One In A Billion

Snap Judgments. Stereotypes. Implicit Bias. They exist everywhere, across and beyond Harvard. When I was a graduate student in the Regional Studies East Asia Program, I had experienced attitudes and comments that were sprinkled with presumptions from faculty and administrators whom I thought, would or should know to suspend judgment before they begin an enquiry. That enquiry could be as simple as a casual conversation or a probing question that would lead them to know me, as a person, before making reckless remarks. That was my assumption or expectation, you see. Well, I didn’t see it then. This is what I still recall. The day I handed in my thesis (more than 20 years ago), I went into my department program administrator’s office and yelled, “I did it!’’ Margaret looked up from her desk, cluttered with piles of paper, and smiled,  “Nice job! You’ve proved to be more than a pretty face!”  “What? Wow…” My heart froze a bit. “Was that a back-handed compliment!?” I stood and wondered, stunned and speechless. Mar

I spent most of my 20s pretending that I had no fears. Fears are messy. They mess up my optimism, my can-do spirit, they hold me back. I turned a blind eye to them so they wouldn’t slow me down. I realized that I had chosen a career, television news, that is relentlessly fast-paced and fiercely competitive especially in America’s top media town - New York. I was laser-focused on learning everything I could about the nature of the industry, the demands of my job, and the dynamics of my colleagues and supervisors. I tried to make friends with everyone, I did my best to deliver results as asked, and sometimes I even pushed myself to exceed expectations. I thought I had everything right and well and I would surely get that promotion I was eyeing next. I was dead wrong. One day, I found myself lying on the floor, having collapsed from hyperventilating over the loss of the promotion to another colleague. I was a mess, crying uncontrollably over the blatant bias in favor of a co-worker whom I thought was lazy, manip

Before I launched my media startup in 2012, I never imagined that one day, I would form a company to create a digital platform for young people from China and America to share personal stories and to build a network community. That was a quantum leap from my job for decades as a TV journalist writing and producing for American network news in New York. But over the years, I knew I was also getting restless and curious about what else I could do with my background as a producer and storyteller.  I had served as a volunteer in different roles and contexts, including being a mentor to young Asian journalists, and a “Big Sister” to a “Little Sister” born to Chinese parents from Fujian province struggling to adjust to new immigrant life in America. These were highly rewarding work. But I was never ready to quit my job to pursue that type of work full time.   I let my restlessness and curiosity sit for one year after another. I did nothing to tend to them. I enjoyed the stable income, a stimulating work environment

Finding Love in America: Are You the One?   Since I began dating seriously in my 30s, I found myself often asking if the guy I was seeing at the time was “the one” I wanted to settle down with for the rest of my life. Frankly, I was less “husband hunting” than on the lookout for a devoted life partner in a committed relationship. To me, devotion, honesty and loyalty are paramount. At various stages of my decades of dating, I had almost given up on the notion of “marriage” until one day, out of the blue, “Mr Right” walked into my life. Really. Almost literally. We first met through mutual friends on the street! (Harvard campus – on Alumni Reunion Day) That was April 2013. We clicked almost instantly. Our connection was constant and natural. It was as if, all our lives, our different choices and paths had prepared us for this moment, to meet and to fall in love. We got engaged in six months, and we got married six months later. I think that’s how life unfolds for many of us. We keep looking and looking – for l

What do you look for when you are seeking “the one?” I believe the answer lies mainly in when you are looking and why. When I was in my 20s, dating in America was a form of self-discovery. “The one” was usually someone, Chinese or non-Chinese, who opened my eyes to something new, something fun and exciting, something profound and intriguing. This “one” would be a bridge made of all kinds of materials that made it unique. This unique bridge, not a final destination, was what I wanted. I was always attracted to quirky, charismatic and challenging characters who would make me laugh, cry, think hard, think again, try hard and try again. You may call that a teacher figure, a father figure, a mentor, a hero – but never a husband. I suppose I was indulging in this kind of self and life exploration because I could. My parents in Hong Kong never gave me pressure to marry. Now I realize it’s very different for Chinese millennials seeking “the one.” Most of them are the only child, facing tremendous pressure from their

If you are a parent, what does your child’s name say about you? In America, most parents pick a name that reflects the femininity of a girl, the strength of a boy, or their own personality and individuality.  In China, a child’s name often embodies the parents’ hopes and dreams. They are idealistic and aspirational. If you want your son to aim and fly high, name him “Ling!” That’s Richard Yan’s Chinese name. His parents wanted him to follow in his father’s footstep to “fly across the Pacific Ocean” to America for higher education and a better life.   “Ever since I can remember, my parents have been telling me about the meaning of my name and stories about my dad while he was studying in the U.S. in the 1980s. We started learning English at a fairly young age as well, to prepare ourselves to go overseas to study. That has always been part of my identity and aspirations.”   Born in Wuhan and raised in Shenzhen, 31 year-old Richard has been living the “American Dream” as a Chinese dreamer. He has succeeded in

Muyi Xiao first caught my eye with her urgently captivating photo collection titled “Married Young.” It’s a story about teenage parents in China. One photo shows a 16 year-old mother, gazing adoringly at the sleeping infant in her arms. Another photo caption says Jian and Mei are expecting a baby in a few months. They were 15 and 16 when they got married. I was scratching my head going…what? Why? Why so young? What about school? What’s the story here? As I kept clicking more pictures for clues, I stopped asking questions. I started seeing each photo through the eyes of these children. The camera has turned my focus to the happy faces, thin bodies and tiny bed, projecting a reality that is immediately pure and profoundly provocative. They seem to be speaking back to me through these photos, saying “I’m a mother and I am happy.” “We’re having a baby. We are going to take care of each other.” These touching images left me in awe. Who’s behind the camera? That led me to Muyi Xiao . Born in Wuhan, China, 24 year-o

I saw Mojia Shen for the first time in a YouTube video G(irls) 2015 summit after a friend told me she would make a great interview for my new podcast, One in a Billion. The minute she started talking, I was intrigued. Her voice is strong, earnest and engaging. How did she develop such a passionate persona, speaking directly to camera in English, her second language? That was just the first of a billion questions I had. Where did she come from? What’s her back story? What is she doing now? Next, I googled her. In 0.61 seconds, 1800 results popped up. In her Linked In profile – she writes “ I am a Made in China Robot turned Creative Human.” Almost immediately, I felt like I understood her. Her essence and her quest. At age 19, Mojia knew where she came from, what she was expected to do, and she had worked hard to follow rules, fulfill everyone’s expectation, earn her marks and deliver results. Then came a surprise. When she got early admission offer from Beijing University, a top school in China, she turned tha

A 16 year-old girl from Hebei province decides to come to America after spending nine years at a Chinese army youth school. She is 21 years old now. A rising junior at Wellesley College and a budding social entrepreneur, Mojia Shen calls herself a “Made in China robot turned creative human.” One In A Billion is a platform about this rising generation of entrepreneurs, artists, and other creative types. Learn more at ChinaPersonified.com