Let's Parent On Purpose

The single most transformative Habit you can learn is the routine for mastering new habits. Today I share with you what I’ve learned over the years in creating consistent disciplines in my own life, and how I work to help my family do the same. If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Tweet this “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” @billgates Click To Tweet Success is nothing but a few simple disciplines repeated every day, while failure is nothing but a few simple errors repeated every day. @OfficialJimRohn Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why your brain LOVES habits Understanding the Habit Loop The Cue The Routine The Reward The value of immediate rewards in developing long term habits Why it’s so hard to stop a bad habit How Chocolate can help you lose weight The method I used to establish a regular routine of prayer and Bible Study before daylight every morning Resources Mentioned Understanding the

The Jesus Storybook Bible has become a happy tradition in my household.  Enjoy this reading from the opening chapter as you worship the King. If you enjoy the reading, check out The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. If you need some good Christmas music, there’s nothing better than Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God Have a Merry Christmas, and celebrate all that God is and has done in your life!   Jay

For episode 100 I’ve invited my favorite person on earth to join me!  My wife Emily has a life that’s worthy of a book.  She married a widower, adopted his daughter, walked through the journey of childhood leukemia with her oldest son, fostered and adopted, and is in the midst of a daily battle for the healing of a mentally ill child.  Any one of these challenges could be the most difficult thing someone has ever faced, and yet Emily has walked through them all at the same time. You’ll be encouraged and strengthen by our very honest conversation about expectations, anxiety, feelings of failure, and seeking the presence of Jesus when it feels like your world is falling apart. If you you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to help support the show, please consider becoming a patron Show Highlights Understanding the hand of Jesus during singleness and loneliness Marrying a widower Adopting a child who has lost their mother Getting involved with the messy foster system The pain and hurt of losing children you

I re-named this podcast after releasing it from “Teaching your children how to be wealthy” as the title was throwing people off track.  Your children are already wealthy.  They just need perspective. Jesus speaks on the topic of money more than any other single topic in the gospels. As parents, we have the duty to train our children how to be wealthy, especially as you realize how wealthy we already are! Don’t think your wealthy?  Explore the Global Rich List with your family: http://www.globalrichlist.com Tweet This If you make $50,000 a year you are in the top 0.31% of wealthy people in the world! Check out your family at http://www.globalrichlist.com Click To Tweet We need to recognize that we are currently wealthy right now. The only way you're not wealthy is if you pick an absurdly small standard of comparison. The below average American is among the wealthiest people in the history of the… Click To Tweet No one is defined by their possessions. But it would be really nice to be defined by your g

Leading your family in intentional study and worship feels so challenging, but it shouldn’t be.  Often the problem is that we’ve overcomplicated it. My good friend Shawn Bergen joins me today to share with all of us how he trained me to lead Family Worship in my own household.  You’ll be able to listen to this podcast and immediately apply the lessons learned tonight! You can do this! Tweet this: Get them a tutor... Find them a coach... Put them under a youth pastor... As a result, your job as a parent became more about driving the minivan and dropping them off to the institutions that train them - @visionaryfam Click To Tweet Failure is never final with the Father Click To Tweet Show highlights Our responsibility as parents is not to change our children, but to give room for the gospel to change them How to create the routine and habit of reading scripture and praying with their children Why dragging your children to church won’t fix their spiritual issues How to introduce Family Worship to your family

Today’s preteens are getting lost in the transition as they shift from childhood to adolescence.  During this unique time, they are not quite one thing and not quite another.  Author, speaker, and pastor Dan Scott gives us a fascinating glimpse into the rapidly changing world of a preteen.  Dan and I explore some of the insights I learned while reading his new book Caught In Between: Engage your preteens before they check out. Before (or after) listening, you can take this quiz to see how prepared you are to engage the world of preteens. Don’t forget, if you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to join a private parenting community, consider becoming a patron of the show at https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose You can enter a contest to win a free copy of Dan’s book if you tweet this by December 15: If you're wondering what's going on in the brain of your preteen, check out this book and podcast! https://amzn.to/2Q3uUd7 https://wp.me/p8bb8S-3aN @danscott77 #LPOP97 Click To Tweet   Tweet This

We’re entering the season filled with awe, wonder, gratitude, and dread.  It’s that time of year where we get to spend time with family we love.  Sometimes, we get to spend time with family who are easier to love at a distance. Let’s be honest, just because we grew up together doesn’t mean we now have the same worldview, parenting styles, standards, goals, or aspirations.   And sometimes we love every member of our family, and are mostly on the same page as them, but it’s just overwhelming when they all get together at once. Today I give you a handy guide to having less stress, more fun, and perhaps even eternally significant extended family gatherings this Thanksgiving and Christmas Steps Discussed Release yourself from the guilt of thinking you’re going to please everybody. Stop sabotaging the peace of all of the days leading up to your family gathering.   Make a plan.  Aim to stick with your plan.  Walk in grace when you cannot stick to your plan.  “How am I going to calendar these next few weeks with

As a youth pastor, I am sad to say the modern version of youth ministry has failed to produce spiritually healthy, mature disciples of Jesus. Fortunately, there is a better way: Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 Thoughts to Ponder Just a few generations ago a man was considered spiritually responsible if he led his family before the throne of God in prayer, read and taught the Scriptures at home, and led family devotions (among other things).Today parents are considered responsible if they find the church with the best staffed nursery an

You wear a lot of hats in your life, and each of those roles has several demands.  Life can feel extremely defeating when you feel like you stay overly busy but accomplish very little. Today I talk about a question that brings incredible clarity to your life, and can help massively simplify your “to-do” list.  Listen as I share what I learned from this gem of a book: The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results by Gary Keller Show Highlights The 80/20 rule Learning to do fewer things for greater effect It’s not that we have too little tie to do all the things we need to do, it’s that we feel the need to do too many things in the time we have Task and responsibility creep Cultural clutter Learning to give the greatest effort and energy to the thing that matters most Looking at your “To-do” list and discerning the “could-do” and “should-do” items The One Clarifying Question Applying the One Thing question to your Personal life Physical health Family life Job My “One Thing” in ea

It might feel like fall just started (or if you live in Florida, that summer never left), but the Holiday season is right around the corner.  Today I share some ideas for how you can set up your family to enjoy each other more, consume less, and make Jesus the true center of the season. You cannot be passive in the struggle against consumerism in your life. If your standard is whatever anyone else is doing for their kids, you will not win.Click To Tweet Highlights of the show include: Why experiences are better gifts than stuff Developing a “one in, one out” rule for possessions in your home Taking a family mission trip Aiming for gifts that stir creativity or unite in relationships The “3 gifts only, because that’s all that Jesus got” principle Make a big deal about what you are getting Jesus for Christmas Practicing Advent as a family Reading God’s word as a gift to Jesus Pick a family to bless Go together with your church to do big things for Jesus Pick a place to serve Bless the poorest of the poo

When award winning author & speaker Meg S. Miller discovered her husbands internet pornography addiction, her soul was crushed with waves of betrayal and anger.  But as she sought healing, she discovered that she was guilty of sin that had wounded his heart just as deeply.  As my guest on today’s podcast explains, this journey of discovery first brought her face to face with the Lord, and then spurred the healing of her marriage in a way she would have never imagined.  Get ready to be challenged as we discuss the path that led Meg to write Benefit of the Debt: How My Husband’s Porn Problem Saved Our Marriage https://amzn.to/2Cocxbg. I’ve honestly struggled to put together show highlights.  There are at least 50 powerful quotes I want to share. “Society, women are understandably angry. Men have messed up, men have messed up so much, and women are so angry. But at least men don’t have … At least men know it. My fear is that women don’t realize what damage we’ve done as well.” Meg S Miller Full transcript

15-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first 20 weeks.  For such a common occurrence, this comes as a shock to many families who experience the loss of a child in the womb.  Mom, teacher, and blogger Krissy Brynn Jackson joins me today and shares her journey from happily learning that she was pregnant to the loss and grieving of her second child.  Krissy wrestles through trying to understand why this happened, how do you honor the life of a human being that you never get to  raise, and how God brought healing and comfort to her family.  We talk about wrestling with unanswerable questions, the sovereignty of God, and how our pain and trials build character and help us be a blessing to others. Show highlights Comparing teaching, parenting, and working at Disney Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – October 15 Krissy’s Miscarriage story and my (Jay) miscarriage stories from our marriages What a miscarriage felt like vs. preconceived notions Having to have surgery after finding out there was n

There are certain habits and practices that work like compound interest in your child’s life.  If you can learn to identify the everyday opportunities, you may not see radical returns on any given day, but over the long term you will have a completely different family. Areas to consider in your routines: Drive time – everyone has to say one positive thing about everyone else Encouraging notes in backpacks, books, folders, or the wall of your house Dinner time – Roses and Thorns, sharing scripture, fun “what if” questions Bedtime prayer, reading, and review of the day Chores beyond their own personal responsibilities I’ve created an ebook that will help you with questions and activities to make each of these key routine times in your life easier, and more important, fruitful.  Get it here – https://mailchi.mp/ad8281338869/lpopebook If you came here accidentally looking for financial wisdom, let me recommend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace – https://amzn.to/2yf2lyg If you would like to support Let’s Parent on P

Many parents fear the influence of public schools on their children.  But God is using students across the country to bring the light of the gospel to their peers.  Chris Lane, Executive Director of First Priority of South Florida, joins me to share stories of God moving on public school campuses and how parents can best equip their children to be salt and light. Here is the link to the Free Resource mentioned in the episode: https://mailchi.mp/ad8281338869/lpopebook I created this to help you have high quality conversations with your kids during your morning routines, drive times, meal times, and bedtime. If you want to know more information about First Priority (or become a prayer/financial supporter) visit http://www.firstpriority.cc  

Sometimes we just need to hear a happy, encouraging story.  Josh Luecht is a friend of mine who is a Calvary Chapel Pastor, teacher, and co-host of the Panther Parkway Podcast (following the Florida Panthers Hockey Team). He was also adopted as a baby out of the Catholic Charities system.  After a life of contentment and fulfillment with his adoptive family, this summer his story took a surprising twist. Enjoy the story and be encouraged to get involved with foster and adoption!

What you feed will grow, what you starve will die.  Understanding the way conflict and circumstances flame your anger and anxiety frees you to chose a new source of emotional fuel.

Every spouse has specific ways they best give and receive love.  Additionally, depending on circumstances and the season of life, you’ll find that certain felt needs rise to the top and seem to overshadow all of their current met needs. Learn how you can recognize and meet your spouse’s greatest need. Resources mentioned in this podcast: His Needs Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Failure is a natural part of a child’s life.  They way we respond to their failures (and ours) will steer them towards egomania, paralyzing fear, or optimistic self confidence.  Today I’ll share how we can produce resilient optimists by celebrating the lessons learned through failure.

My good friend (and top 5 finisher for the Florida State Teacher of the Year) Patrick Farley joins me again for a very helpful explanation of philosophy and methods behind Common Core.  As a parent, I’ve mostly been frustrated with my inability to help my 4th grader do math homework.  As a Christian, I’ve heard concerns that Common Core is designed to destroy my children’s moral foundation. Patrick helps walk me through the truth and the hyperbole. If you have friends that are educators, I HIGHLY encourage you to have them check out Patrick’s excellent Youtube channel “Mr. Farley”, where he equips and encourages educators. What do you think?  What has been your experience with Common Core?  Did the podcast sway you? If you need help walking through specific lessons or concepts in Common Core, check out Khan Academy.

One year, one week, and one day ago we celebrated my son’s last dose of chemo.  On this week’s podcast I share the essay I wrote for that occasion, as well as thoughts from a dad with one full year of no treatment and no relapse under our belt. Here’s my original essay: We are done with chemo, and I’m a little bit afraid. As of today, we are done with all chemo treatment.  I can’t believe I’m actually writing this. On April 14, 2014, our family’s world was turned upside down when we were told our little 5 year old boy had Leukemia.  I remember the first night in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, watching the nurse come into our room over and over again, switching out bags of blood and other medicines. I didn’t know much about leukemia at the time, I’m not even sure I was positive it was cancer before Elijah got it.  I knew enough that first night to stay off the internet. There are lots of leukemias, and our boy only had one of them.  Until they gave it a specific name, I didn’t want to walk in the horror o