The Art Of Manliness

Ernest Hemingway's classic novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls, is often designated as one of the greatest books about war ever written and has appeared on the Marine Corps recommended reading list. Today on the show, I unpack For Whom the Bell Tolls with Hemingway scholar Mark Cirino. We discuss the background of the novel, its themes, and the literary techniques Hemingway employed in writing it. We end our conversation with our picks for the "one true sentence" in the book.Resources Related to the Podcast Mark's last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #786 — The Writing Life of Ernest Hemingway AoM Podcast #219: The Real Life Story of Hemingway and The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway: Thought in Action by Mark Cirino One True Sentence: Writers & Readers on Hemingway’s Art edited by Michael Von Cannon and Mark Cirino AoM Podcast #871: Jane Austen for Dudes Mark Salter's appearance on the One True Podcast “Big Two-Hearted River” by Ernest Hemingway Connect With Mark Cirino One True Podcast One True Podcast

In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there are certain principles like timing, leverage, and positioning that practitioners must master to successfully overcome an opponent. My guest has found that these same principles that allow someone to be successful on the mat, also apply to being successful outside of it.Rener Gracie is the co-owner and head instructor of Gracie University and the author of The 32 Principles: Harnessing the Power of Jiu-Jitsu to Succeed in Business, Relationships, and Life. Today on the show, Rener shares how he’s used some of the core teachings of jiu-jitsu, like the Pyramid Principle and the River Principle, in his business, and how you can use them to grapple with all kinds of obstacles in life.Resources Related to the Podcast Art of Manliness + Gracie Intro to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Videos: Part 1 — The History Part 2 — The Basics I Part 3 — The Basics II Part 4 — The Philosophy Rener‘s last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #446: How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Will Make You a Better Man Gracie Un

Over the last decade, cannabis use has been legalized in more states. At the same time, the idea that marijuana is a safe drug has steadily increased.But is this an accurate perception?Recent research by my guest, Dr. Ryan Sultan, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University, casts some doubt on a universally affirmative answer to that question, and he says we need to be having a more objective, balanced, and nuanced conversation around cannabis than we currently are. We have exactly that kind of conversation today on the show. We dig into the fact that young adulta are the group most vulnerable to the potentially negative effects of cannabis and how marijuana use in adolescence is linked to both mental illness and cognitive deficits. Dr. Sultan unpacks how cannabis impacts the developing brain and may lead to schizophrenia, especially in males. We also talk about whether if you used marijuana as a young adult and then stopped, your brain can still recover, and a cannabis-related health concern f

If you want insight on how to make love last, you might ask friends, family, a therapist, or a pastor for advice. You probably wouldn't think to turn to a divorce lawyer. But my guest, James Sexton, who does that very job in New York City, says there may be few people who have a better perspective on how to hold a marriage together, than the guy who's got a front row seat to how they fall apart.James is the author of If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together, and today on the show he shares what he's learned from overseeing over a thousand divorces that you can use to reverse engineer a relationship that lasts. We discuss the five types of infidelity James sees in his practice and the approach to marriage that will prevent affairs. We then get into common sources of conflict in a marriage, including sex, finances, and kids, and how to address these issues so you never end up in James', or any other divorce lawyer's, office.Resources Related to the Podcast AoMP

There are tons of podcasts, blog posts, and books about how to get more focused. Focus is seen as the key to greater productivity and success.While focus is important, my guest says there are also amazing powers to be found in something that gets a lot less attention: the unfocused mind.Dr. Srini Pillay is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, a brain-imaging researcher, and the author of Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind. Today on the show, Srini explains the downsides of excessive focus, the importance of tapping into the unfocused mind, especially in the age of A.I., and the benefits of doing so, including how mind wandering can help you be more productive and creative, allow you to see greater possibilities for your life, and offer important insights that will get you unstuck from problems. He shares strategies to incorporate unfocused time into your lifestyle, including how to make daydreaming more beneficial and why you should let yourself doodle without guilt. Srini also makes

Note: This is a rebroadcast.In the quiet moments of our lives, we can all sense that our hearts long for something, though we often don't know what that something is. We seek an answer in our phones, and while they can provide some sense of extension and fulfillment — a feeling of magic — the use of technology also comes with significant costs in individual development and interpersonal connection that we typically don't fully understand and consider.My guest today will unpack what it is we really yearn for, how technology, when misused, can direct us away from the path to fulfilling those yearnings, and how we can find true human flourishing in a world in which so much works against it. His name is Andy Crouch and he's the author of The Life We're Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World. Today on the show we talk about the tradeoffs you make when you seek magic without mastery, and how we can understand our desires better once we understand ourselves as heart, soul, mind, and strength c

Note: This is a rebroadcast.When most people think about losing weight, they think about the details of a diet plan — what food to eat, how much of it to eat, and when to eat it. What they don't spend enough time working on, are the mental and emotional habits that can sabotage their efforts, regardless of the diet plan they adopt.That's why my guest today, despite being a biochemist, has made mindset the foundation of his approach to losing weight. His name is Dr. Trevor Kashey and he's the founder of Trevor Kashey Nutrition (TKN). We begin our conversation with a thumbnail of Trevor's unique background, which includes earning his first university degree in biochemistry at the age of 17, setting national records in powerlifting, and coaching an Olympic fight team, as well as how he went from coaching elite athletes to helping average folks lose weight. We then talk about why Trevor focuses on bridging the gap between knowledge and action, and the erroneous assumptions people make that keep them from followin

Personality tests sometimes come in for criticism these days for not being very accurate or helpful or for putting people into boxes. And it’s true that no test can ever entirely peg the complexities of personality, and they shouldn’t be applied with too much rigidity. But what these tests are useful for is serving as a prompt for reflecting on the particular ways you think, feel, and act, and, perhaps even more importantly, getting you to think about the fact that other people can see and approach the world in ways that are fundamentally different from your own.I haven’t found a personality test that better serves as this kind of tool than what’s called the “People Code” or the “Color Code,” which categorizes people into four colors: Reds, Blues, Whites, and Yellows. I’ve found it uncanningly insightful in helping me understand myself and others better, and it’s become a regular topic of conversation amongst my family and friends.Today I talk to the creator of the Color Code Personality Profile, psychologist

We often suppose that wars are fought over things like resources, border disputes, and ideologies. My guest calls this "the spreadsheet approach to war" and argues that, in reality, such factors only come in as justifications for the much deeper drives at play.Mike Martin is a Senior Visiting Fellow in the Department of War Studies, King's College London and the author of Why We Fight. Today on the show, he draws on his background in biology and experience serving in the British army to offer an explanation as to why individuals and nation-states go to war. Mike argues that there are two fundamental impulses behind the drive to war: the drive for status and the drive for belonging. We discuss these motivations and how leaders and ideologies corral and amplify them. We end our conversation with how this view of war could prevent conflicts and allow them to be fought more successfully, and also be a lens for how to help men flourish in a healthy way.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM series on status AoM seri

When someone asks us to do something we don’t want to do, we often say yes even though we want to say no, because we think that saying no will feel terrible. But my guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick, says the opposite is true: we actually feel great when we say no.So why do we have such a hard time doing so?Today on the show, Vanessa, who’s the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life, answers that question and more. She shares how to categorize the asks you get into quadrants to determine whether you should say yes or no to them. And she explains how to give an “empowered refusal” — a no that’s phrased in a way that makes it less likely to create offense or pushback — so you can start saying no to the things that don’t matter, and spend more of your time on the things that do.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: How to Firmly Say No Without Coming Off Like a Jerk AoM Article: A Better Way to Say No Sunday Firesides: Give the Gift of No AoM Arti

As you move through time, you exist as a present self who makes decisions, an in-between self who should carry out those decisions, and a future self who will benefit from those decisions. Yet as we all know, in-between self often fails to follow through on what present self resolves, leaving future self pretty bummed out.The solution to this dilemma, my guest says, is for your present self to become much better friends with your future self.His name is Hal Hershfield, and he's a professor of marketing, behavioral decision making, and psychology, and the author of Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today. Hal and I spend the first part of our conversation taking a really interesting philosophical dive into what the self even is. We talk about why our future self can feel like a stranger, why it's hard to know what he'll be like, and what this dilemma has to do with becoming a vampire. We then discuss how building a stronger connection with your future self makes your present self more willing to he

While studying history back in the 1990s, Neil Howe and the late William Strauss noticed something: there seemed to be a pattern to history that repeated itself again and again. Howe and Strauss developed a theory that history moves in 80-100-year cycles divided into four 20-25-year "turnings": the High, Awakening, Unraveling, and Crisis.Neil Howe argues that we are currently living through a Fourth Turning, and today on the show, we unpack what that means. Neil is a historian, demographer, and economist, and his latest book is The Fourth Turning Is Here. The crisis of the Fourth Turning isn't a historical event — it's a generation-long era that sometimes seems to be getting better, sometimes seems to be getting worse, and moves through several phases before reaching a climax and resolution. Neil explains what these phases look like, which ones we've already been through and which are still to come, and when he thinks our Fourth Turning will end and the cycle of history will start over. In the second part of

Lately, I've been talking to my son Gus about considering a career in the trades. A lot of the white collar jobs out there don't seem very fulfilling, and A.I. is going to make more and more of them disappear. But skilled tradesmen are in demand, and that demand is only going to grow. One option I've floated to Gus is to still go to an affordable college, for the mind expansion and social opportunities, but then, instead of going on to get a graduate degree, as so many young people do, he could go to trade school instead.That's one potential route should he be interested, but I sure wish he could be exposed to the trades while he's still in secondary education. All states have forms of what's called "Career and Technical Education," or CTE, but in most places, it's set up in a patchwork fashion; the programs are run by local schools that partner with other institutions that offer instruction in the trades.The state of Connecticut does things differently. They have a one-of-a-kind CTE system, which, as one jou

If you’re an athlete, you know that it can be helpful to get psyched up before a big game. But getting in the right mindset is important in any kind of high-stakes scenario, whether you want to perform your best in a big meeting, presentation, interview, audition, or conversation.My guest has some tips he gleaned from interviewing athletes, soldiers, entertainers, and executives on how to find that mindset. His name is Daniel McGinn, and he’s the author of Psyched Up: How the Science of Mental Preparation Can Help You Succeed. The first step to getting into an optimal mindset is managing negative emotions, so we begin our conversation with what works in mitigating stress and anxiety. From there we talk about how to get others psyched up with an effective pep talk and why the leaders who came out of WWII used the classic rah-rah style more than leaders do today. We then discuss the role of music in getting yourself psyched up and what Daniel learned from the DJ for the Red Sox about crafting the perfect pump-u

The last time we had entrepreneur, professor, and author Luke Burgis on the show, he discussed the concept of mimetic desire, which says that we want the things we want because other people want them. Since that time, Luke has continued to explore the idea of mimesis, and how to resist its negative consequences, in his Substack: Anti-Mimetic. Today on the show, Luke and I dig into these ideas and discuss ways we can step outside the tempo, cadences, and priorities that the world would foist upon us and establish our own rhythms for our lives. Luke unpacks what it means to have “thick desires” and become a “political atheist” and how these concepts can help you live a more anti-mimetic life.Resources Related to the Podcast Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis Luke’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #714 — Why Do We Want What We Want? Leisure: The Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper  Deceit, Desire, and the Novel by René Girard The Red and the Black by Stendhal AoM Ar

Throughout each day, all of us make little shifts in our roles and responsibilities; we take off one hat and put on another. Sometimes these shifts are physical, as when we commute from home to the office. Other times, the shifts are mental, as when we finish working on an administrative task and start working on a creative one.My guest calls these little shifts “microtransitions” and says that mastering them is a significant key in living a happy, fulfilled, and successful life. His name is Dr. Adam Fraser and he’s a peak performance researcher and the author of The Third Space. As Adam explains, in each microtransition, there are three spaces: the first space which is the task, role, or place you’re leaving behind, the second space, which is the task, role, or place you’re transitioning to, and the third space which is the in-between transition itself. To make an ideal microtransition, you break that third space into three phases, and Adam walks us through how to execute each one so you can show up as your

When Americans think back to the War of Independence, most are apt to feel that, had they lived back then, they would have been Patriots for sure. In retrospect, the decision to rebel and get out from under the thumb of British rule seems inevitable. Yet only around a third of colonists ever declared themselves as revolutionaries, and even among the country's Founding Fathers, it wasn't always obvious if they would stay loyal to Great Britain or become rebels, right up until the signing of the Declaration of Independence.As H.W. Brands, historian, professor, and author of Our First Civil War explains, the decision to align with the side of the Loyalists or the Patriots was complex, and not only had to do with the kind of policy issues we often think about in regards to the war, but also personal factors related to respect and ambition. He talks about how George Washington and Benjamin Franklin were actually very unlikely Patriots and what ultimately got them to embrace the revolutionary cause, and why Frankli

When you’re walking in the woods, you’re often surrounded by trees. But you probably don’t notice them much, and when you do spot some irregularity, like a strange bulge in the trunk of a tree, you likely don’t have any idea how it got there. But my guest says that these trees you’re passing by have all kinds of stories to share, and once you learn their language, they can tell you all sorts of secrets about the world, and even help you navigate it.Tristan Gooley is an adventurer, expedition leader, natural navigator, and author of How to Read a Tree. Today on the show, he unpacks the clues in a tree’s shape, branches, bark, roots, and leaves, what they can tell you about the environment, and how they can help you find your way. We also talk about what looking at a tree stump can reveal, the hidden seasons in trees, and the first place to look in a tree to spy fall foliage. We end our conversation with how to get started with reading trees today.Resources Related to the PodcastTristan’s previous appearances o

My flight was awful. The restaurant's service was terrible. The traffic was horrible. My boss is the worst. Our culture is the stupidest.Whenever we get together with other people, we hear lots of complaints, and plenty come out of our own mouths.All this complaining may be ubiquitous, but it's not entirely innocuous. Complaining puts us in a negative mood, hurts our health, and damages our relationships.If you've ever wanted to complain less, my guest today has some advice on how to break the complaining habit and embrace a more positive and proactive life. His name is Will Bowen, and he's the founder of the Complaint Free movement and the author of A Complaint Free World. Today on the show, Will first defines what constitutes a complaint. He then shares the five main reasons people offer complaints, so you can learn to recognize what triggers yours. Will also explains how to deal with being on the receiving end of each type of complaint, so you don't have to listen to the complaining of others.Resources Rel

Working out at any time of day is great. But my guest says there are distinct benefits to doing it in the a.m., and he's going to walk you through everything you need to know, from mindset to habits, to become a morning workout person.Anthony Arvanitakis is a bodyweight training coach and the author of The 7 A.M. Workout Edge: Wake Up, Work Out, Own the Day. Today on the show, he offers concrete tips for overcoming the challenges of working out in the morning, from getting out of bed to finding the time to do it before work, including his "Brain Start-Up Routine" for shaking off the just-woken-up inertia to get going. In the latter part of the show, Anthony details how to do a highly effective at-home bodyweight workout that can easily fit into your morning routine and requires minimal equipment and only 30 minutes. We also talk about how to combine bodyweight training with cardio to do something he calls "cardiosthenics" that's great for fat loss.Resources Related to the Podcast Anthony's previous appearance