Alan Weiss' The Uncomfortable Truth

Let me harshly deal here with people who provide you with feedback you didn’t ask for, don’t require, and can’t use. That applies to feedback which is too positive as well as too negative. We talk here about the trivialists, the hypocrites, the projectionists, and the general pains in the ass. Those who claim the only thing to do with feedback is to consider it are directing you toward the life of the ping pong balls or pickle balls being whacked back and forth. You’ll hear some of my standard replies when offered unsolicited feedback and why even my mother fell into my feedback hell. No one is erecting statues to critics in the park, even to replace those Columbus statues so ardently removed. We honor creators, not critics. Thus: Defend yourself against the time wasters and underminers and passive-aggressives who would, with a patina of supposed good intention, try to derail you. Our job is not to please everyone, not to be liked, but rather to help improve people and be respected. We do that through

Seth Magaziner and I met when he ran for, and served as, Rhode Island State Treasurer for eight years. I asked that we make this conversation non-partisan, to which he agreed, and as always was gracious with his time and accessibility. We talk about his view of the three biggest issues he sees facing America: climate change, income and opportunity inequality, and the rise of non-democratic movements inside and outside of the country. He talks about the House of Representatives as the purest elected part of government, since Senators can be appointed by governors when the office falls vacant, and the President is actually placed in office by the Electoral College. (Originally and Constitutionally, Senators were appointed by state legislatures and there was no popular vote until the 17th Amendment in 1913.) The discussion covered Ukraine, a war that originally was to see Russia in Kiev in two weeks, and is now in its 500th+ day with Russia on the defensive. I asked what we learned about our own military pre

What do you mean? What do we mean? What is “meaning”? We seem to be engaged existentially in some search for meaning. The Beatles were famous for a spiritual odyssey with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. We seek such spiritual guidance in many (often strange) forms: sweat tents, therapy, 12-step programs, trodding on hot coals. The meaning in our lives needn’t be religious or spiritual, but one would think it’s above and beyond the trite and every day, sort of a North Star providing guidance. Yet it’s often normative, derived from others. We compulsively seem to emulate others’ styles, behaviors, and beliefs. The definition of meaning is “an important and worthwhile quality or purpose.” We often consider it a magical breakthrough. We picture the guru on the mountaintop (somehow living without running water or electricity, but strangely content) to be consulted and answering in runic complexity. Is this a practical pursuit? Does it matter? Does it make a difference in our daily lives, suiting us when it’s convenien

I could share theater stories with Tony all day long. As both an actor and director of great stature, his knowledge of the theater and its strengths and weaknesses is impressive. We talk about the myth of the “dying” theater and the “aging” demographic. Tony points out that both the theater and the audiences have been “dying” since birth, to be replaced by new cohorts. His view is that people most appreciate the arts in their middle age and beyond. It’s not all that surprising that younger people often have far less interest. I brought up the “drama within a drama” when an audience medical emergency stops a play, and those times when the “fourth wall” needs to be broken (or shouldn’t be). We’re both big Kevin Kline fans, and we have appropriate “fourth wall” stories (Tony’s is far better). Money is a chronic problem for the arts, because debt kills the ability to experiment and the freedom to fail. It’s dangerous for the arts to become conservative and afraid. We’ve both been colleagues of Oskar Eustis,

Remember “the benefit of the doubt”? That was meant to convey the belief that, when something was in doubt, give the other person a break. Don’t assume guilt, or fault, or ulterior motive. Maybe it was just a mistake, or an accident, or your misunderstanding. So we tended to ask, “Is that what you meant to say?” or “Why exactly did you do that?” or “Perhaps I’m not understanding this correctly.” We also forgave people when it was their fault, they did make an error. Marriages generally have not ended because of a forgotten anniversary or the divorce rate would be even higher than it is. Today, we almost always assume fault and flaw, and often we assume malice. We don't just believe someone inadvertently causes us pain, we default to the belief that they intentionally wanted to harm us. We don’t see accidents, we see conspiracies. And we don’t forgive or forget. We get even. We’ve moved light years away from “Do unto others….” to “undo others.” The other person isn’t wrong or even mistaken, they are ignor

Randy told me once that you don’t end poverty by creating more of it. He’s an independent thinker on prosperity and success. He doesn’t connect prosperity solely to financial well-being, but rather to an intelligent combination of factors, happiness being one of them. He very pessimistic about our news sources and you’ll be fascinated by his personal, daily routine. He actually times himself on Twitter and eschews the other social media platforms. He’s overall an optimistic guy, but admits his pessimism has slightly increased of late. (Here’s his blog post on social media killing prosperity: https://randygage.com/social-media-is-killing-your-prosperity/) We both agree that young people have it harder today with extreme normative pressures, poor educations, and more limited opportunities. Once upon a time you were graduated from college with an assortment of useful business and life skills. Today, not so much. Consequently, we discuss the “fall of conventional universities” and their increasing irrelevance.

Guido and I have known each other for a quarter century. He introduced my concept of value-based fees in Germany in building his multi-million euro boutique consultancy. We talk here about the post-pandemic atmosphere in Germany and in Europe. These issues include: • labor shortages • remote vs. in-person work • post-Brexit realties • existential vs. pragmatic issues We discuss what his clients are most concerned about today, and whether those concerns are valid. As is the case elsewhere, we examine the motivation, productivity, and work ethic of people in organizations, and what they’re seeking. On the morning we chatted it was reported that Germany had “slipped into recession” and Guido pointed out the irony of the government complaining that consumers weren’t spending enough! The difference between strategic business and tactical concerns, relative to the nature of the types of meetings was an important distinction in communication which we can all learn from. And we examine the current French env

How much have times changed in the past 50 years? What is the difference in view point, expectation, and options for college graduates today versus those in 1968? Of course, 1968 was no picnic. The Tet Offensive raged in the Viet Nam War, Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated, and the inner cities burned. But in ’68, seniors in college became engaged and married soon after graduation, having children in the next few years. That was the sequence then, as religious institutions, schools, and the family dinner table imparted values. An “intact family” (two parents married for the first time and one or more children) constituted 85% of all family units. Today that number is 7%. That is not a misprint. In ’68, young adults were looking at rental apartments leading to buying a home, independence, jobs, travel (no matter how modest), reliance on an extended family—the world was wide open for us. Today, there is the sinkhole of social media, dismal job prospects with ugly commutes or distracting

50s: Constancy, GI Bill, Levittown, Sputnik, Korean War, Univac, DNA discovered, Joe McCarthy, Hungarian uprising, Montgomery bus boycott 60s: Kennedys shot, King shot, Woodstock, the Beatles, Watts riot and cities burn, Cuban missile crisis, Viet Nam, Bay of Pigs, first televised presidential debate, USSR had hydrogen bomb 70s: Kent State shootings, Watergate, Nixon and Agnew resign, Mars landing, Viet Nam ends, gay liberation movement 80s: CNN begins, Iranian hostages released, Falklands war, Sandra Day O’Connor first female on Supreme Court, Sally Ride first woman astronaut, Challenger explodes, Macintosh computer, Cold War ends with Reagan/Gorbachev, Berlin Wall falls, intense materialism and consumerism, MTV emerges 90s: LA riots, Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine shootings, Persian Gulf War, TWA flight 800 is blown up, relative peace and prosperity, end of USSR, rise of the Internet, Dow Jones clears 2,900 for first time 00s: Al-Qaeda attacks world trade center and Pentagon 9/11, Department of Home

Chris gave up his commission as a full Colonel in Afghanistan to assist three, four-star generals and two Secretaries of State to try to negotiate with the Taliban. He was the only combat officer ever asked to do so. The lessons he learned he’s applied to both business and charity. Chris specializes in helping leaders, entrepreneurs, and our “wounded warriors.” We talk about the readily-transferable leadership traits that lead to success in private business, including the great discipline and self-accountability that we encounter in most officers. But then there is the difficulty in moving from a world where feedback from below is rarely solicited—and Chris demonstrates how that can best be accomplished—to one where it’s essential to listen to subordinates and customers. He explains his battlefield webinars where executives learn “on the ground” why battles were won or lost, and then examine what those principles mean in their own businesses and lives. You’ll hear about Chris’s remarkable work with woun

Learn how I’ve been banned from Linkedin, though not why, because none of us knows why. Consider what might happen to you—with your business, a special event, your reputation—when these aloof, powerful social media platforms simply use stupid algorithms and poorly trained people. Social media are really public utilities at this point and, as much as I’m not a fan of big government control, I do think they need to be controlled just as the gas, electric, and water companies are. Imagine if your accountant, or attorney, or architect refused to talk to you in person and required only automated interactions? How long would you stand for that? What Zuckerberg et. al. created and, too ironically, Musk is now a part of, has morphed into cesspools of disinformation, misinformation, and confirmation bias. I’m told by several people who are social media savvy that only 15% of members post over 75% of content, and 100% of the 15% are either radicals on the right or left. If you want to post photos of family vacations

Macroaggressions should be pretty obvious, but even they are often ignored because they are too common. I’ve been involved in shining a light on them for some clients. “Micro” means small and often “unimportant.” So what are “microaggressions”? Well, it certainly is rude to ask an Asian student you don’t know to help with your math homework, which is based on a stereotype. It’s equally rude to ask 6’6” black people if they’re at the university on a basketball scholarship. I know a priest who is that size and immediately says to new people that he never played sports. He’s rather dour at times, and I think it’s because he’s seen too much rudeness that other people simply think is humor. “Dour” isn’t good for a priest. Recently, the leading candidate for superintendent of Easthampton Public Schools claimed he lost his job offer for using the word “ladies” in an email to two women on the board. He said he was “shocked” because he “grew up in a time when ‘ladies’ and ‘gentlemen’ was a sign of respect.” Some of

It’s seldom that you can receive uncomplicated answers about the economy and the impact of these turbulent times. Ask five “experts” and you’ll get seven opinions. So I was overjoyed that Lee Duckworth and Larry Dooley from Capital Wealth Management were able to join me and respond to questions about unemployment, bank failures, the Fed’s actions, the TINA principle, and the TARA principle. (I hadn’t heard of these, either, but they make a lot of sense and you’ll see how they’re changing when you listen to the interview.) We chat about the primacy of cash for individuals and organizations in turbulent times, and what some bare minimums are to consider. I’ve always advised people entering professional services that they should have a minimum of six months of regular expenses in the bank when they launch their practice. Find out if I’m right or wrong. We discuss the very low unemployment we’re experiencing and the fact that there are two jobs for every person seeking one. We review consumer spending, especia

We are largely in conflict with ourselves. This is assured to be destructive to everyone. One person complains that their sixth grader saw the great art work, The David, complete with genitalia, of course, and the teacher is fired. A solitary coach praying on a football field after a game, win or lose, is voluntarily joined by some players and a few parents feel that this is a tectonic issue of church and state, despite the fact that athletes performing well and entertainers receiving awards regularly thank God in gesture and words. Politicians with opportunities in front of them are struggling to deny that they have ever said “defund the police” even though their statements have been captured on tape. We use the “woke” and grammatical horror “they” to refer to individuals, so that the listener doesn’t know if the reference is to one person or a group or a nation. Some doctors are actually endorsing physically-altering therapy for pre-teens and teenagers who claim they identify with the opposite gender.

I’ve known Suzanne for about 20 years. She is the relatively rare example of the founder of a boutique firm who successfully built up its valuation, decided to sell, found the right time to sell, overcame the interruption of the pandemic, and closed with an international buyer. Her journey is a huge example of talent, success, and plain grit. Originating in the media business as a news anchor, she migrated to communications education and training, offering her coaching services and gradually built a company which obtained Fortune 500 clients. She describes, in this interview, the challenges encountered and overcome, often not so easily. (She started preparing to sell five years before the sale was actually consummated.) We talk about the impact today of remote learning, ChatGPT, and leadership in ambiguous times. While it may sound grandiose to say that AI will “change the world,” there are precedents, such as the Industrial Revolution, right down to the advent of the internet (which no one predicted). Shou

Why is it that I trust the doctor when he simply says, “You look healthy, don’t worry, you’re not sick”? The first 90 seconds of your speech will determine how closely people pay attention to you. Not if they pay attention, but to what degree. It’s the difference between them taking notes and asking questions on the one hand, and checking their email under the table on the other. That applies to what you write, your conversations, and what you record, as well. We tend to immediately make conscious or unconscious notes about peoples’ attire, table manners, language, sense of humor, attitude, attention and focus, and emotions. Books are often judged by their covers. Haven’t you found that the plane’s cleanliness or lack thereof can affect your trip, or that the auto dealer’s service area gives you a lot more confidence when it’s spotless and uncluttered? What about the hotel lobby, and the doorman or desk agent? And certainly, when visiting a home, you take into account the grounds, the interior, the layou

Steven and I have known each other for over a decade. He’s an expert on a widely-studied field—teams—and a field not studied enough—honesty. In this conversation he explains about fear being the cause of a lack of honesty. He explains the novel notion that “It’s not what we say, but what we don't say.” Steven does believe that honesty is making a comeback, contrary to what many people may think. We talk about the government actually rewarding “whistleblowers” to come forward by offering seven- and even eight-figure payments, and the problems that creates when people make false accusations to try to get some of that money. We discuss the modern “guilty until proven innocent” reversal that seems to have taken hold of society and the media, as embodied by TSA: Prove to us that you’re not a terrorist. Steven doesn’t feel the pandemic dramatically changed teamwork but he does see a trend to get people back into the office because socialization is a huge part of effective teamwork, and you can’t do that remotely

In dealing with a global community of thousands—and hundreds of thousands who have read my books—I’m able to keep my finger on the pulse of the profession and its clients. I’m sharing in this podcast some of the repetitive discussions and challenges that are extant internationally. For example, “remote” now rules. It’s often the default interaction, and often represents more value, not less. (A huge amount of time and money are saved.) However, leaders are not sure how to deal with combinations of remote, onsite, and hybrid employees. They are frustrated that they’re not getting their “40 hours” of productivity from them, when, in fact, even employees in the office physically are not providing 40 hours of productivity! This goes back to “Scientific Management” and Frederick Winslow Taylor in the early 20th Century, the first time-and-motion consultant. The problem is that he fudged his numbers and never factored in fatigue and boredom. Supply chains are changing, but they’re changing from global (do we rea

Connie is a former anchor on two major networks. She has moved from broadcasting to coaching, consulting, and speaking with remarkable ease. She’s created her own psychometric testing instrument, and has clients on six continents. I’ve had the pleasure of working with her for many years, and her innovation about, and intelligence in, leadership and executive presence is creating state-of-the art interventions. We talk about the relationship of charisma, presence, and leadership. She tells us about how she became engaged in places such as Kuwait and Dubai, dealing with inclusion and equity.  Connie raises the issue of those who think they’re influential but really are not. (My term is “legends in their own zip code”). We focus on the differences among manipulation and actual, long-term, mutually supportive influence.  I ask her about the effectiveness of leaders in remote and hybrid environments and about the changes necessary intergenerationally. When I asked about a leader who exemplifies her beliefs abo

Well, is this a further step in the dehumanization of civilization, or a Jonestown Kool Aid romp, or another Y2K flop? When you put a variety of documents or fictional passages through the system, I find they are seldom improved and often seriously injured. In some cases, such as in instructions or directions, I think there is huge potential. But I examine in this podcast the downsides of people jumping on this latest “bandwagon” amid the pet rocks and hula hoops. Are we eager to “homogenize” writing? Or eager to duplicate with grammar what we’ve done with math, which only a few people seem to be able to do in their heads anymore. (I fall down laughing at people who can’t figure out a tip in a restaurant, so that the restaurants overcome this by suggesting percentages to tip and the amounts represented therein.) What does this mean for dissertations or term papers? What does it mean for book proposals or reviews? Are we going to live in a world of automated writing, automated math, autonomous cars, and sy