen the bond between lovers. We've also seen moments where humor falls flat and complaints disguised as jokes cause damage. Today's show has listeners learning about the benefits of laughter between partners and creative ways to increase laughter in your bedroom routine. Recalling Emily Nagowski's work from the best-selling book "Come As You Are," hosts Laurie and George discuss when humor is a gas pedal or a brake when it comes to sexual connection and desire in relationships. We encourage listeners to remember that timing is key, we have to consider impact over intent, and find out what makes us laugh together. When laughter is a shared experience it opens up the hearts of lovers even further! Check out our sponsors: RocketMoney.com -- Get rid of those online subscriptions that are l

Today we are welcoming an attachment expert and our dear friend Julie Mennano, LMFT to the pod. You may know Julie already from her incredibly popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship. With over one million followers, Julie has been educating about attachment theory and EFT on Instagram since 2020 and is the owner of Bozeman Therapy and Counseling, LLC in Montana. She is joining us today to share her new book Secure Love and to help our listeners understand what secure love looks like in action. Julie will break down the four attachment styles and how couples can work to maintain the integrity of their bond through conflict and misunderstanding. Her beautiful work helps us understand how to keep a balance between heart and mind. Couples that read Secure Love will learn more about their attachment bond, being connected even in conflict and how to treat loved ones with care. We encourage you to pick up a copy today to create a relationship that lasts a lifetime. Included is a chapter on secure s*x, whic

Foreplay listeners, join us today for a lesson on emotions! In this installment of our 'Love School' series George and Laurie are letting listeners in on the meaning of emotions and how we can lean into our feelings to improve our love life. There are 5 universally recognized emotions and behind each emotion lies a longing or need. In relationships miscommunication occurs because our non-verbal signals display these emotions well before our verbal communication has a chance to catch up. Go behind the science of emotions and communication with us today and learn how to repair when a bid for physical intimacy begins to go wrong. There is a depth of emotion to explore in s*x and this episode will give you actionable steps to having better conversations. Have you liked our lessons on love? Let us know by leaving a rating/review wherever you listen to our podcast and give us a follow on Instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast Sponsors: Addyi.com Foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY to get 20% off your first order or use code

Time to get nerdy with us today listeners! We're taking another deep dive into the science of love and bonded relationships and exploring more about attachment theory. We've noticed the trend over the years of big labels being stamped on relationships and it can leave the outlook on love a little dim. Our hope in this episode is to provide more education on behaviors that are created to deal with distress in close relationships. We cite some great research from leading experts, like Peggy Kleinplatz and Girut Birnbaum dedicated to the study of relationships, for couples and therapists around the world to help people love one another better. If you've experienced distress and disconnection and may have some disillusionment about love we invite you to learn more about attachment. We know that strong relationships lead to better quality life and health. Understanding attachment and the science of love is key to getting you there. This is the education we never got in school but so desperately need! Check out ou

This episode is all about attachment theory. Attachment styles have been buzzing in the pop psychology world recently. Our hosts invite listeners to learn more about attachment theory which helps us understand why we fight the way we do and why our partner reacts to conflict in the way they do. Attachment theory is based on the idea that we are here to connect and life is all about relationship and meaningful connection. Join us today as we break down attachment theory, and the attachment styles secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized. Laurie and George help us put on our attachment lenses to make sense of relationship behaviors that are often misunderstood. You'll take away the useful tips from acronyms A.R.E and O.I.L and how to make your relationship more secure today! Let's us help you love better this year! Check out our great sponsors! Foriawellness.com/Foreplay -- get 20% off your first order! Lumedeodorant.com -- Foreplay listeners get $5 off the starter pack! Addyi.com -- an FDA approved drug f

Grab your pen and notebook for this, you're going to want ALL the notes from this episode! George and Dr. Laurie answer a mailbag question from a longtime listener about bl*w jobs. More specifically, wanting to know how to talk to their spouse about feeling disappointed that this isn't happening in their sex life. We know that this might be a tense topic for some but our hosts do a fantastic job of equalizing this and addressing what stops oral sex from happening for either partner. Touch, taste, smell and thoughts around the physical aspects of the act are some of the reasons that block or*l sex from being a more regular part of your repertoire. Laurie and George give us some tips and tricks on how to improve basic gential hygiene. Most importantly, these experts discuss the communication issues that present and block partners from having a successful conversation about this topic. As always George reinforces, "if a couple can have a conversation about something then anything is possible." Learn how to work

If you've ever scratched your head and wondered 'why does my partner do that?' this episode is for you. What if you could understand the waves that hit you when you face rejection or failure with your partner? This episode will help you do exactly that. We've talked a lot  about pursuers and withdrawers in past episodes. Join us today as we name the five waves that each position experience in a negative cycle. George shares that we need to understand the waves to develop language in these sometimes dark places. It will be hard to communicate what you don't have words for and our hosts want to help you develop the vocabulary to speak openly and honestly to your love. What better way to start off the new year than learning how to love better. Grab your surfboards listeners and come along with us to learn how to ride the relationship waves with ease! Check out our great sponsors! Addy.com for medical treatment of female low libido RocketMoney.com - to help you eliminate unwanted subscriptions that you started a

Welcome listeners to today's episode! A pick six in football is when the opposing team catches an interception and returns in for a touchdown. This can either be the most exhilarating or devastating play of the game depending on which team you are cheering on. Either way, it is an exciting play that can change the outcome of the situation. Join us today as we have a little fun and apply this to relationships. In today's episode you will learn how to salvage a relationship mishap. George and Laurie share several examples of common cycle starters and how we can override the automatic response and respond more relationally. Your partner tries to initiate s*x but you are busy. You see their disappointment and feel yourself getting critical, learn how to slow down and communicate with your partner. In another example, your partner asks for your help and you brush them off because you have SO many more things to be working on. Your partner reacts by shutting down: learn how to re-engage and support them! Intimate r

But, George and Laurie, what is "rizz?" Rizz, selected as Oxford's word of the year for 2023, is defined as a slang term used to describe someone's ability to flirt. The word may be familiar as its origin is the existing word charisma. Join us in this episode as we break down what is rizz and how to apply it to your relationship. Maybe you're already one of those people that has a keen ability to light up a room, draw others to you, be self-confident and also intune with your audience. Some of us may struggle here but learning to rizz better is possible and perhaps something to add to your 2024 resolutions list. Our hosts implore us to do this by: improving active listening skills, eye contact, making conversation more personal, and better attunement as strategies to improve your rizz. They also note that most of us have strong rizz at the start of a relationship because we tend to put in more effort and intentionality when we are pursuing a new partner. However life takes over and that focused effort often w

Shame is an emotional experience that confirms our biggest insecurities. S*x is a sacred space that requires us to be naked physically, emotionally and spiritually. We don't want to think of shame here, rather we decide that s*x "should" be: passionate, spontaneous, simple yet, s*x with your intimate partner can trigger shame. Join us today as we discuss the reasons why we can feel shame around physical intimacy. George and Laurie lead listeners through a valuable conversation on what parts of an individual become exposed in this vulnerable place and how to begin to make sense of those internal messages. George reminds us that the antidote to shame is in connection and humans are not meant to face shame in isolation. We explore the deeper attachment themes present and Laurie highlights the dilemma of shame; sharing shame with a loved one increases safety but we need safety to be able to share shame. If a s*xual experience with your partner has ever felt like rejection or failure this episode is a must listen

In a relationship when we experience emotional hurt we quickly want to assign meaning to the feeling. Our brains are wired to make sense of the threat and a pang of rejection can send our thoughts spiraling. Then BAM we are in the cycle with our partner. Join us today as we help you make better and more accurate meaning to slow down this automatic process and keep you from falling head first in the negative cycle. As EFT therapists, we work to make reframes of protective behavior to help individuals expand meaning and perspective. When you can hold more space in your body for the physical sensation of an emotion you keep your brain in a neutral zone. A neutral zone will help you be open minded, think relationally and use communication skills like curiosity, understanding, validation and empathy. You will leave this episode with examples of common inaccurate meanings, why your brain does this, what to do instead and how to talk to your partner better. Head on over to our instagram page and let us know in the c

You grind so hard all year in hopes to spend quality time during the holiday season with your love but when the time comes you end up getting caught in the cycle. Has this ever happened to you? The holiday season brings out the extremes and primes relationships for the classic blame/attack cycle. Partners locked in tension often scream "you're too much/you're not enough" while putting on cheerful faces for family photoshoots and out of town visitors. We see the challenge and we've been there before! Join our hosts today as we open up a conversation on the many conflicts couples face during the holidays and how to stress less together. George and Laurie discuss the invisible workload and mental labor that goes into making holiday magic, the demands on time and energy and the cycles that couples get locked in. This episode will help each partner expand their perspectives and start a valuable dialogue of ways to support one another better, increase appreciation and create time to step under the mistletoe. We kno

Warning this episode is NSFW and you might want to sit down for this one! Is dirty talk part of your love making repertoire? Dirty talk is defined as talking explicitly about sex with your partner. These explicit words run the gamut and can either be a major turn ON or turn OFF. Join our hosts today as they not only give us a list of dirty words to use during sex but discuss how to artfully bring up this HOT topic with your love. This is an area that you want to approach thoughtfully. Moving too fast has the potential to ruin the fun that dirty talk could bring to your sex life. Here are some great questions to ask if you want to test the waters in this arena: "How do you want to talk about our sex?" "Is there a specific name or language you want me to use about your body parts, our moves during lovemaking?" "What ways can we create comfort and also turn up the heat?" Find out how your partner wants to hear it and learn what it does or doesn't do for them. Getting to know your partner better is always a good

A fetish is an object or part of the body that turns someone on sexually. How do partners safely discuss fetishes? Join George and Laurie in today's episode as they answer a mailbag question from a listener who discovered that their spouse has a foot fetish. This episode is for you if you have a fetish that you're unsure how to share with your spouse or you have learned about your spouse's fetish. Dr. Laurie shares that rather than shut down the fetish a couple can focus on expansion of sexual worlds. She provides direction on taking the sexual charge the fetish creates and making use of it in a way that supports the sexual relationship between partners. Exploring sexual fetishes may cause conflict between partners and George reminds us that better communication here is key. We reduce the fear of the unknown by having good conversation between lovers and learning how/if this fetish is integrated in the relationship. We want to thank our listener for sending in this question and opening up our audience to the

Foreplay listeners, join George and Laurie in this episode and help us celebrate 4 years of podcasting together! It has been quite a ride with our fearless love experts at the helm and we look forward to continuing to help our listeners keep it hot! Today we are breaking down the formula to unlock female desire. Listen as we share the 3 key ingredients that we have found are a common theme among clients, friends and in studies. They are emotional connection before sex, relaxation before sex and wooing/wowing your love. Women need emotional connection to unlock their sexual desire. Tune into the emotional needs of your female partner and focus on high levels of emotional engagement. Ask yourself: Am working to ensure that my lady feels seen, heard and understood? Next, never-ending to-do lists often keep women trapped in a constant state of go, not allowing for the proper amount of relaxation to help prime the body for desire and sexual connection. A spa day a few times a year is great but just won't cut it wh

Laurie and George answer a mailbag question in this episode. "I think my husband has been faking orgasms...how can I bring this up without increasing the anxiety he may already be feeling?" We want to thank our brave listener for reaching out to us with this question and bringing up a topic that is rarely discussed. Our hosts help provide language for couples and also make more explicit the emotions that end up driving the 'faking behavior'. Learn how to start a difficult conversation with your partner and pay attention to these key takeaways from this episode: the compliment sandwich, reducing unhealthy shame, giving men the permission to not orgasm and taking some of the pressure off. We love helping listeners with questions like this, so make sure you visit our website and drop us a note! Check out our great sponsors: Uberlube.com -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic! OMGYes.com -- Great information about

What is it exactly that women want? As the conversation of patriarchy and toxic masculinity have buzzed over the past few years (and for good reason) we're all left scratching our heads navigating this conversation. Join Laurie and George today in this exploratory conversation on masculinity and modern relationships. Spurred from a weekend away with Dr. Laurie's girlfriends filled with laughter, LOTS of conversation about sex and the lyrics from the song, 'Cover Me Up' by pop country star Morgan Wallen we get our topic for today's show. The song describes a man down on his luck, abusing drugs and alcohol yet taking the woman that he loves with wild abandon. Get the chance to hear how this made Laurie swoon and why other women may be so turned on by clear and direct sexual signals. This is certainly a topic that may heat things up physically with a tad of controversy but one that we think is worth talking about in bedrooms everywhere. We want to hear your thoughts on masculine energy. What does it look like? W