Boodaism

We want to be one of the good ones. When women talk about the ways they’ve been mistreated, abused and made small at the hands of bad men, we secretly hope they don’t mean us. We hope they don’t notice the ways we haven’t been perfect. We are mostly confused about how to give women […] The post On Being A Man [Poem] appeared first on Boodaism.

I had a lot of trouble writing an article this week. I made a promise to myself in December of 2014 that I would post every week to Boodaism and so far I’ve kept that promise (aside from a planned Sabbatical in February). But I knew this week was going to be a bitch. In […] The post The Hardest Thing About Professional Blogging appeared first on Boodaism.

In 2010 a woman accused me of rape. CW: This contains description of an unwanted sexual advance. Here’s the story. I met a woman in Houston while on tour as a musician. We exchanged numbers and when I came back to town a few years later I looked her up. We met for food, then […] The post I Promise, It’s Not ‘Lame’ To Ask A Woman for Consent appeared first on Boodaism.

Sometimes I forget why I travel. I like to think I do it for the amazing memories, and that’s partly true. I like to think I do it to expand my world, and that’s true too, but there’s one important reason that I seem to easily forget. I do it for contrast. Contrast means enduring […] The post Traveling Sucks Too appeared first on Boodaism.

Let’s talk about sex. In fact, I want to share something that I like sexually, and to be honest, it’s weirded people out in the past. They say it ruins the mood, they say I over do it, and they say I shouldn’t need that before sex. I guess you could even say it’s my sexual fetish. Ready? It’s talking. Yeah, […] The post Communication Is My Fetish appeared first on Boodaism.

I’m a snobby musician. I judge, I complain and I rant about how musicians should be better at their craft and pay more attention to the details. I even use the excuse that I have refined taste (which of course I do) but the truth is my critical mind also hinders my ability to enjoy music. […] The post What Music Is Really About appeared first on Boodaism.

This is for all the times I’ve stopped myself by trying to write something smart or profound. This is for all the times I had to stop making art because the bills on my desk got too loud to ignore. This is for all the times I tried to write something people would like, or […] The post This Is For Me appeared first on Boodaism.

Do you know the most dangerous man in the world? It’s not the man who is trained to kill, it’s not the billionaire who is obsessed with money and it’s not the zealot bent on converting everyone to his religion. The most dangerous man is the one who can’t get laid. That’s because when a […] The post In Defense of Pick Up Artists appeared first on Boodaism.

Five years ago I heard some wisdom from a woman in her fifties, and at the time I thought she was crazy. “Dave, do you know why most people go on second dates?” She asked. “Because they like each other?” I replied. “No.” She said. “The reason most people go on second dates is one […] The post The One Question No One Asks On A Date (But Should) appeared first on Boodaism.

Being alone is a relief, but feeling lonely sucks. Being alone is a needed break from the hectic world that constantly demands our attention. It’s a cup of coffee and a good book while the kids are off at school. It’s a solo hike up a beautiful mountain with the sounds of nature keeping you […] The post Loneliness Is My Spiritual Practice appeared first on Boodaism.

Today I started reading Eat, Pray, Love, as one does when they are re-discovering themselves. I can relate a lot to Liz Gilbert’s description of her first marriage. I know what it’s like to not want to leave a relationship, while simultaneously not wanting to stay in it either. Her honesty and fresh perspectives are […] The post There’s No Such Thing as a Failed Relationship appeared first on Boodaism.

The people I pay attention to are the ones that can hold multiple perspectives. They are the ones that speak their truth, but also have the awareness to recognize that it's just one in a sea of truths. The post You’re Perfect Just the Way You Aren’t appeared first on Boodaism.

We live in a culture that holds longevity as the primary measure of a successful relationship, but that’s like judging the success of someone’s life based on how many years they live. The post How I Define a Successful Relationship appeared first on Boodaism.

If you don’t jump, you don’t graduate. That was the thought running through my head as I prepared to plunge 33-feet down into a dive pool at the United States Naval Academy. I was terrified. My stomach was in knots, and I felt like throwing up as I slowly walked toward the long, cold metal […] The post Don’t Follow Your Heart appeared first on Boodaism.

The problem we face as people living in western society isn’t that we are failing to succeed, it’s that we’re playing a game that’s not worth winning. We work harder and harder to acquire more status, more money, more things, and all the while never realize that winning the game isn’t just impossible, but will […] The post We’re Unhappy Because We Try to Win a Shitty Game appeared first on Boodaism.

The scariest thing in my world is knowing that I always have direct access to pure, unfiltered truth. This isn’t a claim of me being special, or better than anyone, it’s just my experience of life. At any time, any place, I have access to something so true is cuts like the sharpest knife. I’m […] The post I’m Afraid of My Truth appeared first on Boodaism.

The difference between drug users and people in love is drug users know they’re high. That’s the funny thing about being in love, most of us are convinced we’re sane. We actually perceive ourselves as having more clarity, more access to truth and more self-awareness. The love we are now experiencing often feels like a re-claiming of […] The post Love + Drugs appeared first on Boodaism.

There are some wonderful things about living in California, and also some things that make me want to scream. I just returned from a wedding in Massachusetts, the state I grew up in. I met a lot of wonderful people, had some stimulating conversations and noticed something surprising. Out of all the people I talked […] The post On Personal Branding and the Addiction to Self-Importance appeared first on Boodaism.

There is a phrase chalk full of wisdom, profundity and great relationship advice that echoes through the halls of locker rooms, fraternities and groups of beer-drinking men everywhere. Bros before hoes. This simple statement represents a concept that has helped me have a more passionate, fulfilling marriage, and I can’t believe it took me so long to […] The post My Wife Is Not My Therapist appeared first on Boodaism.

Recently, I decided that I don’t want to have kids. It came with a huge sense of relief. I’ve been on the fence about it for years so feeling clear has allowed me to look into my future with a renewed sense of conviction and confidence. It wasn’t an easy decision though. It’s a catch-22. We can’t know […] The post Yes I Would Be A Good Dad, and No I Don’t Want Kids appeared first on Boodaism.