I Can't Believe I'm A Loser

This week we introduce ourselves to one: Rachel Ratner.  She helps us to understand 311 and SUBLIME and we tell her campfire-style stories about when we used to go FISHING.  We also synchronize swim, learn how to lose that last 20 pounds before we get married and we cross another food off our EATING BUCKET LIST.  Please enjoy responsibly. 

Hello.  This week we douse ourselves in urine and throw caution to the wind.  We also grow our wings anew and redeclare our love for each other.  It. Is. Stunning.  ALSO: eyelid talk, Paul's back pages, and our own personal suicide invoice.  It's not HEAVY, it's HOTTY. 

This week we welcome back Daniel from his trip to Spring Training!!! He describes in detail almost seeing someone die in LA, and the feeling he experienced when he SOCKED A DINGER!!  We also open up two humongous CANS OF WORMS! And then we discuss Paul's declining health and religion. 

Back and weirder than ever.  We talk about porno for way too long.

This time we have comedic polymath Matt Nyce over for a nice healthy dose of reality.  Basically we just talk about the merits of making out with Colin Quinn. I am being dead serious.  Please support us by listening and doing as much FRENCH KISSING as you can possibly muster.

Happy VALENTINES DAY!!! This week we zip something up in our pants that we shouldn't, Paul counts sheep in his sleep and calories on his IPHONE, we both VISIT A RAVE;  we also re-open the SKY DUMP can of worms, walk in on someone using the toilet, and play rap wars until we are bloody and pulpy.  I gave you VD.

Who does number two work for?? This week we let TV Coahran of GGNZLA Records and SPURM see all of our WARTS! He liked them enough to write us some jingles and help us FIX OUR LEAKY ROOF! Also: what it sounds like when our parents have sex, RAP Games is a WAR, TV steals a football and we set a new bet.  CHECK PLEASE!

Shake my hand, SHAKE IT!! This week we dissect the lyrics to "Big Empty" by STONE TEMPLE PILOTS, we hang out in the TRUST-TREE HOUSE and tell our most embarrassing board game stories!!! What's up with RAP WARS, you ask?............FIND OUT!!! These are the eyes of disarray.

¡Hola Chicas! This week we invite the EXTREMELY TALENTED Shannon Perry to talk us down off a ledge.  We hit up Gay Marriage, find a pay station for being prostitutes, we infect a few people with a FEW DISEASES, and we plan our VERY FIRST KEGGER!!! Oh, and Daniel wrote RAP WARS this week, DIG.

I don't mean to boast, and I don't mean to brag, BUT this week's episode is the RAW, UNCUT DOPE!!! We wonder who will find us when we die, argue about being JERKS to each other, finally discuss the whole DOG FECES IN THE AIR situation, and we DECIDE ON A RAP WARS BET!!! You'll be pleased when you listen, so will we.

HOLY JUNK, we are back to talk 2012 into oblivion!  This week Professor of NATURAL FEELINGS Bradley Depew is our guest.  We invite him into our world of projectile vomiting, rollerblading, snakebites, stinky cheeses and the ethical dilemma faced when you find a twenty dollar bill in the gutter.  PLUS: RAP WARS and a QUIZ Daniel wrote ABOUT HIMSELF!

We missed you!  Sorry this is so late -- this year we promise to get our game strong.  The PowerHour (60 shots of beer in 60 mins) sorta backfired on us.  Then we get real sappy/lovey dovey.  Happy New Year!

Ho Ho Ho, now I have a machine gun.

HEY WHAT'S UP?? This week DIRTY STANK DOG and the Lil COCKER DANIEL penetrate DEEP into sordid stories of: PENETRATION, PRE-MATURE EJACULATIONS, RAGING SOFT-ONS and the ABCS of DIRTY WORDS.  Need I say more? It's dirty, revealing, and revelatory.  LISTEN//SHARE!!!!

Whoa, we just got SO WOO-WOO!! This week Elissa Ball introduces us to crystals, Tarot, Haiku, and incense! Also: Paul sings the theme to Cheers in it's ENTIRETY, we spot AMANDA KNOX STEALING PISTACHIOS RED-HANDED, we SYNC-UP and discuss the rigors of SPOTTING, and introduce new stakes to RAP WARS.  Listen up, we are totally trending so hard right now!

This week we get back to our roots: JUST THE TWO OF US STYLE!  Re-live a time when one of us HAD OUR V-CARD taken away, listen to an intense debate about whether a vampire is ALLOWED TO JOIN THE HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL SQUAD, why are DADS such DADS? AND: a very special NOCTURNAL EMISSION! Clean your house and LISTEN UP.

This week we open our doors to our first FLY-IN guest: the inscrutable MARK JAFFE!  Find out how long you have to wait in a NEW YORK HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM when you get a bottle smashed over your head, LISTEN TO GROWN MEN WHO HAVE SHARED LOVERS, and welcome our newest game: JAFFE WARS!  Download post-hastily!!

This week we invite the INPENETRABLE Carlos Lopez into our zone! Also: we find a hot trustafarian, we dip tampons in holy water and SUCK ON THEM, Carlos hides a secret in a CARDBOARD BOX, and we all admit to having SHRIMPS IN OUR POCKETS.  WISE-UP, GET REAL, LISTEN IN!!!

This week we are joined by artist and musician extraordinaire Brian Standeford.  Paul thinks he’s dying.  Brian gets propositioned at a party.  Potential mistresses have the cops called on them. Daniel sneezes twice.  Listen hard and go to Brian’s art show 11.10.11 at Bauhaus coffee on Capitol Hill.

Ever wonder what it sounds like when Daniel talks to himself in a large living room where a cat is puking?  WELL YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!  Finally, our equipment turned on us, OR Paul's mom's house is CURSED.... WHICH IS IT?  I say both.  Sorry for the tease, but not really.  See y'all next week!