Starburst Radio Podcast

Stardate 9th September 2011... [THE APOLLO 18 SPECIAL] In which Mike Royce attends a Star Trek Art Gallery in New York (Street), mixes with Trekologists, and gives the lowdown on Mono-Breasted James Bond Villainesses. Kris heys encounters Borgs in the toilets, demands more recognition for ‘Clown Rape’, lives in a tent in the Pound Store, and honestly believes that 30% of people have no earlobes. The ‘George Clooney’ of dwarves gets offered an insulting gig, there may be no ‘Carte blanche’ for James Bond, Estelle Getty dies on air, and Burt Weird makes an unexpected appearance... [CONTAINS THE SECRET WORD THAT ALLOWS YOU TO ENTER THE DRAW FOR ‘SPACE MONKEYS’ TICKETS] *Warning contains scenes of Kris Heyes choking on Pomegranate Rubicon All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 4th September 2011... In which Kris Heys has to flee the Studio when 'Mega Spider' attacks LIVE on air, searches for meaning in the ’Crab on a Wheelie Bin’, and finally confesses his true feelings towards the Action Genre. Mike Royce ponders the sexual legality of Bart Simpson and Pete Townshend, takes a House Call from an insane vampire Dealer, explains Simian beans on toast, and really misses his Kryptonite. Darth says ‘Nooo’ again, Ewoks start blinking, Jabba has REALLY big doors, and Paul Mount guest hosts as Fright Night brings out an Inner Porn Star... (Womb Of Dracula ©2011 Kris Heys) [DEDICATED To Ace Reilly] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 28th August 2011... In which Mike Royce takes a dislike to Superman’s blue crotch, withholds 2 grand from an unworthy cause, explains ‘Smileys’ and ‘Boobs’, and faces a backlash from an angry ‘Dr Who’ fanboy. Kris Heys faces a renewed manhunt from Artie Fufkin who is heading to Manchester for a showdown, explains the Boxing Prowess of Uwe Boll, and really fancies Sitar lessons. Final Destination is reviewed, whilst Ronald McDonald goes psycho. The sanity of George Lucas is questioned, Daleks ‘Exsperminate’, and what exactly is Davros doing with his left hand... [SPONSORED BY ‘Graham’s A-Z of Sci-Fi Porn’] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 26th August 2011... [THE INBETWEENERS and SPY KIDS SPECIAL] In which Kris Heys explores the ‘Sitcom Movie’ obsession with going on holiday, destroys his ‘League Of Gentlemen’ DVD Boxset, and refuses to ‘Jump the Shark’. Mike Royce despairs at George Lucas, gains far too much pleasure from the cinematic death of J-lo, copiously explains Goblin, and just wants to go to America. Shotguns become walkie talkies, William Castle is a multi-trick pony, Alien Spaceship interiors should be not seen and not heard, and rubbish Chinese Dragons need to face the window... [RECORDED in BONEHEAD-ARAMA 5D] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 21st August 2011... In which Kris Heys investigates Basil Dealing, the relationship between Cars and Doc Hollywood, the Haunted House of Nick Cage, and creates the singing duo of Demon Martin and Tom Groans to help cope with the silence of Artie Fufkin. Mike Royce reveals the True Horrors of ‘Spooky World’ in Warrington, the problems of where not to be saved by Ghost Rider, and why you shouldn’t have a sleeping bag in Space. The marriage of Bert and Ernie is averted by common sense, The lone Ranger is averted by Werewolves, Brenda Anne Spencer doesn’t like Mondays, and ‘Pinhead’ from ‘Hellraiser’ doesn’t like any day of the week... [SPONSORED BY THE BIKINI OF PHOEBE CATES and The Cape of CHRISTOPHER REEVES] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 17th August 2011... In which Mike Royce learns the importance of carefully selecting your siege location, seeks help from Salford’s greatest Super Hero, whilst desperately searching for a new supplier of Pomegranate Rubicon. Kris Heys is subject to a manhunt from Artie Fufkin, due to an empty grave and weaponised Crème Brulee, whilst his evil Stepdad is referred to the ‘Toys Crimes Tribunal’ over the ‘Hordak Slime Pit’ incident. The evolution of Apes is questioned, there are F Bombs in ‘Super 8’, and why exactly is Tom Six such a tosser? ALL THIS AND MORE, IN THE FIRST OF A SPECIAL 2 PART PODCAST All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 17th August 2011... In which Kris Heys investigates the Psychology of Sneezes, why ‘MAD MEN’ is ruining ‘The WALKING DEAD’, is not impressed that Kate Beckinsale has liberated her boots, or that Kryptonians have pets. Mike Royce has problems with DVD Boxsets that give him evil stares, explains the Story of Dr Strange, but it all goes Wong, and then reviews ‘Rumage of The Planet of The Apes’. The future of the Comicbook Industry is debated, the Worst Movie ever made is revealed, there is new hope for supplies of Pomegranite Rubicon, and exactly which 3 Movies saved the Summer Blockbuster Season? [ALL THIS AND THE SECRET TWITTER PASSWORD TO ATTEND A FREE SCREENING OF THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, WITH MIKE & KRIS. IN THE FINALE OF THIS SPECIAL 2 PART PODCAST] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 17th August 2011... In which Kris Heys and Jason Statham continue to spread misery at Fufkin Manor, but a last minute peace deal involving ‘Die Hard’ is brokered. Mike Royce finds his own death slightly disappointing, but less deviant than the demise of David Carradine. Daleks look on in despair as ‘Crazy Terry Nation Mania’ begins, Spiderman and Bono meet the Village People, ‘SUPER 8’ gets reviewed, and Superhero Sex Offenders turn up at all the best parties. Headphones and Goody Bags become the new Loaves and Fishes. ‘Ghost’ takes on ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’, and a Blu-ray debate reveals the famous ‘Wizard Of Oz Munchkin Suicide’... #SHUTUPBRIAN still trending and still sent from a sodding Blackberry® All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 31st July 2011... In which the Ebay dreams of Mike Royce are cruelly shattered by the live interview with Captain America Star Brian Gorman, whilst The Crypt Keeper makes inappropriate sexual advances to Anne Hathaway at the Oscars. Kris Heys and his movie recommendations cause devastating consequences in the life of Artie Fufkin, resulting in broken necks, damaged cat waistcoats, and a blood feud. There are Muppets fuelled by joy, female stormtroopers helping you find the droids you are looking for, pity Lobsters aplenty, competitions are forgotten, Pierce Brosnan morphs into Clive Owen, and don't miss 'Battleship Movie Meltdown: Part 2' in a show that should clearly have been taken off air by now... #SHUTUPBRIAN sent from my Blackberry® All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

FROM THE ARCHIVES - from 'long thought lost' recordings we proudly present a Bonus Show - The SECOND ever edition of the Starburst Radio Show Stardate 26th March 2011 [The STARBURST RADIO SHOW is about to begin its' Second Show...] In Which Kris Heys comes to terms with his loss, names and shames his toy destroying relative, before going to the toilet live on air. Mike Royce discusses Star Trek quantum mechanics, Robin Hoods’ high tech wooden weaponry and the Legends of Ed Wood and Hunter S Thompson. There is a new movie from the creators of the ‘Crankchise’. ‘Borrorwood’ is born. The wonders of the Death Star Play-set are revealed, and the heated Avatar debate gets derailed by ‘unobtainium’... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 24th July 2011... In Which Artie Fufkin makes an apology in person to Kris Heys and throws down a conciliatory challenge. Mike Royce explains normality and fiscal matters to his comicbook buddy, whilst going crazy over the Spiderman remake of Videogame ‘Mirrors’ Edge’. ‘Cars 2’ and the future of Pixar is examined – leading to accusations of ‘Pixar Bashing’. There is arm-wrestling between Spiderman co-stars Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. Rebooting and Sequel making liars. The panel of UK Chatshow ‘Loose Women’ hate men, but deeply appreciate a certain farmyard animal. Finally, a 2000 to 1 anomaly leads to a postage nightmare and a shock winner for the coveted ‘STAR WARS’ Headphones... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 24th July 2011... In the midst of a tech disaster at the Radio Station, STARBURST RADIO record a BONUS Episode. Mike Royce reveals the source of the finest kebab in the UK, and the Worlds longest running Movie franchise. Kris Heys is not happy with Vampires in daylight, but quite happy that ‘The Hoff’ battles them in season 2 of ‘Baywatch Nights’. ‘The Texas Someone Died Story’ is debated, and it’s Michael Sheen Vs Ginger Potter in a Top Trumps Face Off... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 17th July 2011... In Which A Tech Disaster wipes out the Radio Station, but STARBURST RADIO continues, undeterred by common sense. Mike Royce reveals the connection between the Klu Klux Klan and Harry Potter, why beards are important on Antarctic research stations, and the only 2 reasons to read a Dan Brown novel. Kris Heys introduces ‘The Celebrity Lobster Scale’, ‘Kenny Baker fear Factor’, and ‘Sad Face Syndrome’. There are Wizards at Waterstones, Little Wizards at the Arabian Derby, and Pizza adverts that horrendously backfire. Finally, Stephen Hawking arrives to dish out a lovely pair of ‘Rebel Alliance’ headphones... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online. [BONUS FEATURE: Mike Royce makes an ill-advised £500 legally binding bet with EVERYONE who downloads this Podcast ]

FROM THE ARCHIVES - from 'long thought lost' recordings we proudly present a Bonus Show - The very first edition of the Starburst Radio Show Stardate 19th March 2011 [The STARBURST RADIO SHOW is about to begin for the very first time...] In Which Mike Royce gets ‘Skylined’ yet again, whilst explaining the problems with Superman’s Sperm. Kris Heys sorts out the manhood of Jamie Lee Curtis, before losing a prized possession because of David E. Kelly. The Battle Royale that is ‘Old Vs New Star Wars’ begins, and Hugh Fatman is not happy, not one little bit... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 10th July 2011... In Which Mike Royce explains why you should always place bread related items at the top of your shopping bag, before ‘Snakes And Ladders:The Movie’ triggers a meltdown. Kris Heys is further cemented as the ‘go to guy’ for Action Movies, and Artie Fufkin grants him his 3 wishes. There is Yodelling in the valley prior to the crusade for ‘Subtitled Movies’. Too much calamari in ‘Star Wars’, and murderers at Frankie & Bennies. Finally, after brief technical problems, The Prize Elves draw the winner for the Wolverine Headphones... [BONUS FEATURE: The Kris Heys Guide To Sexually Abusive Film Directors] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 3rd July 2011... In Which Mike Royce gives Photoshop 101 to Total Film, whilst explaining the virtues of giving good head. Kris Heys reflects upon his Vigilante cinema rampages, gets to the bottom of suppository drugs in movies, before unwisely claiming that 'Transformers 3' has more artistic merit that 'The Kings Speech'. Boba Fett Headphones are won amidst controversy regarding his origins, whilst everyone wonders why there are restaurants in the Pixar movie Cars... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 26th June 2011... In Which Kris Heys gets the knives out for the ‘Harry Potter trio’ & Tolkien, before being outed by Artie Fufkin. Mike Royce lands the show in hot water with the unedited edited version of Goofy Grrl, and secures an unhealthy 18 certificate. Sad farewells are said to Artist Gene Colan and the roles of a Dentist and a Daughter in the death of Columbo is revealed. Pierce Brosnan causes song related injuries, and finally the Hulk headphones are won... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 12th July 2011... In Which Mike Royce upsets French cinema goers, and Kris Heys sees his hopes of a decent movie go Kaboom. Shia LaBeouf & Harrison Ford plan the future of Indiana Jones in a hypothetical sauna, and the Bitch that is Kim Basinger causes us all to go ‘Team Baldwin’. The validity of Video Game Movie adaptations is scrutinised, and the creator of ‘Lost’ gets out the daggers for January Drones. The Great Snake Rape is unwisely entered into, whilst Mike and kris finally win Ace over... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 5th June 2011... In which Mike fears for the safety of his beloved comicbook collection, but discovers Anime Doctor Who is the way forward, the Starburst Writers speak out at the Launch Party whilst Creator Dez Skinn & Mike Royce discuss the future of Starburst, January Drones robs the Xmen of a perfect 10, and everyone is super polite when talking about the Sony Super Hackers... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 29th May 2011... Kris Heys has Freshman Jitters at ‘Whoniversity’whilst a Rancor from his past comes back to haunt him, Mike Royce rips out the Laptop power lead live on air, the ‘Babyboys of Bangkok’ are created by accident, the Mammary Glands of Brian Zembik are examined copiously , Film Censorship is debated, Mike Royce takes a short break before ripping out the same Laptop power lead, and forgetting to review one of the movies... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.