Relationship Alive | Marriage Advice | Sexuality | Relationships |connection | Intimacy | Love | Dating

How can you heal your relationship after one of you has had an affair? What does it take to restore trust and come back to a place of mutual love, passion, and understanding? And how do you “affair-proof” your relationship to begin with? In today’s episode, we’re chatting with Michele Weiner Davis, bestselling author of Divorce Busting, and author of the new book Healing from Infidelity, which is meant to be a guidebook for couples who are trying to answer these very questions. Michele’s work draws upon decades of experience and is focused on the strategies that actually work - both for rebuilding your relationship after an affair, and for preventing affairs from happening in the first place. It can be challenging, but the rewards are most often a stronger, more connected relationship than what you had before. Healing from infidelity takes courage: Shame is one of the largest roadblocks to recovery. After infidelity has been discovered, both the betrayed and the unfaithful partners can feel shame, although f

How do you increase the levels of oxytocin, the "love" molecule, in your relationship? And can you do it in a way that also helps with any imbalances in libido/sexual desire? In this episode, I offer you one powerful way to boost the oxytocin and foster even deeper, sustainable intimacy with your partner.  Also announcing my new FREE guide - the Top Three Relationship Communication Secrets - that's designed to help you stay connected with your partner even when talking about the most challenging of topics. To get it, simply visit http://www.neilsattin.com/relate or text the word "RELATE" to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. It's quick to read, and will absolutely change the way that communication happens in your relationship. Enjoy, and see you next week!

What are the keys for building trust, at any stage in your relationship? What can you do to amplify the things that are going right in your relationship? What has research revealed about the secrets that make love last? And what can new parents do to ensure that their relationship stays strong even as it changes with the new addition to the family? On today’s episode, we’re going to hear from one of the world’s foremost experts on how to build a successful relationship - Dr. John Gottman. In his second visit to the Relationship Alive podcast (see Episode 1 for his first visit), John Gottman offers answers to these questions and more expert wisdom on how to take your relationship skills to the next level. Trust is the core issue for new relationships. People new to their relationships are constantly wondering: Do you have my back? Can I trust you? Will you be there for me? The majority of arguments and conflicts are, at their core, about trust. Trust is absolutely essential to build safety in a relationship (

Isn't this supposed to be easier? Sometimes you do get the gift of a new perspective or skill that facilitates change, and everything just falls into place. It's more common, however, that when you're trying to make a shift - even one that brings even more positive energy into your life - there are bumps in the road. This week - some reassurance - and a strategy to help you when it's challenging.

How do you take sex to the next level? Make it something that continually enlivens you - without resorting to gimmicks that are unsustainable at best, detrimental at worst? Can it become something that brings you to transcendence and bliss with your partner - as well as connecting you to a deep experience of the divine? And can you have these kinds of experiences in a way that’s sustainable, so that your sexual and sensual connection with your partner is always alive and vibrant? In today’s episode, we’re talking with Margot Anand, one of the world’s most well-respected tantra teachers. She’s author of “The Art of Sexual Ecstasy” as well as many other books on Tantra and awakening through sex. Margot Anand’s new book “Love, Sex, and Awakening” is an inspiring memoir that not only gives you a glimpse into her own personal journey - but also highlights some of the key components of making your sex life transformative - an awakening experience. Here are some of the essential highlights from our conversation - p

With so much information - how do you choose what to do to help your relationship? There's no possible way that you could do it all, and in this week's episode, I offer you a tip to reduce the overwhelm and start seeing some results. Plus I know you're busy this time of year, so this week's installment of Relationship Alive is short and sweet - with a preview of what's to come in the new year. Enjoy, and see you next week!

Whether it's making love, or doing the laundry - how do you create an environment where your partner wants to fulfill your desires? This week's brief episode explores exactly that - focusing on how to shift your perspective on getting your needs - and desires - met in your relationship. Enjoy!!

How do you bring the full YOU to your relationship? How do you keep things fresh, and vibrant? How do you breathe that life into the places where you experience conflict with your partner, to unravel the knot that might keep you in an old, unhealthy pattern? And how do you steer your relationship towards your dreams of what might truly be possible - even if it feels like you’ve gotten off track? In today’s episode, we’re going to cover all of that and more in a conversation with Hedy Schleifer, creator of Encounter-centered Couples Therapy. It’s one of my longer episodes - rich with content and ways for you to create positive, dynamic energy in your relationship. My goal is for this episode to transform you, so that you’ll no longer be able to experience the landscape of your relationship in the same way. What’s so exciting to me about Hedy Schleifer’s work is that it integrates much of what we’ve been talking about here on the Relationship Alive podcast. Alive in connection: The goal of Encountered-centere

If you're looking for things to change or grow in your relationship, but nothing is happening, you might need to ask yourself this IMPORTANT question. Are you willing? In this week's podcast, I reveal how to use this question as part of a process to uncover some of the hidden obstacles to progress in your relationship (or in general). Also, on December 14th 2016 Chloe and I will be offering a free webinar: The 50-Minute Relationship Breakthrough. In it, we reveal a simple 3-Step Strategy to build deep intimacy with your partner, transform conflict into connection, and uncover new tools and possibilities to keep your relationship alive and thriving. Click here to register! It's at 1pm Eastern (US), but there will be a replay available if you cannot be there live. As long as you're signed up we'll be able to send you the link to the replay. Looking forward to hearing about your insights, and seeing you for the webinar!

Breakups happen. With the right frame of mind, any breakup that you go through can become a golden opportunity. It can be the best thing that ever happened to you - and, believe it or not, it can also be the best thing that ever happened...to your relationship! We’ve covered the topic of Conscious Uncoupling here on the podcast, back in episode 21 (with Katherine Woodward Thomas) - and now we’re going to take a slightly different approach. In today’s episode, we’re talking with Chris Seiter of ExBoyfriendRecovery.com and ExGirlfriendRecovery.com - about what’s involved when you decide that you actually want an ex...back. I’m going to assume that you’ve done your soul-searching here, and that getting your ex back is actually something that would be good for you (apart from a “heal my pain, now, please” kind of thing). If not, please take the time to do that. Fortunately, if you’re following Chris Seiter’s approach, you’ll find yourself with time built right into the process - time to grow, heal, and...get som

Did you know that amplifying the gratitude in your life can have an enormous impact on shifting you from scarcity to abundance? Today's episode, short and sweet, offers you several quick practices that can help you get into the habitude of gratitude. Enjoy, and - if you're here in the US - Happy Thanksgiving!

What do you do when you feel like your relationship is going in the wrong direction? How do you find new things to try when you feel like you’ve tried everything? And what’s possible for you when you’re going it alone - perhaps when your partner already has one foot (or both feet) out the door? On today’s episode, we are chatting with Michele Weiner Davis, author of the bestselling books Divorce Busting, The Sex-Starved Marriage, and The Divorce Remedy. Her solution-focused therapy has helped thousands of couples come back from the brink of separation and divorce to a place of lasting, thriving love. You can’t figure this stuff out by meditating on the top of a mountain. We are not necessarily born with the skills required to have healthy and happy relationships. Instead, we learn by watching our adult caregivers, and for many of us, this means that we did not have great role models or teachers. That said, it is possible to learn these skills, including how to navigate conflict with grace and compassion, how

How do you increase the amount of positive energy in your relationship? Since what you focus on grows, in this week's episode I'm going to give you some thoughts on how to expand your ability to focus on what's working (both within yourself, and in the way you relate with your partner), and stop feeding into what isn't working. Enjoy these practical suggestions that you can put into practice - today. It's always possible to find something to celebrate - especially when you know how and where to look. Which is what I'm about to teach you on today's Relationship Alive podcast. I'm excited to hear about how this practice impacts you in your life and your relationship - make sure you let me know!

How do you foster intimacy, even when you're fighting? The recipe for a successful relationship involves learning how to collaborate even when things aren't going well. And once you learn how to do that, you'll find that opportunities to create intimacy are abundant in your relationship. It's the magic that happens when you're willing to work together no matter what's going on. In today's episode, we're talking to Dan Wile, the creator of Collaborative Couples Therapy. Along with seeing clients and conducting intensives for couples, Dan Wile trains therapists in Collaborative Couples Therapy, and his work is recommended by John Gottman as an embodiment of the principles recommended through his research and practice. Here are the details on what we cover: Create a loving conversation: Many couples struggle to communicate their way through conflict- so often resorting to withdrawing or fighting. Collaborative couple’s therapy helps couples learn to reach out to one another in difficult moments and around diff

When things go wrong in your relationship, what do you do to make things right? Whether it's something small, like accidentally hurting your partner's feelings, or something big (like infidelity), there is a process that you can go through in order to not only heal what's happened, but to leave you stronger, as a couple, than you were before. In today's episode, I cover the secrets of how to repair your relationship. If you've tried and failed to heal the hurts of the past, to find forgiveness, and to move on in a more positive way, then my goal here is to show you what you're missing. I cover: What you can - and must - do on your own - the inner work necessary. What to do with your partner - the relational skills of repair When to involve a 3rd party to help you out It's completely normal for things to come up that require repair. The question is: can you actually fix things and move on? The skills of relationship repair are required for any successful relationship - and here they are, summed up for y

Want to deepen your sense of what’s possible in sex, and experience a completely new kind of sensual connection to your partner? There’s more to sex and sensuality than most of us discover on our own, and on this show, one of my goals is to help you relearn and re-experience yourself as a sexual being. The practice of Orgasmic Meditation (OM), created by Nicole Daedone and promoted by OneTaste - the organization that she co-founded, allows you to explore orgasm sensuality in a totally new way. It is also a profoundly different way to connect sensually with your partner. Today’s guest, Aubrey Fuller, is the co-owner of OneTaste New York and OneTaste Los Angeles, and she is one of the world’s experts on how to “OM” - and the benefits of the practice. Orgasmic Meditation (OM)- OMing is a partnered exercise introduced by slow-sex leader Nicole Daedone who co-founded OneTaste. It is a therapeutic and meditative sensual practice in which the focus of awareness is on the stimulation of the clitoris. One person (the

Being in relationship is an act of courage. And while it's easy to see the obvious moments when you're "feeling your fear and doing it anyway" - what I want you to discover in this week's episode is just how much the micro-moments of risk-taking and vulnerability - and the courage required to show up in even THOSE moments - is what a successful relationship is made of. If you follow Brené Brown's work on vulnerability at all, that's exactly what I'm talking about. This week I'm going to tell you a story about how this recently played out in my relationship with Chloe, and along the way offer you strategies and insights about how to find your courage and make the most of moments of risk and vulnerability. Plus a bonus strategy on how to deal with a busy life that doesn't leave much time for togetherness. All this and more, this week on Relationship Alive!

What do you do when you and your partner disagree on something truly important? How do you find a way to bridge the divide and come back to a place of collaboration and understanding? And how do you know when to throw in the towel? Today’s guest, Sheila Heen, of the Harvard Negotiation Project, is one of the world’s masters of turning difficult conversations around. In today’s episode, you’ll discover some of the skills required to get through an impasse back to a place of connection. And like many of the relationship skills that we’ve covered here on the Relationship Alive podcast, our goal is to give you some new approaches to familiar situations, to uncover the blind spots that get you into these predicaments in the first place (or prevent you from getting out of them. Once you make the shift, you’ll never experience conflict in the same way again. What qualifies as a difficult conversation? If you are anxious about raising a conversation, or have raised a certain topic a million times and it goes badly o

One of the most important skills in relationship is knowing how to actually show up - to be present. And while presence is a skill you can learn, there’s something else that’s almost always required if you’re going to be present for any length of time. You have to have something to bring to the table, and the only way that’s going to happen is if you’re paying attention to your own needs. It’s called “Self Care” - and in this episode I talk about how to honor the parts of you that are calling out for time, space, and attention. When you can show up consistently for yourself, it will be much easier for you to show up for others. This episode also contains a quick guided meditation to help you get centered, and more in touch with what those deep parts of you need. Please make sure you don’t try to do that part while driving! Also, if you’re interested in finding out more about the 7-week online course that Chloe and I are running, called “Thriving Intimacy,” please visit http://www.neilsattin.com/course or tex

How do you harness the power of your mind so that it’s working for you, not against you - especially when things get triggering with your partner? We now know that our minds are flexible, and that through neuroplasticity you can continue to develop and change throughout your whole life. In today’s episode, we are talking with Dr. Dan Siegel, one of the world’s leading experts on mindfulness and neuroplasticity, about how you can apply mindfulness with your partner to develop deeper connection to each other, and to yourself. Come along for the ride, as we take an in-depth look at the relationship between your mind and body - and your partner’s mind and body! Self- In today’s culture we have equated Self as an output of the mind, and the mind as some outcome of the brain. We have narrowed our definition of Self and separated it from a broader and more integrated wholeness. Invite in the possibility that your sense of SELF comes from the weaving together of many layers of your being, and is as expansive as it i