Unhurried Living

"How are you suffering?"  Doesn’t this sound like a fun episode? However, it won’t take long to realize, and agree, there has been a lot of suffering in the last few years. A global pandemic. I’ve lost two friends to it, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost two months of my life fighting COVID19 two different times. There’s been so much pain. Social conflict. Political polarization. Racial pain. Vocational isolation or overwhelm. This episode addresses these truths  in a conversation I have with friends on the topic of pain.  The discussion draws from the chapter in my book, What Does Your Soul Love?, of the same title and looks at "how are we suffering?"In my book, An Unhurried Life, I put two chapters back to back that I wish didn’t go together like they do. One is titled “Suffering: Unexpected Unhurrying,” and the other is “Maturity: Growing Up Takes Time.” I wish that hardship and spiritual growth didn’t go together so often, but the seasons that have contributed the most to deepening my roots or strengthening m

What would it look like for you to slow down your inner pace as you converse with someone else? Here are five ways you can practice being present and listening to another person: Begin to quiet your mind as you listen. We all have distractions, but begin to practice setting aside your own inner whirlwind for a bit. Let the life of the person in front of you come to center stage. Quiet your own mind and tune in to what they are saying. Be at rest in their presence. Let God’s love for the person enter into your heart. This is the time for empathy. Remind yourself that this person is loved by God exactly as they are. Let God’s reality become yours. As you listen, let your heart fill with love for them. Whatever they share, you know that God is already there. God is accomplishing His work in their life. You can become a conduit for God’s love by opening yourself to God as you listen. Resist the temptation to problem-solve. It is easy for us to move directly into problem-solving or advice-giving mode. Watch out fo

In this week's episode, we share a recent conversation Alan had with James Bryan Smith about his latest book, The Good and Beautiful You. In it, he talks about who we really are in God. How has God created us to flourish? What does it look like to be fully alive inside? How do we discover the person Jesus created us to be? We think you’re going to find this episode really helpful in answering questions like these. A few years ago, Alan and Gem wrote their book on the soul titled What Does Your Soul Love?  There is such a difference between being a self that we define and being a soul made in the image of a good and beautiful God. We have no better sense of meaning, purpose or identity than one given by a Master Artist who created us as an expression of divine vision. God makes us special. In God we belong.  James Bryan Smith is a professor of theology at Friends University in Wichita, Kansas, where he also serves as the director of the Apprentice Institute for Christian Spiritual Formation. He is a founding m

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t." (Romans 12:5, MSG)⁠⁠"Love one another from the center of who you are…" (Romans 12:9, MSG)⁠⁠I now often use these verses as I prepare I speak to a group. I remind myself to embrace and to be who I am, without qualification. ⁠⁠I get to be exactly who I was made to be. ⁠⁠And I remember that I get to love those in front of me from the center of who I am. What a treat. What a privilege! And, to borrow a phrase, I can do that!⁠⁠This is an Unhurried Living way of serving. I serve from my authentic self and I love from the center of that place. ⁠⁠So much freer than trying to pretend I am something I am not and trying to impress those I am teaching.⁠⁠I prefer authenticity and love over pretending and impressing.⁠⁠If you are suffering from s

In our book, What Does Your Soul Love?, I shared the story of how I was learning photography at the same time as I was in the midst of a dark night of the soul. At the time, and to this day, I carry within me the principles and metaphors of photography as a paradigm for my life. There are many connections here between photography, presence and perspective. I’d like to share three with you now. 1. Look for the light.2. Remember the rule of three.3. Choose where to focus.Listen to today's I Can Do That Podcast as I unpack all three of these dynamics. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I’ve been a spiritual director and coach for many women over many years. There are common themes that have arisen in that time. ⁠⁠One prevalent theme I bump into over and over is this: Women tend to think there is something wrong with them if they are not progressing quickly through their current situation. ⁠⁠Whether it’s a difficult work situation, a troubled relational issue, a period of extended grief, or any formational dynamic, most are convinced that quickly is the only reasonable and truly healthy way forward. This is usually an unconscious bias that goes unnoticed until you say some things out loud and look at them a little closer.⁠⁠What’s the rush? Let go of the need to get over it and to continue a production-line mentality. This takes courage and hope, but in the long run you will have participated in your own transformational process. ⁠⁠You are being shaped more and more into the image of Christ. How long might that take? Breathe. Feel. Cooperate with the invitations set before you. It’s counter c

As a person of influence, you may be tempted to move ahead more quickly than your people can move. Be sure they sense you are with them in their journey, that you aren’t trying to drag them forward at your pace.If you are accompanying someone on their journey right now, notice if you are allowing them the dignity to set their own pace. Are there any adjustments you need to make as you accompany them? Relationship is more important than achievement. And, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone else’s grace, it’s ok to receive that gift from them. If you need more time, that’s ok. The fact that you are still pedaling means something. You aren’t giving up and you will get to your destination. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Often, when I talk about Unhurried Time with God, I offer that the reason we do it is because Jesus himself did it. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He got in touch with the Father so he could find out what to do, and more importantly, who he was. Jesus said that the works he did were the Father’s works and the words he spoke were the Father’s words. How else did he know what to do and say except for time spent in God’s presence? Wouldn’t it be great for someone to look at your life and work and exclaim, “Wow! That looks exactly like Jesus. I can’t distinguish between the two of you because you are so much alike.” How might we copy our Master so that our work is indistinguishable from his? What amount and kind of time does that take?Ask yourself: What sorts of practices are conducive to receiving the love, mentorship, and guidance of Jesus? What does apprenticeship to Jesus look like in your current season? Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn even more about her and her programs at Unhurried

A few of our deepest needs are to be seen, known and heard. Some of us can share our hidden spaces directly with God. Others may need to make their way to God with the help of trusted friends, spiritual directors, coaches or counselors. Either way is beautiful because it means you are becoming more whole. So…show it all to God. Tell it like it is. It’s already happening and God knows about it. You are not hiding just because you have your hands over your eyes. That toddler game of peek-a-boo is cute with a little one, but it is exhausting for us if we continue to play it as an adult. Find the freedom you desire. Take that next small, simple and gracious step forward. The one that you can see. Don’t worry about all of the other steps. The grace for each of those will be there when you get there. Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her programs at the Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/

“Unnatural, frantic, anxious work, work done under pressure of greed or fear or any other inordinate passion, cannot properly speaking be dedicated to God, because God never wills such work directly.” (Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p. 19)These words are a direct blow to my anxiety. Frantic work is never God’s invitation. Simply being reminded of this can be enough to quell the low hum of anxiety.If I know anything about myself it’s this: I want all that I do to be dedicated to God. And if anything stands in the way of that, I want to stop doing it as soon as I am able.So I’ll sink further into this reality: “The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need.” The ways of Jesus are found in the Great Commandment, the Fruit of the Spirit, the Sermon on the Mount, Psalm 23, and more. We do not see Jesus moving frantically or anxiously.  Even with all of his interactions, he always shared underlying dynamic: “I do what the Father is doing. I say what the Father is saying.” He always knew what he was

Wherever I go, do I act as though I should be there or am I held back by self-doubt? Do I enter with holy confidence or am I hamstrung by fear? Do I engage with assured presence or am I pressed down by anxiety? What if a “Beloved child of God” ticket was in my hand and I could use it at will. Like an eternal park hopper pass at Disneyland. Or like a never-ending entrance to the Cathedral in Florence. Of course, I don’t need to wonder—because I am a beloved child of God. Jesus assures me of this. It isn’t in question. How about this: the next time you stand on the threshold of a new opportunity, and fear raises its ugly head, look down into your hand and see your “Beloved child of God” ticket. Then proceed to enter in like any ticket holder would. The next time you need to set a healthy boundary, look down into your hand, see your ticket, remember you are loved, and then continue to make your way. The next time you want to enter more deeply into an unhurried way of life, and anxiety about your value-apart-from

“What is most real to you?”There are a lot of ways that the idea of “truth” is talked about these days. There are those who view truth primarily as a philosophical or doctrinal category to be understood and perhaps defended. There are those who talk about “my truth” as a way of describing their personal perspectives or views.   This week on Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan talks with friends and pastors on this topic of truth as a kind of lived honesty. This conversation stems from a chapter in Alan and Gem's book "What Does Your Soul Love?"  We invite you to listen to the discussion, buy the book and experience what your soul is longing for and what your lived truth truly is. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Over the years I have grown tired of my own inner dialogue—whether I am doing the right things, being the right things, saying the right things, accomplishing the right things. And not simply in regard to my outer work life but also my inner spiritual life. I have worn myself out with shoulds and ought-tos.What my heart truly seeks is peace. What it truly seeks is love. My simple, sighing prayer is, “I just want to be in Your love.”Might that be your prayer too?How does your heart long for God’s love? Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her on Unhurried Living Website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

God is saying that even if a mother were to forget her children (which she won’t), God will never forget us. God is doubling down on how much he wants us to know that he will never withhold his love for us. God’s compassion is sure and you will not be forgotten. This is important for us to hold onto as we continue to make our way through our lives. Life is difficult enough, let alone the last couple of years with the added strain of the pandemic. The weight has been, at time, unbearable for many. In the midst of this is this vital message: You are not forgotten.  Which means that you are remembered with compassion. Let’s hold onto this truth and let it change us from the inside out.  Connect with Gem on Instagram  or learn more about her at the Unhurried Living website. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The pace of grace, that’s the key theme in today’s episode of Unhurried Living Podcast. One of my mentors was fond of saying that just as truly as we are saved by grace, so we live by grace, serve by grace and lead by grace. Grace is not merely a doorway through which I enter into the life of the kingdom. Grace is the pathway on which I walk every step of my life.   Grace is not some kingdom commodity that God guarantees me. It is his very way of interacting with us with generous, joyful love. God invites us to make ourselves as home in his gracious presence. It’s is in God’s nature to long to be gracious to us. Today I'm talking with Ed Khouri, author of Becoming a Face of Grace. We’re talking about how it works to experience the grace of God and then to live graciously and interact with others graciously.  For more than 40 years, Ed has worked with substance abusers and their families in diverse settings. Serving as a pastoral counselor, trainer, and writer, Ed’s work has encompassed outpatient counseling,

If you are in deep pain and are waiting in the process, Holy Saturday is the day on the church calendar when you are deeply, lovingly acknowledged. Waiting is real. The loss is real.The disciples did not know about the resurrection to come the next day. They only knew their grief and loss.We are here and now. We know how the story continues. Resurrection did come. But today we will sit in the unknowing, the loss, the confusion.Let yourself be seen in this place. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's ok to await resurrection, but don't miss the beauty of the waiting.Since this is Holy Week, I’m walking us briefly through the three movements of this weekend.Dying. Waiting. Rising. You can read and download this episode on the Unhurried Living blog so you can follow along and reflect on each day Holy Week.   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Where are you hiding?”   Our habit of hiding goes back to the beginning of creation. Eve eats forbidden fruit. Adam joins her. They become self-conscious, perhaps even self-focused. And so when they sense God drawing near, instead of drawing near like they’ve always done before, they hide.   We do the same thing. We imagine that it is better to hide our messes from God rather than to bring them into the presence of mercy and grace. But it’s no better than a branch thinking it good to detach from the vine.   This week on Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan talks with friends John Freeman and Jeb Shore, about vulnerability. This topic stems from chapter 4 of What Does Your Soul Love? Listen in wherever you enjoy podcasts.  Then answer the question... what are you hiding? #whatdoesyoursoullove #unhurriedleader #unhurriedliving #unhurriedlife    Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I wonder if you, like me, had a small handful of childhood dreams. It might time to reflect back on them. See if you can uncover your heart’s desire inside a child’s wish. You may just find your next steps in the hands of your inner child. Tucked within may be keys to how you might want to express yourself even now. Here’s your “I Can Do That!” for this week:  Take a few minutes this week to reflect on your childhood career choices, or even just any memories you have of childhood dreams. Notice if there is an aspect of that in you right now. How might you want to express that more fully here and now in your adult life? Remember, you’re making your way forward one small, simple and gracious step at a time.  Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Today I'm chatting with Curt Thompson, MD about his latest book The Soul of Desire. I found so many intersections with what Gem and I have been learning in our journey towards wholeness and vitality in our life in God. In this book, Curt talks about the place of desire in our lives, how desire can sometimes get hijacked, but how desire can be a holy motive and energy that moves us toward the beautiful life of God he has always intended for us.  Curt Thompson is a board-certified psychiatrist,  founder of Being Known, an organization that develops resources for hope and healing at the intersection of neuroscience and Christian spiritual formation, and host of Being Known Podcast. In addition to The Soul of Desire, he is also the author of The Soul of Shame and Anatomy of the Soul. You can connect with Curt on social media on Instagram and Facebook..  Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Do you ever feel like you’re under a pile and there is no way to dig out? At this point, these are silly questions because we’ve been under a lot of strain the last couple of years. Many people feel pushed beyond their limits.I’ve noticed that my own negative thoughts and expectations can add another layer of weight when things aren’t going well. I burden my already heavy heart with should’s and self-judgments. This is easy to slide into when we are sick or when life throws a curveball or something unexpected at us. We lose our bearings and grasp for a lifeline.If you find yourself feeling stressed or overwhelmed, let me offer you an image. I don’t want to preach about this or give easy advice about how to make your situation better. I simply want to offer an invitation to soak in the reality of being surrounded-- of finding refuge.Listen now on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Connect with Gem on Instagram @gemfadling or learn more about her on the Unhur