Twig's Se Reflections

Play Episode 29 Here Hopefully we're all going to find these. The moments when we see the stress response complete with such an obvious naturalness that we know, through and through, that it's simply waiting to happen. Here's one of my personal examples and the origins of my "What if everybody knew?" question. With humble gratitude for Peter Levine for having seen it all in the first place.

Play Episode 28 Here The capacity for differentiation between ourselves and our clients is critically important. So too is our ability to appreciate what our clients are going through. Sometimes putting ourselves in their shoes, at least in our imagination, can be helpful for recognizing what they can and can't do. Plus, it helps us remain human.

Play Episode 27 Here Classically there's transference and counter-transference and all the "stuff" that goes along with that. While avoiding those words I review some thoughts on how to name and keep the differentiation between ourselves and our clients when we are getting entrained, entranced or otherwise overly connected to our client's experience.

Play Episode 26 Here Our most treasured question in SE is probably the classic: "What do you notice now?" This Open question preserves autonomy and empowerment for our clients as they can answer anything they like, including the dreaded "I don't know." At those times, realizing that there are different ways to ask questions can help practitioners keep things from getting stuck. Here are 3 types of questions that we might use in different situations - Open, Menued and Constrained.

Play Episode 25 Here Outside the confines of the penetrating gaze is another reliable and uniquely intelligent way of seeing, one where subtle shifts of shadow and form stand out from the noise. The use of peripheral vision in SE sessions is often a learned practice and something worth exploring. It'll help us see the more subtle postural, micro and preparatory movements that we often miss when we stare intently at our clients. Here are some thoughts on developing the tendency for soft seeing.

Play Episode 24 Here There's so much interesting stuff to learn swirling around SE and the new traumatology. Sometimes we want to grab it all at once. Sometimes we need to pace out our studies. Here's a little cheerleading for my fellow learners along the way.

Play Episode 23 Here There are times that we need to speak quickly, right off the top of our heads. This is especially true in sessions when people are running headlong into harm with their narrative and we're trying to identify, name or reflect the "blue vortex" elements or resources as they pass by. Practicing with moving our mouths can help us respond more fluidly in these moments. I'll encourage you to give it a try.

Play Episode 22 Here Once we've established enough stability, either in the broader or simpler sense of things, we might choose to do some "resiliency testing" where we'll push things to their edge a bit.  This is valuable for information and also for expanding our capacity by progressively increasing the challenges that we take on and being successful with them.

Play Episode 21 Here The way we meet and great our clients is obviously important. Maybe less considered is the pace and tone we use to close the door when saying goodbye.

Sometimes getting where we want to go requires backtracking a bit or even relaxing in the distance we've already come before pressing on to new ground. Considering the "local maximum" can be helpful in determining which is which.

Play Episode 19 Here We often say similar things to different people, creating a kind of "pattern" that gets our message across effectively. This is also helpful in giving us ways to direct people's attention and allow us more free attention for noticing our clients. Together this could be named "patter" and that's the topic of this episode. With a potentially useful example that you can play with as you like.

Play Episode 18 Here A sponsored episode on ways to get passed the guard that clients often have around noticing positive experience when their focus is directed toward the negative. Thanks Michelle.

Play Episode 17 Here When listening to a trauamtic storyline an SEP's questions and reflections influence what a client pays attention to. Here is a simple map to help guide your responses to different categories of story elements. From "I Can" to "I Want" to "Not Me", it's helpful if you've thought about what we're most interested in supporting - Success or Failure? And then lean in accordingly.

Play Episode 16 Here The first sign of something being different is often the start of a trail worth following (for as long as it provides good "information scent"). Things that stand out are a call to our attention. Here is a little list of things that should stand out to SE Practitioners in SE Sessions, told with a little story of how noticing the differences led to a splendid encounter.

Play Episode 15 Here We can focus our attention on any number of things...the worst case scenario, what's "off", what we still have left to do. We can also choose one of my favorites: Cheering for things when they're in the right direction. No matter how small, every little step in the right direction deserves a cheer.

Play Episode 14 Here Around the time that chronic troubles begin backing off people have the opportunity of getting on "The Upward Trend." It's a nervous system thing as much as anything else but it's nice to talk about some of the elements behind it...like consistent sleep and good choices in friends and partnership. It's also a good thing to recognize that people can get to a place where therapy is less and less important and choices arising from a more accurate neuroception often become more and more accessible (leading to a better and better life).

Play Episode 13 Here Staying in the Session can be difficult when you start thinking "I'm not going to be able to do Somatic Experiencing with this person." Banish the thought! Stay in the Session, that's the only way to be present for when something new happens that you can work with.

Summary: One of the challenges being in "distress" or having the symptoms that go along with trauma and nervous system dis-regulation is that things feel "off" and "weird". That makes things challenging since SE follows a kind of logic that suggests that at some level, those uncomfortable feelings are part of what needs to be "felt" and "experienced." Helping our clients come to a sufficiently participatory place with such feelings is a critical element of the work that we do and of the help that we offer. And it's one reason why our client's need us (for now).

Play Episode 11 Here Daily life probably has some kind of balance between Positive and Negative experiences where, more or less, the ideal is that we can swing between our impressions of them both. Spend enough time around danger and that swinging gets skewed toward the distressed side of things. Getting a sense of how much positivity our client's can handle, along with increasing our own ability to do the same, are hugely helpful in working with folks who've been "put through it."

Play Episode 10 Here Teachers of complex crafts like Somatic Experiencing come in all different styles and capacities for explaining their own process. But none of them can ever name everything they're doing, nor should they. Part of learning the craft is learning how to pay attention and to sometimes "steal the technique." This takes your active participation and observation along with your willingness to adjust your own behavior when you see something that works better, because the truth is, some things can't be explained.