What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 495: The Buck Stops Elsewhere Part 2 of Iran Contra This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands immunity from paying his bartabs only to be found in contempt by the bartender. (Again) On the show this week we take a look at the fallout from the Iran Contra Affair. (Spoiler: No one went to jail.) Along the way we discover that Dave has a dubious idea of what “truth” means. (If you are just now learning this, welcome to the show) Then we dive into why Congress has the ability to investigate things. (Campaign advertisements) Then we talk about how a plane crash in Nicaragua and a magazine in Lebanon caused the whole Iran Contra Affair to come apart at the seams. (The magazine was Highlights for Kids) We take a look at how the Reagan Administration reacted to being accused of doing all the crimes they actually did and how Congress “accidentally” made sure no one would suffer any consequences for breaking the laws. Our Sponsor this week is Shreds It All, when you need documents gone fast, call Shred

Show Notes Episode 494: Ollies Big Idea Part 1 of Iran Contra This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried to implement a plan where the bartender gave him whiskey, he drank it and the tab was paid by a third party which would remain classified. (It did not work.) On the show this week we talk about the time the United States did one crime to pay for another crime, we talk Iran Contra! Along the way we learn that Dave’s idea of acceptable parenting, isn’t.  Then we dive into the history of the National Security Council, fighting the Reds since 1947. (Heroes, everyone!)  From there we meet the man who would be at the center of a criminal conspiracy that threatened to take down the Presidency of Ronald Reagan if only Ronald Reagan could remember that he was even President. We follow the money from missile sales to Iran to weapons drops over Nicaraguan jungles. (As conspiracies go, this was one of the dumber ones) until we wind back in Washington DC where everything starts to fall apart. Our returning Sponsor this week

We are taking the week off to recover from a cocaine hangover, so we bring you a rerun of a classic episode! It is ALSO a foreshadowing of what is to come! So, enjoy our hit job on Ronald Wilson Reagan and get ready for an ever NASTIER hit job next week! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 493: Secret Dealer Man Part 3 of the Crack Epidemic This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried to make a bartender believe he was an undercover agent for the state liquor authority and drinking for free would help their case. (It would have worked if his “badge” didn’t read Female Body Inspector) On the show this week we FINALLY conclude the Crack Epidemic and Coke Month with the story of how maybe the CIA did the crack epidemic. Along the way we discover that Dave will do anything for love, but he won’t do that. (That being to help a stripper smuggle drugs) Then we dive into the not so secret history of the Central Intelligence Agency. Then we meet a CIA asset and Panamanian dictator who trafficked so much coke the US Army got involved. (In taking him out, not buying his coke, we think.) Then we talk about a reporter, a hot story that was almost too good to be true. (Turned out it actually was too good to be true.) Our Sponsor this week is the Central Intelligence Agency, less evil than you thi

Show Notes Episode 492: You STILL Want A New Drug Part 2 of the Crack Epidemic This week Host Dave Bledsoe thought he was done drinking but discovered his credit card company had (Foolishly) upped his credit limit. (This will not end well for either of them) On the show this week we deliver part two of the crack epidemic talking about all the lies told by white people to scare themselves about black people doing crack.  Along the way we find out that Dave is a little snitch.  Then we dive right into a totally unnecessary lesson on the historical geography of Washington DC. (Flimsiest pretext yet for a tangent.) Then we learn how the President of the United States entrapped a high school student to sell him crack. (Every word of that is true and mostly accurate.) From there we discover how Ronald Reagan (HE’S BACK!) set the stage for the mass incarceration of two generations of Black Men. (We’re sure it was an accident.) Finally, we explain the most heinous lie of the whole damn lot of them, about moms, bab

Show Notes Episode 491: You Want A NEW Drug? Part 1 of the Crack Epidemic This week Host Dave Bledsoe found himself unexpectedly in a serious situation when we staggered into an Irish wake and had to pretend he was cousin Eamon from Cork. (He was quickly figured out because his fake Irish accent kept sounding more Jamaican.) On the show this week we unexpectedly found ourselves tackling a topic way more serious than this dumb show should be allowed, the Crack Epidemic. Along the way we discover that Dave was a tattle tale growing up and then dive right into the backstory of crime in the 70s, 80’s and 90s. (This is where everything started going wrong.) Then we learn how someone (could be kids from Barbados could be kids from Berkeley, or the CIA) learned how to make crack from stuff in your cleaning cabinet.  We take a look at the economic and social conditions that made the crack trade so popular in the inner city. (This is where shit got real) before laying out crack’s real top customers.  (White peopl

Show Notes Episode 490: Miami Vice Vice Baby This week Host Dave Bledsoe finds himself in hot water with his boss over his constant screw ups and is told to turn in his microphone and podcaster badge   (Which is just some toy Jeremy got out of vending machine and told Dave it was “official”) On the show this week we head back to the 80’s to talk about a television show that took America from 70’s beige to 80’s neon pastels, Miami Vice! Along the way we discovered that Dave really wanted to Fish from Barney Miller growing up.  Then we dive right into a brief history of the Vice Squad in America.  (Turns out it was mostly about policing people white people didn’t like! Who Knew?) Then we meet the people who made Miami Vice, from the NBC executive who had a vision. (Literally: MTV Cops) to the actors, costume designers, music supervisors to the guy who faked the Ferrari! We see how the show changed American fashion and made the Miami Drug Wars a tourist attraction.  (Fucking Americans, man!) Our Sponsor this

Show Notes Episode 489: We Built This City on Flake and Blow This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts on a Hawwian shirt, drops a Jimmy Buffett record on the turntable and mixes up a Bahama Mama before anyone figured out that he was not part of the wedding and threw him out of the venue. (This happens a lot.) On the show this week we head south to a city of sun, sand and billions of dollars worth of cocaine, we talk about the Miami Drug Wars! Along the way we discover that a television news man was the most trusted man in Dave’s family. Then we dive right into the history of what would become Miami Florida, and the first snow birds who moved there after they retired. From there we get into how the CIA helped kick start the cocaine trade in America. (This isn’t just something “funny” Dave said, this happened.) We learn how the Cubans were all murdered by the Colombians (Scarface was a documentary really) and took over the Miami trade for themselves. We meet the scariest woman in Miami (and Bogota, and, well everywhe

Show Notes Episode 488: Coke Is IT!! This week Host Dave Bledsoe was in a bathroom stall with white powder all over his face. (He passed on the shitter eating a powdered donut. Again.) On the show this week, we kick off a series of shows about cocaine, the drug that made white people think disco was for them! Along the way we learned that Dave was never cool enough to even try cocaine! (Pussy) Then we dive right into the history of Bolivian Marching Powder, Columbian Nose Candy, Frosted Flakes and many many other euphemisms for it. We trace the history from a neolithic hunter named Jerry (probably) who first tried the leaves of the coca plant, to the quack doctors who sold cocaine as a nostrum for uppity women to the drug that made rock and roll so fucking cool! We hear from happy customers about THEIR cocaine experience and then we kill the buzz with what all those great movies and songs created. (An international crime syndicate) Our Sponsor this week is A Guy, if you need little something, you need to k

It was the fuel that ran the 70’s and 80’s. It gave us disco, hair metal and pretty much every country music song between 1971 and, well now. There is at least a 30% chance that you were personally conceived while your parents were high as balls on it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 487: Trade You Three Beenz for a Flooz This week Host Dave Bledsoe offers to trade the bartender stock options in his internet start up Beer Me only to have his IPO flop badly. (Again) On the show this week we head back the heady days of the late 90’s when everyone had an internet startup ready to fail, the Dot Com Bubble! Along the way we are reminded why you should never take financial advice from a podcast host. (Particularly a drunk who doesn’t host a finance podcast) Then we dive right into what it took to turn the internet from an open forum dedicated to the sharing of knowledge and ideas into the cesspool of hate, conspiracy and commercialism that is it today! (Hint: Money.) Then we chart the rise and fall of a generation of dot coms as they grew from tiny venture capital funded stupid ideas into giant stock financed stupid ideas! (That’s capitalism baby!) Our Sponsor this week is BadIdea.com, if you have a stupid idea, we will give you money for it! We open with news footage of th

Episode 486: It Could Use More Snot This week Host Dave Bledsoe proffered a Mickey Mantle rookie card in exchange for the clearance of his bar tab despite the fact that it was clearly printed on cardstock by an inkjet low on cyan. (They forced him to eat it before they tossed him out.) On the show this week we examine the disgusting kids collectible that swept the nation in the mid 1980’s (It was like pervy Pokemon!) Along the way we discover that Dave had no friends as a kid. (Just like now!) Then we dive in collectible cards and where they came from. (Smarmy nobles and cigarettes.) Then we opened up a pack of Topps Bubble Gum to see what we got.  (Dammit it’s Bobby Bonilla!) We discuss how Topps branched out in the parody “novelty” card market with some clever takes on capitalism and that morphed into a disgusting parody of the most popular toy of the early 80’s: The Garbage Pail Kids.   Our Sponsor this week is Dave-O-Mon Cards, gotta drink ‘em all! We open the show with the trailer for the Garbage Pail

Show Notes Episode 495: Avon, Amway and Tupperware, OH MY! This week host Dave Bledsoe devises a plan where he recruits two people to pay for his drinks and they recruit two people to pay for their drinks and one of his, everyone profits. (It didn’t work because no one likes him enough to buy even ONE drink for him.) On the show this week we took a look back at side hustles in the 70’s and 80’s (And maybe buy some Tupperware.) Along the way we learn that Dave might not be the worst uncle out there? Then we dive into the history of direct sales in America (Buy Farmwhoofer, buy the best!) before we head back to the beginnings of an American institution and how it made generations of American women feel pretty.  Then we move right along to the origin story of all those plastic bowls with missing lids in your parent's kitchen cabinets. (Seriously, none of these lids fit any of the bowls we have!) Then we talk about the granddaddy of multi level marketing scams. (Allegedly) And how Amway created something kind o

Show Notes Episode 313: I Would Smoke 500 Miles, And I Would Smoke 500 More (Redux This week Host Dave Bledsoe wakes up coughing from what he is sure is just cat dander and allergies, and proceeds to light the first smoke of the day!  (We’re sure everything is fine!) On the show this week, we open up that one drawer in the kitchen with all the menus and a phone book from 2001 to see how many Marlboro Miles we can find in there!  (25 miles, only 400 packs of Marlboro Reds to go to get that awesome windbreaker!) Along the way we learn of Dave’s formative years using an addictive chemical to give him the illusion of being cool.  (Cigarettes, not alcohol.That came slightly later.) From there we dive into the history of cigarette advertising in the 80’s and 90’s after Nixon kicked them off the television.  (Someone must have failed to contribute to Dick’s campaign!) We learn how the Brands needed something new and exciting to capture that youth market, and cowboys were NOT cool in 1992!  (Except for you Garth Br

Show Notes Episode 484: Thank You For Smoking This week Host Dave Bledsoe had a protracted coughing fit he blamed on “the damn cat” and not the decades of cigarettes he continues to consume.  (Not the cat’s fault) On the show this week we look at the nicotine tinted world that existed before we all had to go outside to smoke. Along the way we discover that Dave is willing to blame anyone but himself for his addictions before moving right along to the topic of how the cigarette became the coffin nail of choice for millions of Americans. (It was all very American, war and advertising.) Then we learn from first hand sources (It’s Dave so he is probably making it up) what the world was like behind the haze of all that smoke.  From the backseat of your Mom’s car to coach class of an international flight, people had them and they smoked them. (Is there a nostalgic longing for smoking inside a bar? Yes.) We close out with how the world is actually better now that smokers have to go outside. (Even for the smokers!)

Show Notes Episode 483: “Girl…I Want to Take You to a Fern Bar” This week Host Dave Bledsoe goes through a bitter breakup with Mrs. Maria Santamarino who accuses him of stepping out with Mrs. Alice Dougherty, her arch rival at Arbor Terrace Teaneck. (He was.) On the show this week we wind up Romance Month with the rise and fall of the Fern Bar! (Blame TGI Fridays!) Along the way we learn that Dave couldn’t even manage a bar in the basement of his home. (He caught himself drinking on the job and skimming the till.) Then we dive into the history of co-gendered drinking in America! (It is less boring than it sounds.) We chart women in bars through the waves of feminism and how important a place to get loaded when you are fighting the Patriarchy! We learn about Bar Nomenclature (Dance Clubs: Not Bars) and finally all about the Single Bars phenomena. (Yes, we explain the ferns.) Our Sponsor this week is Last Chance Inn, even a fat guy with a podcast has a shot here! We open with an incredibly bad 80s movie and

Show Notes Episodes 482: Save the Last Dance For Me This week host Dave Bledsoe was criminal trespassed from Arbor Terrace Teaneck for slow grinding with  Mrs. Maria Santamarino during the retirement village’s Valentine’s Dance. (Maria was into it!) On the show this week we remember the “fun” of high school dances in the 80’s, so grab your ruffles, soak yourself in Aquanet and let’s get ready to slow dance to Bon Jovi! Along the way we discover that Dave was asked out on a date by a girl, once.(We don’t believe it either) Then we dive right into a quick history of “Prom” before we hit the dance floor.  We cover all the big dances, Homecoming (Football prom), the Snow Ball (a euphemism Dave keeps trying to make a thing), Sade Hawkins (nerd prom) and finally Senior Prom. (Wedding practice) Relive the memories with a tick-tock countdown the Best Night Of Your Life ™. (Or, if you are like Dave, and never went to prom tell you what all the cool kids did that night.)  Our Sponsor this week is The King of the Pro

Show Notes Episode 481: What A Wicked Game to Play This week Host Dave Bledsoe is violently ejected from the Arbor Terrace Teaneck weekly Bingo Night for helping Mrs. Maria Santamarino when she rigged the game for sexual favors to be named later! (He also owed her money!) On the show this week we take a look at television matchmaking shows, the good, the bad, the insane! Along the way we discover that Dave had never been a big hit with the ladies! (Shocking!) Then we dive right into the history or matchmaking going back to the Bronze Age.  Finally, we hit the stage for The Dating Game, before finally sitting down on the couch with the suavest motherfucker in all the 80s, Chuck Woolery! (Before he became a MAGA CHUD and died.)  Then we take a tour of all the dating game shows that came after Love Connections but never rose to its perfection and remind you all that Jenny McCarthy, no matter how nice her boobs, is part of why the world is fucked today! Our Sponsor this week is Last Call Dating, because everyo

Show Notes Episode 480: Find Me…Fabio This week Host Dave Bledsoe was kicked out of a karaoke bar for attempting to perform a “Full Monty Version” of Rod Stewart’s “If You Want My Body”. (Again) On the show this week we begin our tribute to Love (Exciting and New) with the man face and body synonymous with romance in the 90’s: Fabio Fanzoni.  Along the way we learn that Dave thought he was sexy once. (He wasn’t) Then we dive right into the history of the medium that made Fabio so famous. (Sense and Sensibility walked so Texas Splendor could inspire masturbatory fantasies.) Then we meet the man meat, Fabio.  From his origins as a slightly naughty altar boy in Italy, to his time in the Italian Army and finally his arrival in the United States with nothing but a few dollars and a dream. (Also the perfect body and the perfect face.) We trace his career from the covers of slightly smutty books to his meeting with the goose that killed the golden career. Our Sponsor this week is Gordon’s Goose Guard, got geese,

All February What the HELL Were You Thinking celebrates love and romance. (Meaning we make fun of it!) Join us lonely bastards at the bar and take a listen! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices