Pod's Burgers: A Podcast Chronicling A Bob's Burgers Obsession

My stars, it's Christmas and we're here to talk to you about Season 9's UFO No You Didn't. Hear us discover the correct place to speak into the microphones, wax nostalgic about Snow (that bad boy Canadian rapper, of course), determine which planet you definitely do not want to listen to to try to fall asleep, and also talk about how something something the sun, red giant, rocky inner planets and the fact that just EVERYONE is abuzz about Europa (EVERYONE, we said). Also: we never watched Splash so we don't know if forcing a mermaid to watch TV is a good way to teach her English, so you'll maybe you can let us know.

Winter holidays are upon us, and we discuss the snow day spectacular Better Off Sled. We talk about the beautiful, powerful feminism of an epic snowball war, the intoxicating nature of a winter day with no plans whatsoever, that time that Miss Triple X-mas herself - AKA THE Todrick Hall - said he totally wanted to meet us and we have proof and we're sure he wasn't just being nice, no, not at all. Oh, and but also: Linda's crafting nightmares bring to mind the death of Jen's childhood dream of being a mime (cold cream is NOT pancake makeup, and don't you forget it).

We pretty much overdose on 80s nostalgia talking about the stellar roller-ific episode Roller? I Hardly Know Her! We discuss key moments in rollerskating past, the excitement of discovering someone else - even if that someone else is a cartoon character - is allergic to hummus, how Robo Wizard Quest would be even better if only Briddany could be involved in creating it, and the exciting moment when we discover something super interesting about Saint Michael McDonald. Also: joys and pains of new recording equipment, thoughts about Purple Pie Man's clothing and Briddany performs an impromptu One Direction cover. BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Season 1 finale: check. Our one-year recordaversary sees us discussing I Bob Your Pardon, the Thanksgiving episode from Season 9. Hear about Jen's embarrassing admission that she cannot read maps to save her life (here's hoping she never has to read a map to REALLY safe her life because we are NOT KIDDING SHE CAN'T), how Louise's little blue tights are about the cutest thing to ever happen to animation, and how the beauty and splendor of the rendering and cinematography of an animated forest (even containing kie-oh-tays) can border on a religious experience. Also we talk about some pretty inspired Bob's Burgers gifts you'll definitely want to check out.

Thanksgiving is nigh and we thankfully discuss two classic Bob's Burgers episodes - Gayle Makin' Bob Sled and Turkey in a Can. Hear the carefully curated List of Things that Happen in a Lot of Bob's Burgers Thanksgiving episodes as well as the List of Ways in Which Gayle is Really Just Our Mother. Feel the coziness of making up cuss words on a snowy day surrounded with turkey aroma. And marvel at that time our father made total barf-a-rama like Linda after she sees a turkey in the toilet, except with way more running around.

We discuss the episode that seems like someone had a fever dream, wrote it down, and made it into an episode of Bob's Burgers - Live and Let Fly. Hear about the pristine beauty of Mr. Frond's 90s aesthetic, why red cream soda at the laundromat CAN be a special treat (we guess), how squeezing your cheeks is can be good for you even when you don't have to poop, and whether "opening eggs" is an acceptable thing to say when you are using eggs in cooking.

We finally get to talk about The Taking of Funtime 123 from the latest season. In this episode we talk about the perfectly spot-on heist plot and Ocean's Eleven references, how desperately we want to play The Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald, who we would hide our pillow-that-says-"butt" from if they were coming over, and how important catalogs can be no really they are, stop looking at us like that.

It's our 20th episode, and to celebrate we're ranking all the Halloween episodes. We...we know it's past Halloween. But don't you want to get that sweet Halloween vibe back? WE CAN HELP. We talk about how swanky you can feel if you sip whisky from an unusual (but CLASSY) vessel, how to handle it if your husband wants your best pal skeleton to move out of your conversation pit, and that time the spirit in the vacation house in Napa wouldn't stop calling Briddany a weird (and wildly misspelled) name. Along with ranks with reasons for every one of the Halloween episodes, of course.

It's Halloweentimez and this is the first of a two-part Halloween extravaGANZA. In this one we talk about the newest Halloween episode, Season 9's Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street. Hear about our concern for Linda's seeming ambivalence toward this sacred holiday, that 10-second moment at the end that just really made the entire episode, how much we wish Mutilation Mansion was real, and that time that Jen broke her ribs because she forgot that she should not try to do things. Ever.

Season 9 is finally here and this time we're talking about the Season Premier: Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for Now. We talk through the brilliant funtimes of this musical episode and discuss whether or not you really need pants in space; our own, real life, true-as-true-gets experiences writing Friend Fiction (the non-erotic kind, but still); how hair-brushing is only romantical if you are unable to drag a brush through your own coiffe; and end up awarding Briddany the mantel of "Best at Noticing Things" (life goal realized!).

We love a Parade(rs of the Lost Float), you guys. Join us to go over the super important questions like "is Dave a good name for a clown?", "how does a toe stop you from doing your podcast for a really long time?", "can there be anything better on a float than a perm-aid?", "can Pride get any better?" (that one is a yes - if it is raining it's better), "why is a list of different types of float decorations angrily delivered by an octogenarian so damned charming?" and "is Hot Pants Rain Dance the first or second best disco song about rain ever?"

Ahoy! (we hate ourselves for that, don't worry.) This time we're talking about Season 6's The Land Ship, otherwise known as The One Jen Has Watched More Than Any Other Episode, and Although She Really Likes it She's Not Sure Why That Is. Hear about the Horrors of Dating a Terrible Kisser (Tina has some battle scars from that whole deal, you know), tips and tricks to get the most out of your next porta-potty trip, and why you should figure out how and where to watch the 1977 Jodie Foster/Helen Heyes joint "Candleshoe" like, right now.

This go round we talk about the Season 5 gem Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl. We unequivocally determine that the Wagstaff Fall musicals are pure art, we prove that Briddany can still learn new things about Jen (Jen loves Working Girl, whaaaaat?), we recall Briddany's delusion re: the feasibility of owning a horse when one lives in an apartment, and we tell you all about a character from Land Sisters real life past, Jake (not his real name), the head-standing shirt-ripper (can you just see that on an old-timey circus poster? YES YOU CAN).

We're really tired, you guys. But we still manage to get all in a lather (HORSE REFERENCE BAM YOU'RE WELCOME) about Season 4's classic episode Equestranauts. And but also we attempt to uncover 5 things you never knew about St Michael McDonald and we learn that one of the things you never knew about Jen is that she sometimes goes by Jen (clutch the pearls!), and you'll hear about which of the Equestranauts is Briddany, you guys. Also: we attempt to accept that Gene has imaginary friends other than Ken and we wish that we lived in the capital of Horse Valley and we're close but not quite.

There's a lot less poop-related content in this one than you'd expect from an episode about the Mad Pooper episode of Bob's Burgers. You do, however, get the deep thoughts about this episode from Season 3, along with: an update on the ways in which our patron saint Michael McDonald shows his benevolence to us; our theory that Africa by Toto is basically musical cilantro; how we've all had our own Lenny DeStefano and we best just admit it now; the best snacks to make in the microwave; and the weirdest assembly ever to occur in the history of assemblies. Get in here with us, people. This is news you can use.

We move to Season 2 to discuss Bob Day Afternoon, one of Jen's favorite, go-to episodes, and there is so much to unpack here. We discuss dirty-gutter-or-spiderwebby-light-fixture panic attacks, the nuance of Malaysian cuisine, yet another over-analysis of a background character's inner world, the Hamburger in the Room, and the Sophie's Choice of demented singing mole vs demented singing bowl (bull? bowl? we don't know).

Shut your mouth, it's Art Crawl. Jen and Brid break down the fan favorite episode from Season 1 and go through all those important points like the fact that Gayle is our mother, like, exactly. And but also how 80s movies were super problematic way too much of the time and what sort of transportation Jesus would employ (spoiler alert: he definitely teleports) and what makes good art (and what makes good art is vampire tape recorders and Stonehenge and Dr. Yap).

One of our favorite Bob's episodes yet is about fraud in the form of gasoline-scented, eternally-wet-inked trading cards featuring slugs. So of COURSE, we spend time talking about After School Specials, the proper amount of booze in a martini on Tuesday, the correct (and so not correct) way to be a Dungeon Master, and that summer when Briddany was a blue horse with pink hair and French accent and Jen gave a book report that consisted of nothing more than the lyrics to I Am the Walrus (not kidding, that happened). This all ties to Bob's Burgers and this episode. Promise. We mean, as much as anything on this podcast ever does.

Wedding season, y'all. We talk about the episode with the longest title yet - Something Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You. We over-analyze spatchcocking, discuss how releasing any members of the animal kingdom as a theatrical event is never, ever a good idea, and talk about the optimism that can come from a yoga jumpsuit purchase. Also apparently Michael McDonald is our patron saint now, so dibs on that.

We discuss Boywatch and break down why it is that we love this episode when so many fans dislike it. Also: the standard over-analyzing and waxing philosophical about everything, such as: why poor swimming triggers Briddany's anxiety and how Jen can barely handle Tina's need for Sugar Cookies. Bonus: a vaguely related, cacklelaugh-drenched story about Jen wearing three pairs of underpants because she was trying to bend physics and but also because OCD. No. Really. We're sorry.