Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned.  Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.Please note: Listening to this episode in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, pleas

When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-

The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”&nb

It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence.  Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad

Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence.Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBrysonJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com

As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No

In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https:

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all form

Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.comJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: To

“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.”Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free. Elisabeth’s website is BeatingTrauma.com where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available

Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with them, and impede other goals we have as parents. None of us are perfect, of course, nor would our kids wish us to be, but awareness of the impact of our words can make our lives easier.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful

Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I just didn’t know that this type of connection with anyone, let alone the most important person in my world, was even possible.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street."Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to benefit from the experiences. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not

As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page?Janet shares 3 notes from parents whose kids have experienced unpleasant interactions with other children. The parents' instinct was to step in, but they were uncertain how to do that without offending the other parents. Janet explains her perspective and specific advice for handling each of these encounters.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansb

Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships. Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on Amazon.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing trusting relationships.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art1