Ain't That Swell

As we gear up for a long night in front of the Idiot Box to cheer on Jack Robbo, Ethan Heeeeeyeeeewing and Steph Gilmore at Trestles, we thought who better to give us the final ramp up on mastering the wave than former CT legend, Tsunami survivor, Woz analyst and 2003 Trestles Event Champion Richie Lovett? Get on board the Peen and let's hear it for STRAYA! GO YOU GOOD THINGS! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Iceman Cometh. X2 World Champ Dooma Hardman was a fearless, ruthless, calculated, competitive psychopath in his 15 years tour and he likes what he sees in the cold, hard belief of our Aussie World Title hopefuls Jack Robbo and Ethan Ewing. This is it. We’re almost there Swellians and if this interview doesn’t get ya riding a wheelie bin down ya main street with a Wardell pie in one hand and an ibis in the other than you must be as cold as Robbo in the final at G-Land needing a score with 15 seconds on the clock. Carn Straya! Carn Vortex Shaman! Carn Steph! Carn Heeeeyeeeeewing! Let’s bring these fuckers home!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are 14 CT World Titles between Swellian Queens Layne Beachley and Steph Gilmore, and Layne believes Steph has the runs on the board, the God-given talent and the PURE UNHINGED GRIT to add another at the upcoming Rippy Woz finals at Trestles. Know this Swellians, when the six-in-a-row Manly Beach-based Immortal offers sage advice, WE LEAN FORWARD! Marinate in the experience, wisdom and absolute class of a true Australian surfing great. Ya just might learn something.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ronnie Blakey, the John Farnham of Australian surf commentary, will be doing us proud in the booth at the Rip/Woz Finals. So what are his favourite World Title Showdowns in history? What has he liked about the 2022 CT season? What kind of A-Game will he be bringing to the broadcast? ...and will he wash the soap out of his peen eye before he gets a UTI? All this and more dealt with as we load up into the last few days before the hooter sounds at Trestles.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark 'Poochie' Isaac found himself front and centre during the unprecedented flooding that struck the Northern Rivers earlier this year. After saving lives and livestock on the back of a jet ski during the immediate stages of the catastrophe, he and several other volunteers set up Wardell C.O.R.E (Community Organised Resilience Effort) - a grass roots, workers' cooperative that spent the following weeks and months rebuilding the town of Wardell and the surrounding area. Their work created a blue print for a brave new future in which unpaid, highly skilled, workers cooperatives build and rebuild communities while circumventing the crippling debt and productivity theft characterised by late-stage capitalism. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nobody has reported on more World Title Showdowns than 23-time Gold Cone Piece Award Winner Nick Carroll (of House Frotherian). He was at Waikiki in 1914 when Duke Kahanamoku flogged Tom Blake's much loathed kook-box design on nothing but a piece of driftwood. He was at Manly in 64 when Phyllis O'Donnel and Midget shoved it fair up the seppo blow-ins to record the first "official" global championships. He saw the Wounded Gull steal everyone's chippies for four years straight, watched Layne and then Steph win 7 a piece, he sniffed the blood on the sand at Backdoor at the height of the Slater/AI war of 03, and he even watched his younger bruv, Sir Thomas Victor, throw away the un-losable crown in 88. Yep, he's marinated in every win and loss pro surfing has had to offer and boy oh boy does he have some insights into how this latest chapter of the Rip Woz Finals will play out at Trestles. On your feet Swellians, his Holy Frothness Nick Carroll hath entered thy building!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf

Last year Australia's most beloved supercoach Andy King helped orchestrate Gabriel Medina's total domination of the Rippy Woz Finals at Lower Trestles. This year, the King is back in Camp Oz, and he believes two World Title Trophies (men's and women's) could be making the flight down under when the fat hooters sing on finals day. Come with us into the throbbing Engine Rooms of all three Aussie Campaigns (Robbo, Eth and Steph) and discover why the King thinks the criteria is leaning our way. Hmaaaaad!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Olympian, 12-time CT Champion, Aussie Battler Icon and undisputed Swellian Queen Sally Fitzgibbons knows exactly what it's like to take on angry Goats at the Rippy Woz Finals having been there this time last year. So open your earhole and pour in her sweet nectar, cause Our Sal has got the goods on how this thing is gonna play outt!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last year the little-known battler mongrel icon Morgan Cibilic created history by becoming the first Aussie bloke to fight it out for a World Title at the entirely new single-day surf-off format at Rip Curl WSL Finals at Lower Trestles. Although he went down first heat to Conner Coffin, he done us heaps proud ay, and he's in a rarified position to know exactly what Ethan Ewing and Jack Robinson will be faced with as they enter finals week for the first time in their careers. So, what are the things to look out for, the dos and don'ts, and how can they take it that little bit further and bring a championship back to the land of ibis's and wheelie bins?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're only a week out and the Rippy Woz Finals Ramp Up has begun! Cop this: the 2012 World Champ and Pipeline Master Joel Les Parkinson reckons we're heading for an all-Aussie quinella. FARKEN BEWDY OR WHAT?!! Soak it in Swellians, if anyone knows... Parko's nose.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oli Firth was arrested on his way to Margaret River with 35 grams of psilocibin mushrooms.  He spent three months in Broken Hill prison, better known as NSW's 'punishment prison,' where he met Murray Cook (Warumpi Band/Midnight Oil) and the seeds of Couch Wizard - one of Smivvy's favourite bands - were sewn. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ain't That Swell's favourite son and Cronulla-born, core lord, cone fiend extraordinaire, Connor O'Leary, recounts his mondo pit fest at maxing Chopes against the Greatest of All Time, Kelly Slater, Miguel Pupo's win, what the Aussie Onion learned from the Brazilian Storm, plus a review of his 2022 World Tour season.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The 43 year old North Narrabeen former World Tour icon reflects on his landmark performance at the Outer Known Tahiti Pro. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Who stood tall and who capitulated when Joppo turned on the Jesus Juice? Smiv and Deadly head to the End of the Road to comprehensively dissect the heroism, hmaaadness and mondo corn-rinsing pack-fest that was the final CT event of the regular Woz season. Verdict? SHART! SHART everywhere! An all-time cone off spectacular right here at the home of Pure Tour Nerdism!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before we consider the ramifications of the year’s final CT event, shouldn’t we consider the audience growth potential of Tandem Surfing’s inclusion at the next Olympics? Shouldn’t we pontificate on the possibility of Kelly Slater replacing one of our beloved Woz commentator’s for next year’s broadcasts? And don’t we owe it to ourselves to explore what happened to CJ Hobgood when he entered the multi-verse of madness via a glitch cone in 2010 only to find himself in Maurice Cole’s rave cave? The answer to all the above is YES and the two-time Gold Cone Piece winner and his Goon mate have already purchased two-for-one priced shovels from Bunnings and are breaking dirt as we speak to get to the bottom of all this and more. Eureka cunts, it’s a Swellian classic!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Steph Gilmore, Griffin Colapinto and Kanoa Igarashi are all on the qualification bubble for the Rippy Woz World Titles at Trestles, but will the Outerknown Tahiti Pro deliver them the opportunity of a lifetime, or shatter their dreams into a million little pieces? Former-CT-Aussie-icon-turned-Supercoach Tom Whitaker is the sporting shaman to see them through the biggest contest of the year so far. Find out how they're preparing and what he's doing to get them in the zen zone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With all eyes on Chopes and the Battle for Rippy Woz Finals qualification, we speak with the 2012 World Champ, 2012 Pipe Master and 2012 Tahiti Pro Runner-up Joel Les Parkinson to give us his insights on how things are gonna play out. Flip the muesli bar, open your ears and poor in that sweet nasally nectar!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Straya rejoice! Nathan "The Hog" Hedge has been announced as the replacement wildcard for Gabby Medina at the OuterKnown Tahiti Pro kicking off in a matter of days. Ya boy Smivvy caught up with the insatiable tube pig to get his take on how to stuff ya face with endless vishnu at the End of the Road, who he thinks will make a fist of qualifying for the Rippy Woz finals under such extreme pressure, and how he won't give two hoots playing spoiler if the opportunity comes his way – a 10 point hole is a 10 point hole after all! Go the Hoggy! Go you good thing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it just us or is shit goin’ turbo bat shit crazy out there? This ep Smiv outruns the highway patrol in an unregistered shit box on the way home from Splendour. Swellpocalypse hmaaadman Max McGuigan gives us the inside word on dragging corn at Ours on the backside. We drop in on Lobby O’Brien at ANZAC lodge, Huntington Beach, where our Changaz Battlers are sharing a couch, a fridge, and a single roll of poo tickets. Cal Robbo calls in from Chopes and cops an all-time rev-up spray from ya boy Smivvy to get him over the line and into the Woz finals. There’s Goatwatch, Tulsiwatch, mondo cones galore with Loz Towner and we finally out the low-down dog who left an un-flushable cork in the SW house dunny the night Sally Fitz came to stay. Garn, into it ya mutts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Born and bred in Byron Bay, Torren Martyn is the surfer and adventurer featured in the Lost Track series, which has taken him across Australia by car, New Zealand by motorbike, Europe, North Africa and West Africa by van, and now South-East Asia by yacht.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.