Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

What’s more American than cheese, listener? On this episode, we’ve entered the Baconsale Cottage to discuss & rank 24 different cheeses. However Joel, Kent, and Zack are not going to be doing this Provolone. Our Gouda friend Babs will Brie joining us to tier these tastes and textures, too. And as we Asiago along, we may make you feel Blue as we mold our thoughts and milk our opinions. You may even call us a Munster due to some decisions we make along the whey. Nevertheless, we hope you Havarti a good time as we offer a history of cheese, make up verbs, and attempt to pronounce charcuterie.   Press play to discover your personalicheese and find your cheese chums.

Hey listener! Let’s dive into the fake, shall we? On this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are going to be ranking movies that don’t really exist. We found a website that lists fictional films found in shows such as Home Alone, 30 Rock, Singin’ in the Rain, Seinfeld, UHF, Tropic Thunder, and The Office. Therefore, we’ll be discussing which movies we would go see if they were real, which ones deserve a tier Tubi, and which films we’re glad were never actually made. We may not agree a lot, but we’ll certainly have fun chatting about counterfeit cinema.   If you know the difference between a matinee and a manatee, press play!

Believe it or not, readin’ ain’t just for grown-ups. Young adult (YA) novel adaptations may have passed their prime, but on this episode of Baconsale, we’re talking about the good movies, the bad ones, and the forgotten films. Joel, Kent, and Zack are joined by our friend Debbie to pick answers for such categories as Underrated, Least True to the Book, Favorite Character, and Feels Too Dark to Be in the YA Genre. Join us as we make some obvious choices, offer some hot takes, and give a few mild-to-medium spoilers.   Everyone dies at the end, so press play!

Who’s up for a third round of the nation-sweeping Parents Guide Game? Baconsale is! Once again, Joel, Kent & Zack have scoured the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) for ten films that the others will have to guess using only the clues from user-generated Parents Guide descriptions. But wait! There’s a Zack Attack! And he’s going to be using other elements from IMDb such as taglines, release dates, and actors as his clues. And since lunch with a parent is on the line, the stakes have never been higher. Listen as Joel favors Frightening & Intense Scenes, Kent keeps referencing the sessandnudidity category, and we’re all a little too nice to each other.   Pop a single knuckle and press play to play along with us on this episode of Baconsale.

There’s a first time for everything, and some movie directors hit the ground running when it came to their first feature film. Other initial cinematic efforts, however, were less than stellar. So, on this episode of Baconsale, Joel & Kent have each brought their top 7 & bottom 7 directorial debuts to share with you, the listener, and with Zack. Kent is covering some of the biggest filmmakers to come out of Hollywood (post-1980, of course), whereas Joel mostly seems to pick movies he likes (pre-2000, of course). Be prepared for some hot takes on some cool flicks as we slowly become film bros.   Whether you think it’s the director’s fault or the studio’s fault, get your iPhone face ready and press play!

The Baconsale interns are back! This time around, they have been hired by a temp agency to organize a shelter for animated animals. And it’s up to Joel, Kent & Zack to decide which famous fictional pets are going to be sold immediately, which ones are going to be around for a while, and which ones get to take a trip to a wonderful farm where they can run, play, or fly around freely. Our list for this episode includes such celebrated characters as Scooby-Doo, Iago, Garfield, Pascal, Heihei, Cerberus, Stitch, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Abu, and Perry the Platypus.   Press play to hear the marketing blurb for each pretend pet.

Baconsale is gearing up to go on an epic road trip to the Idaho Potato Museum, but first these best spuds need to create the ultimate driving playlist. Therefore, on this episode, Joel, Kent, and Zack have each brought 10 of their favorite traveling tunes to share with you. Some of our music delightfully fits a theme, some songs are perfect for vibing, and others will make you want to sing along. So buckle up, sit back, and enjoy the terrible snacks, even worse potato puns, regional humor, constant driver switching, wrong turns, and longest short trip ever. Pass the aux (or connect to the Bluetooth) and press play!   And if you’re the DJ on your next road trip, you can visit Baconsale.com to find our official Spotify playlist for this episode.

We’ve talked trilogies on Baconsale before, but now it’s time for us to tier them. We’ve created a large list of popular movie franchises and Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to rank the first batch of them. To be honest, we’re a little loose with the term “trilogy,” so there are some asterisks next to the names of certain film series, but they all at least include an original and two sequels. This time around we’ll be discussing such trilogies as Back to the Future, How to Train Your Dragon, Indiana Jones, Kingsman, Madagascar, Star Wars (Prequels), The Hobbit, and Three Flavours Cornetto.   It doesn’t matter if you’re a monkey or an ape, press play to hear us make multiple sandwich comparisons.

Let’s go, bub! The new Disney+ series X-Men '97 just finished its first season. Kent watched it, but Joel & Zack haven’t, so we’ve brought in some special guests for this BaconBit. Sam & Chad have joined our team and they’re ready to discuss the storytelling, the animation style, the surprising lack of Wolverine and, of course, civil rights. The first part of this review is spoiler-free, but after Joel leaves, the conversation will mutate into spoilers. Don’t worry. We’ll warn you before that happens, Chere.   Press play to hear our voices get older, but watch out for random Netflix noises!

If you’re looking for information about a fast-food sandwich shop that has sold over five billion classic roast beef sandwiches, we have the deets! On this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent, and Zack are discussing their latest quest: eating everything on the menu at Arby’s. Yes, we finally convinced Kent to conquer this restaurant, but has he become a Curly Fries convert? After giving a brief history of Arby’s, we’ll discuss our experiences as we ate each breakfast item, sandwich, Market Fresh option, side, and dessert. Then we’ll slice off some meaty facts about the app, expose our differing taste buds, share some saucy tidbits about red ranch, spell some things backwards, tell the tale of the Meat Mountain, and hold the cheddar.   Take off your oversized cowboy hat and press play to hear our best impersonations of Ving Rhames.

Every listener come and play! Throw every last care away! Let's go to the mall today on this episode of Baconsale. Remember malls? Joel, Kent, and Zack do, and it’s up to them to revitalize the industry by creating the perfect shopping center using the classic ‘90s game of M.A.S.H. We’re picking from stores you love, shops you hate, and retailers you may have completely forgotten about. Plus, we’ve added a lemon in each category to make things interesting. We’ll do our best to build the most satisfying & nostalgic shopping mall experience possible, and then it’s up to you to choose where you’d like to shop.   Watch out for high-pressure kiosk salespeople and press play!

If you’ve been Kraven to know which movies are coming out this summer, the Bad Boys of Baconsale are here to help. Joel, Kent, and Zack have explored the Borderlands of upcoming releases and they’re ready to tell you which ones they’re excited to see. And, in a plot twist of plot Twisters, we’re also going to turn things Inside Out and inform you about the movies we want to bomb. But there’s no need to get Furiosa and hire a Hit Man IF we, The Watchers of summer movie trailers, say something you disagree with. Don’t fall into that Trap. Just know that we’re not going to pick anything that comes out in The Fall, Guy.   Get over your Glenvy, Grunior, find A Quiet Place to listen, and press play.

Are you ready to walk the floor with Baconsale, listener? Our friend Kyler has a VIP pass, so he’s joining Joel, Kent, and Zack as a panelist on this episode to discuss conventions. There’s a con for everyone, no matter what your interests are, so we’re going to give you some general tips & tricks on how to have the most enjoyable experience possible. We’ll also be sharing some personal stories and suggesting rules of etiquette for everyone in attendance. And remember, if you have further questions about conventions after listening, the answer is always, “it depends on the con.”   Open the antler box, find a line buddy, and press play.

We’ve crowned a new Listener for the new year during our 446th episode, and now it’s time for Scott, Taylor, and Aleesha to combine forces against the pop culture powerhouse of Team JK. Joel & Kent may not know how to high-five each other, but their brains are full of useless trivia and their buzzer fingers are primed and ready. Will Team JK run away with it? Will Team Listener give Joel and Kent a run for their money? What are our feelings on water crackers? Why aren’t we allowed to consult with one another? Listen and find out.   Press play to hear even more judging from Zack and the peanut gallery.

Not every podcast celebrates their 446th episode, but we here at Baconsale do things differently. Since Chad has served two terms as The Listener, it’s time for him to peacefully step down and allow someone else to fill that vital role. Our contestants, Aleesha, Scott, and Taylor, have all proved they have what it takes during our pre-quiz, and now we’re going to test them on such pop culture topics as The Beatles, Baconsale brackets, movie cars, and late-night talk show hosts. We’ll spill a little tea (and soda), take on some tricky math, get judged by the peanut gallery and, of course, play the game of Baconsale.   Who will be our Listener for the next year? How many buzzer rounds will we do? Which question categories were inspired by Kent? Press play to find out!

We talk about movies & music all the time on Baconsale, so why not combine the two? Joel and Kent struggled while trying to decide which of their favorite music videos they should pick for categories such as Best Choreography, Favorite One-Hit Wonder Video, Most Inventive, and Made You Like the Song Less, whereas Zack is just trying to make the few music videos he’s seen in his life fit into each category. Nevertheless, we all decided that this episode is brought to you by Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” and we’ve also limited how many OK Go videos we can pick.   Whether you’re a fan of MTV, Fuse, VH1, The Box, YouTube, or Vevo, press play! Also, be sure to check out our YouTube playlist of the songs we try to describe on this episode.

Listener, we mustache you a question. What are your thoughts on the mouth brow? On this episode of Baconsale, we’re facing the facts about facial hair, and rating some of the most famous lip rugs from pop culture. First, we’ll give you a quick history of mustaches (moustaches?). Then we’ll share our combined list of the top 20 flavor savors and the bottom five face caterpillars, which we ranked according to fullness, shape, uniqueness, iconic-ness, and face completion…ness. And remember, we’re not judging the character of the person, we’re just pondering the power of their nose neighbor.   Press play to see who ends up on our Mt. Mustmore.

All right listener, rise and shine! And don’t forget your brackets because we’re going to finish our film of movies tournament! But how do you solve a problem like choosing between two great films? Well, if history has taught us anything, it's that Joel, Kent, and Zack can kill any movie. And once an idea has taken hold of their brains, it's almost impossible to eradicate. However, after each painful decision, we got to put our behind in our past, use the force, and show a little backbone. At times you may question how we can be so obtuse, or our picks may put you in the pit of despair or cause mass hysteria, however life finds a way and, we promise you, the dawn is coming.   You may get a little mad at this Baconsale episode, but your kids are gonna love it. Press play!   Debating with friends & family is a dangerous pastime, we know, but visit Baconsale.com to download our advanced bracket and play along.

And here we go! Last season, Baconsale did tournaments for action, comedy, drama, thriller & family films and now, oh yeah, it’s all coming together. With your help, we’ve narrowed it down to 64 of the previously discussed movies, and we’ve let the cold, cruel hand of random fate decide where they go on this bracket. And that’s all we have to say about that. Now it’s up to Joel, Kent, and Zack to choose wisely when it comes to which precious movies we must say “so long, farewell,” and which ones we deem to be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It’s not easy for us to decide, as if what we do in this episode echoes in eternity, and some of our decisions may unleash the ten plagues of Egypt upon us, but this is the business we've chosen, and we hope you’re able to free your mind and enjoy a whole new world as we begin this journey.   To make a long story short (too late!) press play to hear the first round of our film of movies tournament.   And visit Baconsale.com to download this bracket for when you’re

The Oscars started an hour earlier this year to help boost viewership, but it seems that only enticed Zack to watch them. Therefore, he’s going to give Joel & Kent (He’s Just Kent!) a brief recap of what happened at the 96th Academy Awards. Then we’ll quickly review who we picked, who you picked, and reveal the winner of our Baconsale ballot contest. Our eyes may see Oppenheimer, but we hope John Cena won’t awkwardly walk into the Baconcave wearing nothing more than an envelope. But at least we can look forward to a random (yet hilarious) plot summary for Field of Dreams.   Drop that 24-pound bag of V-dog vegan kibble dry dog food and press play!