Relationship Alive | Marriage Advice | Sexuality | Relationships |connection | Intimacy | Love | Dating

There’s nothing quite as powerful to help you on your journey as the community of friends that surround you. However, our friends aren’t always clear on how to do that - particularly when it comes to your relationship. How do you enlist your friends to support you in your partnership? In today’s episode, you’ll discover a sweet way to create a moment of deep connection with your partner and to show your friends exactly how they can help you and your partner nurture your connection. If you’re single, this practice will show you how you can harness the energy of your community to keep you on track in life - and in your quest for the right relationship (if you’re looking for that). Along with strengthening your relationship, this practice will also help you strengthen your connection to your friends!

How do you stop repeating the old beliefs and actions that are holding you back? How do you ensure that the core part of your inner guidance is sending you in a positive direction? If you find yourself doing the same old dance again and again - either with your current partner or in relationship after relationship, then this is the episode for you. Joining us is Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of the NYT Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling, as well as the bestseller Calling in the One, as a guide through a powerful process of self-discovery. We dive deep into a core part of her work, the “secret sauce” that has helped Katherine transform the lives of so many people worldwide. Katherine Woodward Thomas has been on Relationship Alive a couple times previously. If you’re interested in hearing our other episodes together, they are: Ep 21: Healing Pain from Past or Present Breakups Ep 3: Overcoming Your Barriers to Love and Connection Repeating the story: So often we get into relationships that allow us to recr

How do you clear away the energy of your past to help you be present in your life, and relationship? In today’s episode, we talk about a specific process to tie up loose ends, so that they don’t drain your energy here and now. Why let all of those old connections get in the way? After you go through this process, you’ll feel so much lighter, and have more mental and emotional capacity for the current things that matter most. In this week’s episode, I’m building a bridge for you between last week’s episode, with David and Lila Sophia Tresemer - where we talked about Conscious Weddings and the power of making commitments, and next week’s episode, which will feature Katherine Woodward Thomas and a deep dive into transforming your core love identity. Enjoy - and please let me know how it goes for you!

How do you bring magic and consciousness to the way that you commit to your partner? And, if you’re getting married, how do you create a wedding that truly represents YOU - not simply what society expects a wedding to be? Plus - is there a way to imbue your commitment with dynamic energy - instead of feeling confined, and stagnant? It today’s episode, our guests are Lila Sophia and David Tresemer, the authors of Conscious Wedding Handbook, and producers of the DVD Couples Illumination: Creating a Conscious Partnership. Along with answering these questions, we chat about how to develop deep, sacred alignment with our partners - and how to create space for the “Sacred Moment” to occur - in your weddings and rituals, as well as life in general!  We need to be engaged: It is not quite enough to just want to be happy and ‘do life’. In order to be fulfilled in our lives and in our relationships it is critical to engage in discovering and committing to that which gives a sense of a deeper and more expansive meaning

When someone gives you a gift, what do you do? Do you stick it in the closet and wait for a rainy day? Or do you open it, and appreciate it, right then and there? Whether things are going well for you right now, or you're stuck in something less-than-awesome, this week's episode offers you a simple practice that can help amplify the good things - and find the grain of hope in any situation, no matter how dismal.  After all, it's often not the big things that matter - it's the simple things, the simple gifts, that keep us fueled in connection - connection to the things that matter most in life. Also make sure that you check out last week's episode with Erica Ariel Fox, on how to Create New Possibility from the Inside Out - based on her New York Times bestselling book, Winning from Within. Next week, we'll be chatting about the power of conscious commitment ceremonies, with David and Lila Sophia Tresemer, authors of The Conscious Wedding Handbook. So enjoy this week's "simple gift" and see you next week!

How do you get better at being you? How do you get past the stuck points - that gap between what you know you could/should do - and what you actually do? We have a vast amount of inner resource available to us to help get unstuck and learn new ways of showing up - and today we’re going to bring that resource online. Our guest is Erica Ariel Fox, author of the New York Times Bestseller Winning from Within. Erica is part of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and her book follows up where Difficult Conversations leaves off - addressing that question of “How come this still isn’t working even though I know what I’m supposed to do?” Often, it comes down to the inner work that needs to be done - so that the outer strategies can actually be effective for you. (if you’re curious - you can listen to our interview with Sheila Heen, one of the authors of Difficult Conversations, here in Episode 59) So - where do you start when you’re trying to figure out why what ought to be working...isn’t? How do you figure out what p

How do you get better at being in relationships?  How do you create different experiences than you have had in the past (especially after the honeymoon stage has run its course)? How do you continue to deepen the intimacy and joy in your relationship when your attention is being drawn in so many other directions? In this episode, I introduce you to something I call "deeper relating", and how developing these skills allow you to tap into each other’s creativity and resourcefulness. It’s a key skill in taking your relationship to a completely new place, where you and your partner get to continually discover each other.

There’s a particularly sticky place that comes up in most relationships. It’s the place where your deep desires meet your partner’s fear and resistance - and vice versa. How do you unravel this dynamic, to experience the magic that lies on the other side? That’s what we’re going to cover in today’s episode with Hedy Schleifer. Hedy, the co-creator of Encounter-centered Couples Therapy, is going to describe what she calls “Unraveling the Survival Knot”. In this process, you get to uncover the gift that lies deep within the core of your relationship. The Survival Knot could seem like an impasse at first, but then it becomes a source of profound connection, growth, understanding, and healing for your relationship. If you are curious to hear our first episode with Hedy Schleifer, you can listen to it here: Ep 69 - How to Be Completely Alive in Your Relationship. It’s not a prerequisite, but in many ways it sets the stage for today’s episode, so make sure you do check it out. Unraveling the Survival knot: Every

What’s the recipe for success in a long distance relationship? How do you stay connected when you’re apart? And how do you handle the times when you’re together so that they’re less intense? In today’s episode, I tackle the topic of how to bring balance to a long distance relationship. My goal is for you to get some new insights into where your relationship might be doing well - and where it could use some help. What was interesting to me in recording this episode was realizing that so many of these hints are helpful for ANY relationship - even when we’re not separated by miles. In fact, it’s possible that you live your life as if you ARE in a long distance relationship, even if you see your partner every day. In this episode I also answer a listener’s question about what to do when it seems like your partner needs “too much” space. So whether your relationship is taking place over the miles (or kilometers), or you’re in the same town, or the same bedroom - today’s episode is for you, to help you build conn

Why do we love? Is it part of human evolution? What in our biology makes us strive for love and intimacy? And how do we make it last? This week we welcome Dr. Helen Fisher, TED talk all-start and author of Anatomy of Love - A Natural History of Mating, Marriage and Why We Stray. In this episode we dive head first into how long-term partnerships fit into what makes us human - along with some thoughts about breaking up, serial monogamy, and what makes love last. Helen Fisher is the Chief Scientific Advisor to Match.com as well as a Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute. You’ll appreciate how her knowledge of the science of love can give us the roadmap to long-lasting happiness in relationship. We are built to fall in love. Is the quest for long-term thriving monogamy futile? History, biology, and evolution show us that we are, in fact, built to create pair bonds. We are built to fall in love. Our brains are wired to feel intense feelings of romantic love and attachment. While there is biology to suppo

How do you know if someone is right for you? Whether you're dating and trying to figure it out, or finding yourself second-guessing your choice of partner - this episode is for you! My goal is for you to have some new ways of answering this question for yourself, to get you to a deeper level of understanding. In some respects, the answer to this question is going to be unique to every situation. What follows in this episode are some general principles that will help you get more clarity and figure out your next steps when you're asking yourself "How do I know if this person is right for me?" I also talk about some practical ways to bring up the conversation with your partner (if you're in a relationship) in a way that will lead to the best possible outcome.

What role does your gender play in how you react to stress? And how does it determine the best ways to recover from stress? And what does it mean in terms of your relationship? The more that you understand your biology, the better you’ll be able to help yourself (and your partner) in the stressful times, and in the not-so-stressful times. In this week’s episode, we’re talking with John Gray, author of the international bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. His latest book, Beyond Mars and Venus, is an update to his work, and offers some insights into how to apply it to your life and relationship. He likes to say that he not only has great advice - he follows it - and John has been married for over 30 years. Our conversation covers a LOT of territory - so enjoy the ride! Stress response: Stress is universal and ubiquitous. It permeates our lives, our bodies, and our relationships. Luckily, while it is true that we have little control over the presence of stress in our environments, research show

What is the role of "alone time" when you're in a relationship? How do you take space in a way that helps your relationship grow, and flourish? And what kinds of things should you do with your alone time - if you want it to support your ability to connect as well as your ability to shine brightly in your own right? While much of the Relationship Alive podcast is focused on the skills of relating and loving - the things that you do together with your partner - today's episode is focused on a particular way of taking time apart. It's the Art of Taking Space - because, as with everything, there are ways of taking space that can not only enhance your life, but also enhance your connection. And there are ways where...not so much!  Enjoy this week's journey with me on Relationship Alive! 

If you want to take your relationship to the next level, then you have no choice but to connect at a higher level. And I mean a MUCH higher level. How do you bring your connection to the divine, something greater than you, into your relationship? And how do you and your partner take that energy and use it to co-create something amazing in the world? Something that feeds your passion for each other - as well as for life itself? Today we’re going to tackle those questions, and more, with one of the world’s most respected spiritual teachers, Andrew Harvey. His new book, Evolutionary Love Relationships: Passion, Authenticity, and Activism, is just out - and it is a passionate vision of what’s possible in relationship. In this conversation we focus on how to make the divine not only accessible - but also a way of reinforcing the fabric and vitality of your connection to yourself and your beloved. Becoming your Being: Becoming aware of ourselves as divine beings opens doors into new realms of possibility in all of

Are you making choices based on fear? Or are you making empowered choices, based on who you truly are? When you come from a place of fear you usually don't get to experience the choice as your own. It feels like there is "no other choice."  The funny thing is - you could make the exact SAME choice - but from an empowered place of deciding based on what serves the highest good - and have a completely different experience. One in which you feel your aliveness, your potency. Same choice, different result. All based on where the choice comes from. In this episode, I describe a possible path through the fear, to the other side. And you'll learn a little bit more about me, and my relationship with Chloe, and how I came to be where I am today, in the process. My goal is for you to experience being "OK" - no matter what - so that you can feel the power of your choice, your agency, and enjoy the results, whatever they are. Also - a little reminder - if you haven't picked up my Relationship Communication guide yet -

How do you have better, more passionate, more connected sex with your partner? If you’re looking for information about how to deepen your sensual connection so that things actually improve over time - then you’ve come to the right place! Today’s episode features Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), and author of several best-selling books on how to do relationships well, including Hold Me Tight. Sue’s work masterfully blends attachment theory with how to thrive in partnership - and she’s here today to talk about how knowing your partner more deeply, and building safety, can create deep passion in the bedroom. (You also may recall Sue Johnson’s first visit to the Relationship Alive podcast in Episode 27 - Breaking Free from Your Patterns of Conflict.) The theory and science of relationships has not really looked at sexuality. Newer research is finally beginning to look at sex in the context of relationships. Of course sex can be recreational, but the vast majority of people are experie

What is the impact of distraction on your relationship? Or, for that matter, on your life? And - what can you do about it? There's only one way to know - and that's what we're talking about on today's episode of Relationship Alive! Also, don't forget to check out my free guide on the Top 3 Relationship Communication secrets. To get it you can visit neilsattin.com/relate or text the word "RELATE" to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. These simple actions can completely change how you experience your partner (and how they experience you) - bringing you closer whether you're talking about the easy things, or the challenging things. Meanwhile, I hope you also took a moment to listen to last week's episode with Keith Witt - and stay tuned for next week's episode, featuring a conversation with Sue Johnson about Attachment Theory and creating a vibrant sex life. Now I'll stop distracting you, and let you focus on this week's episode! :-)

How do unconscious forces affect what you do in your relationship? Is there a way to get in touch with those things lurking in the shadows of your inner self - so that they can become fuel for positive energy in your life? In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Dr. Keith Witt, integral psychologist and author of the new book Shadow Light: Illuminations at the Edge of Darkness, and we will dive deep into how you can harness your shadow as a force for good! (If you’re curious to also hear Keith Witt’s other episode, you can check out Episode 13 - Resolve Conflict and Create Intimacy through Attunement) Defining shadow: Shadow is the concept that there is a lot that influences us of which we are not consciously aware. For example, our nervous systems are always reacting to internal and external cues. Our nervous system processes information from the world within and the world without and sends this information, these stories, to our consciousness. As our nervous systems scan and determine safety cont

How do you speak your truth (effectively) in your relationship? And what can you find out about yourself from the requests that you make of your partner? In this week's episode, we talk about powerful ways to communicate what's really going on with you - to get you to a deeper connection in your relationship. Enjoy!

How do you foster more fun and creativity in your relationship? How do you change things up when they get boring? How do you keep them from getting boring in the first place? How do you bring your authenticity into the “fun”? In today’s episode, we’re chatting with Cathy Salit, author of Performance Breakthrough and one of the world’s experts on how to use improvisation for personal development. Her expertise offers answers to these very questions - so...on with the fun! Are you finding ways to engage with curiosity? We are constantly in relation with what the world brings to us. By bringing the concept of improvisation into our lives, we begin to see all the possibilities and potential scenarios that each new moment offers. We shift from a stuck pattern of habitual response, into a place of curiosity and (sometimes) humor. We can even learn to delight in the fact that we are performers capable of changing the scene and scenario in new and surprising ways! We are all natural born performers: We are all natu