Late To The Table

In the true tradition of Chris Columbus and John Hughes the gang spend the whole episode talking about the Mandalorian and pornography.  Whoopsie do!  

The gang reach new lows of hedonistic depravity by watching a FOURTH movie about trains in the snow!  What levels of opulence will be reached in this modern holiday classic?  I’m not sure.  I’m too busy having exotic oils applied to my skin by virgin koalas.

One day all this will pay off.  One day you’ll be on a quiz show and have to name as many movies that feature trains in the snow as you can.  When that day comes.  Think of Late to the Table.  THINK OF US AND WEEP.  Does Sidney Lumet’s train classic Murder On The Orient Express hold up?  Are we gonna have to watch The Wiz someday? FIND OUT EVENTUALLY!

Train Snowvember inexplicably continues!  Does the 1997 Don Bluth (ugh) film hold up?  What are the extent of Christopher Lloyd’s necromantic powers?  Is this movie worth it from a financial point of view-for anyone-?  Find out babies!

Two desperate men watch the 2013 film Snowpiercer.  Does it hold up?  Was it good in the first place?  Can they resist uttering the words “Captain America” while looking at Chris Evans’ sexy, sexy body?  I hope you choo choo choose to embark on this episode!

The annual October spooktacular comes to a close with the last movie in the Evil Dead trilogy!  Does Army of Darkness hold up?  How far does brand loyalty go?  At what point in a horror movie do you just kill yourself?  FIND OUT NOW

The gang keep up their October Spooktacular by watching the beloved 1993 family movie Hocus Pocus.  Just like all family films it features hanging, crime sprees, and yabbos. Late to the Table is committed to one upping this and spends half the episode talking about incest and Star Wars,all the while being gross and close minded.  Whoops! Our bad! I blame a witch’s curse! I’m blameless! This can’t be my faaaulllltttt!!!!!

The Spooktacular continues! In their first sponsored episode the guys form their own baby sitter’s club and pay homage to the glorious People’s Republic of China/Activia Yogurt.  

YOU IDIOTS.  You fell right into our trap.  It’s the annual Spooktacular and you’re stuck in it!  Can you break the old gypsy’s curse or will you be forced to listen to Late to the Table review four classic horror movies?  FIND OUT BY LISTENING DUMMY.

The Boyz revisit the brief swashbuckling renaissance of the early 2000s. Can producer Jerry Bruckheimer do it again?  And by it I mean recycle music from the rock and be misogynistic?  WELL I GUESS YOU’LL HAVE TO LISTEN TO FIND OUT. HUH JER? HOW DOES THAT SOUND? DOES IT SOUND OK?

It’s a new rebooted era of the podcast with two new hosts!  Listen along as Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland recount Bridge On The River Kwai in the grossest way possible.  Apologies to all grandmas, local cats, and the estate of Alec Guinness.

The guys celebrate episode 250 in style by watching the 1957 classic Bridge On The River Kwai. Looooks like we maaaaaaaaaaaaaade it!

The gang don their 1980s hats and erotic undergarmets to watch the John Hughes classic Pretty In Pink.  Does it hold up? What’s John Hughes’ track record on this show? I don’t think it’s good. He’s no 2007 New England Patriots.  Or 2018 New England Patriots...or 2016...or WAIT EVERY YEAR. THE PATRIOTS ARE GREAT EVERY YEAR. Suck it rest of the world! WOOO AMERICA, NEW ENNNGGGLLLAAANNNDDD! Next week: 250.  Get into it.

There may be 500 days of summer but this podcast is over an hour of Mike and Rich talking about pooping you pants. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how this keeps happening…every few months.

The gang tries to make fat stacks by watching a movie with a stacked cast on their podcast. Does the 2007 film Juno hold up? Why do people have such a strong reaction against this movie? What’s the best way to have sex with a ham product? Find out? If you’re into that kind of thing? I guess?

The guys begin another unmarketable theme month by looking into twee-indie--pop movies from the early 2000s. That’s a mouthful. Does Garden State hold up? Why did everyone turn on this movie? Why is this episode as long as the film? Jesus.

Holy shit. Have you seen this movie? Oh my god. It’s the 35th anniversary of ROTN and it has not aged a day! Wow! This holds up so well! Its thoughts on gender dynamics are incredibly progressive! Revenge Of The Nerds is high brow and refined! It puts the culture in rape culture! Does it hold up in 2019. I’ll give you a clue: it starts with “N” and ends in 85 “O’s”.

After burning all their accrued good will with Hanks/Van Damme Month, the guys try to win back the slovenly masses with a crowd pleaser. Yeah you like that don’t you? You idiots will listen to anything. Does The Mighty Ducks hold up? Find out as Mike and Rich flying V straight into your heart/pants!

The four weeks of Tom Hanks/Van Damme whiplash conclude! Is a movie that is directed, written, and produced by Tom Hanks as charming as he is? How weird do Mike and Rich get? Find out, you fucking coward!

The guys continue their deal with the devil by watching alternating Van Damme and Tom Hanks movies. Timecop: is it as bad as the title suggests? Does it accurately predict the future? We’re never watching another Van Damme movie, right? RIGHT?