I Have Some Notes

Sometimes when I walk away from watching a film for the show I'm not certain it will turn out to be a great episode. The Da Vinci Code is kind of bland and felt like it might not be that exciting to talk about, but boy was I wrong. We had tons to say about it, so much so that the first half of the show went 10 minutes longer than usual. So enjoy our spirited attempt to fix this famous book adaptation.

Take the first draft of your script, hire an A-list cast, sprinkle in some Guy Ritchie and voila! You've got a Robin Hood. Trouble is, will anyone watch it? They might have if only they had passed the script over to us for a punch up. Sadly, no one may remember that Jamie Foxx was once in a Robin Hood movie, but you'll remember this episode for all our great fixes!

The thing you have to appreciate about a director like Baz Luhrmann is that he doesn't make boring films. Regardless of the finished product's quality, there will always be plenty to talk about. And talk we did, discussing The Great Gatsby in all its glitzy glory and bombastic faults. We did decided – rather wisely, I think – not to relitigate the plot of a classic novel, instead focusing on how Baz could have been more successful in his adaptation (hint: no 3D). Enjoy!

We've been released from our cryogenic prison blocks to bring you an all new episode of an old classic. Are movies from the 90s considered classic now? Don't say yes, I want to maintain some illusion of youth. The boys who note take a cold hard look at Sylvester Stallone's Demolition Man, sending scenes back and forward through time in hopes of generation a better movie. Also this one is chock full of your comments, apparently you had a few notes for old Sly.

Ah ha! Fooled you. You thought we were done making pod for the year, and BAM! New Side Notes! It's a Christmas miracle, if you really stretch the definition of a miracle…and we are. We got together for this bonus episode to chat about the movies, TV shows and YouTube channels that made 2020 at little more bearable for us. We realized there were way more movies released in 2020 than we thought, and that we've barely seen any of them. Most of the films we screened were the stinkers we had to watch for this show…we made that sacrifice for you, I hope you know. Anyway, have a happy and safe holiday and we'll see you soon in the new year!

Skyscraper, finally! Yes, I know we're late on this one, sometimes life gets in the way of rewriting Hollywood blockbusters with friends. However, the show is here now, and we want to thank you (sort of) for suggesting Dwayne Johnson's ode to Die Hard, and for all the other great movie suggestions that we'll keep them in mind for future episodes. Speaking of future episodes, this is our last show of 2020. Unfortunately I (Gregg) am too swamped at my day job to produce more shows this year, so we're taking our holiday break early. Normally I would summarize the episode here, but I just want to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone for listening, it's been a tough year and making the show and getting all your input on these mediocre films has been one of the few bright spots. So, until 2021, stay healthy, stay safe, and keep watching the skies.

Christine is not a movie about a talking car, that's the first thing I learned watching it. It is a John Carpenter film. And while his skilled fingerprints are all over this movie, overall this vehicular horror could use some tuning up. Glenna Schowalter joins us again for a ride down Armchair Screenwriter Lane, helping us re-imagine the themes floating around the spookem infested car known as Christine.

We recently watched two heavy social media related documentaries, The Social Dilemma and Feels Good Man, both of which left us jonesing to work out our feelings about. Sorry, we don’t offer any fixes for the giant mess Mr. Zuckerberg has made, that’s a bit outside our wheelhouse. We do, however, dive deep into the social and political ramifications of his software and how Facebook, along with many other companies, shape our everyday lives for good and for ill.

Venom is good…actually? Sure there's a serious lack of Spider-man, and there's at least 40-minutes of pointless globetrotting, but overall we have to admit this film is pretty fun. Of course, that doesn't mean we didn't find plenty to tweak. I mean, the titular symbiote has some real motivation problems, and Riz Ahmed needs a better relationship with his new genocidal alien buddy Riot. No amount of fun can stand in the way of our movie meddling, and we do it all with fan favourite guest, Danica LeBlanc!

September marks the beginning of season six of I Have Some Notes. Six seasons, where does the time go? What is time? I seriously don't know anymore. Speaking of milestones, we pass 100 episodes like three shows ago and didn't even mention it. Acknowledging significant milestones is for suckers. Anyway, for the 104th episode *party streamers* we watched DUNGEONS & DRAGONS with our wonderful guest and D&D expert Glenna Schowalter. It's the kind of movie that takes gleeful pride in making all the wrong choices . None of us were interested in fixing it so much as pitching a page-one rewrite.

The Old Guard is a pretty decent movie…there, the end, no need to listen to the show! I suppose if you missed the dulcet tones of our voices, we’ve got some tweaks that might be fun to consider. Gregg adds a new sentimental brotherly subplot, Scott sends Nile into the arms of the villains in the first act and Liam eliminates the TV pilot-esque stinger. Special thanks to Deja for providing research on this film for us. He dug up all sorts of great tidbits including the fact that the post-production team was made up of 85% women. This is especially impressive considering among the top-grossing films in 2019 only 6% of VFX supervisors were women and just 25% were editors. Even if you weren’t over the moon about the movie, this is definitely refreshing in a frustratingly male dominated industry.

A listener recently asked if we've done an X-Men film yet, and we thought to ourselves: Wow, what an excellent untapped franchise! Of course, what better film for us to tackle than the worst one. This could be our last stand, friends. Liam, Scott, Gregg and special guest Olav Rokne take their first class in X-Men, united by the franchises' potential future, haunted by its past. Together we look to stave off the screenplay apocalypse and attempt to resurrect Dark Phoenix.

Indiana Jones, beloved cultural icon and with a fan base that spans generations, surely suggesting rewrites to a sacred franchise will go over well on the internet. Liam, Scott and Gregg struggle mightily with trying to fix the character of Willie Scott, while finding a bit of an easier time eliminating the films offensive elements. The end result is a reimagined story that belongs in a museum.

We're back from a brief hiatus! Hope the armchair screenwriting community got along without us, we certainly missed you. This week we're programming updates for the TRON: LEGACY, Walt Disney's attempt to cash in on a property that made almost no money the first time around. Sounds like a great business strategy to us! We spend time tweaking the villain, adding conflict for the main characters, and building a new plot device to beef up the secondary characters. Tune to the episode then let us know what you thought of our changes.

Sorry, everyone, the newest episode has been postponed. In the wake of the horrific murder of George Floyd and the massive protests that followed, now doesn’t feel like the time to riff on mediocre movies, so we’re kicking the Tron Legacy episode down the road a bit. We’ll be back soon, but in the meantime, if you are looking for ways to listen, learn, and participate in the fights against systemic racism, here are some things you can do. On the listen and learning side you can start right here on the Alberta Podcast Network with Modern Manhood’s latest episode “The Murder of George Floyd” in which German speaks to Avry Lewis-McDougall and Sharon Ruyter about their experience living as black people in Edmonton. I also highly recommend the podcast 1619 by Nikole Hannah-Jones and Ava DuVernay’s documentary The 13th. Follow the voices of black and other marginalized groups on social media and soak up all you can about what it’s like to walk in their shoes and how you can be a better ally. As for participating

At the height of their careers, Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton joined forces for an explosive disaster movie that had all the trappings of a certified hit. Unfortunately the box office did not agree, and this rather decent volcano flick has laid dormant ever since. Untill now! We power up our script rewriting robot and attempt to pull Dante's Peak out of the rubble.

James Cameron spent years trying to put a live action version of Alita: Battle Angel up on the silver screen, and once he finally did it took us less than an hour to tell him all the things he could have done better. Sorry James, such is the nature of the internet, eventually three white guys with microphones are going to unnecessarily disassemble all your good work. Truthfully though, Alita is not a bad film, and while we put it through our notes process, most of our proposed changes revolve around putting this film in a better position to succeed as a series. We're just trying to help you make another buck James! We don't want you to starve.

Hey, do you love Aladdin? Do you love the Genie and Carpet and Abu? Well now they’re back, in soulless live-action remake form! Hooray. This episode takes a few twists and turns as we discuss the cultural space Aladdin occupies and how that would affect any rewrites or changes to the film. We also get into a deep tangent about the value of remakes compared to more original screenplays. It’s a good one, listen in!

We asked you to send us your questions for the I Have Some Notes crew, and holy crap did you deliver! We spent this week’s episode covering topics from how COVID-19 will affect movie theatres to our favourite/most hated movies of all time to whether we regret doing The Mighty Ducks (no). Huge thanks to all our listeners who submitted questions and a special thanks to our podcasting friends Flicks X-Rayed, Repodcasting and Cinematological for sending us audio questions!

Life is a movie from 2017 that nobody watched, which makes it perfect podcast material, right? Look, we’re wannabe screenwriters, not wannabe marketing experts. It’s honestly pretty decent, though. There’s a lot of fun sci-fi and horror-y things going on, and a dynamite cast including Rebecca Ferguson, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds. Still it’s not perfect, or we wouldn’t be looking for put it through our notes process. Listen in as we debate if Life should be more science-y or more horror-ish, whether the twist should stay or go and how long we should keep Ryan Reynolds alive.